


Until You're Next To Me

by Yendroid



Series: two more reasons why i love you so [1]
Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Bottom Zayn, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Masturbation, Meet-Cute, The Fluffiest To Ever Fluff, honestly sick buckets at the ready
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 07:23:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 56,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5657644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yendroid/pseuds/Yendroid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugar pie honey bunch, you know that I love you<br/>I can't help myself, I love you and nobody else.</p><p>-The Four Tops</p>
            </blockquote>





	Until You're Next To Me

**Author's Note:**

> A story originally inspired by the following conversation Susan had with Sally in that one episode of Coupling:
> 
> '"Some men are born lucky. Some men are born very lucky."
> 
> "What was Patrick born?"
> 
> "A tripod."'
> 
> \--
> 
> This here is the first thing I've written in 8 years so excuse the general mess of this story that kinda ran away from me in the end.
> 
>  
> 
> Title from One More Sleep by Leona Lewis, because I was feeling festive when I started writing this in December.
> 
>  
> 
> Also; This is for Leigh, for making me see that I am actually able. <3

Zayn never meant to move to London. It was one of those things that just kind of happened. After finally finishing school, he found himself feeling lost, all of a sudden without plans or any sense of direction. It was an odd, unfamiliar feeling and all that he really knew was that he wanted rid of it as soon as possible. He wanted to write, that much was for certain, so the most obvious choice was to keep studying, try to make something of himself and give his life a new direction. He went to uni to try for an English degree, and realised pretty quickly that this was what he wanted to do. The studying itself came easy and Zayn was constantly feeling happy about finally making a proper attempt at making his parents proud.

Becoming friends with Louis was like slipping on a giant banana peel. The slightly bonkers drama student living in the dorm room next door wasn't really someone that Zayn ever considered himself being friends with, but he ended up not really having a proper say about it when said drama student shot a football right at his face while he was walking back from class one very fatal day. It would've been literally as well, if Zayn hadn't managed to duck the flying object at the last second, avoiding getting the concussion of a lifetime, and snapping his head up ready to give the person responsible for the completely uncalled for attack on his life a piece of his mind. A guy who he swiftly recognised as his neighbour with the loud laugh that could be heard through the wall came running towards him in a wild flurry, picking up the ball before proceeding to make sure that Zayn was okay, apologising profusely for nearly sending him into his grave. Zayn still gives him shit about it to this day, and Louis always rolls his eyes (”Oh please, a large bump in the head at most is what would have been waiting for you at the end of that fucking brilliant kick, can you stop whining for two seconds and pick your fucking player you fuckin- _not_ Bowser, you prick!”). In the end, it was a match made in skinny boy heaven.

So, all things considered, it was only logical for the two of them to stick together after graduating. That was the plan, and they stuck to it, even after Louis decided to leave a term early and go down to London to pursue his dream of an acting career that he'd always wanted. When Zayn finally left school with an English degree secured in his backpocket, he didn't think twice about going after him.

In another life, Zayn and Louis probably could have settled for each other. As incompatible as they actually were, they just worked together, in a way that Zayn had never worked with anyone else before. But they realised very early on in their blossoming friendship that a romantic relationship would lead to death sooner than love. Thankfully, they were brothers from the get go, and to be honest, Zayn never saw Louis as the type to favour a relationship in front of anything else anyway.

Not many months into getting settled in London, Louis managed to bag himself a pretty prominent role in the Book of Mormon at the Prince of Wales Theater, and quite obviously, this called for a celebration, and on the night of the big news, completely unexpectedly and out of the blue, Louis met Liam. Zayn still can't quite understand just how it happened; one moment Louis is going home with this ruggedly handsome bloke with oddly contrasting puppy dog eyes. The next, Zayn is lying in bed, hungover as hell, feeling like he just drank a bathtub full of vodka, and Louis is still not home. It was the surprise of a lifetime, getting a text at half three in the afternoon from Louis, saying he was spending another night at Liam's. Zayn had just shaken his head at his phone, huffed out a laugh of genuine bewilderment and surprise and called Louis up straight away to ask him what the fuck was going on. Somehow it lead to quite an in depth conversation with Liam, and then that was it. Then they all of a sudden were three.

Six months later, not much has changed. Louis and Zayn are still the partners in crime they've always been, and Liam, who Zayn soon realised to be a pretty well put together bloke, didn't run away at the drop of a hat like Zayn thought he might, and instead became a faithful and incommutable ally. Looking back on it now, in spite of everything that maybe didn't turn out quite as he had planned them to, Zayn can only count himself lucky.

\--

The fact that the days are getting shorter and darker certainly doesn't help Zayn with getting up in the morning. Morning – it's a term he uses very loosely. Working part time at one of the busiest restaurants in central London at least gives him the perk of not having to drag himself out of bed earlier than noon most days. It also means that on the days he does go into work, he usually doesn't come home until the earliest hours of the following day. All things considered, there are things that Zayn would much rather be doing than slouching at the breakfast bar of his flat at 8 in the morning. Sleeping things. The fact that Louis and Liam stumbled into the flat at around 1 the night before, and kept Zayn awake for longer than he would have liked certainly didn't help, doing things that he would rather not have to picture two of his closest friends doing, but the noises coming through the wall (and the pillow and duvet Zayn had thrown over his head, in vain as usual) honestly left little to the imagination.

He yawns and rubs his eyes manically with his fists, black spots appearing behind his eyelids, before resting his elbows on the counter, head in his hands, and staring blankly down at the bowl of Weetabix that is slowly starting to blend into the milk in a soggy mess. It doesn't look very edible anymore, but Zayn is too tired to be bothered to do anything about it.

”Morning!” Liam's voice is hushed but cheery as he pads out into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants that must belong to Louis, judging by the way the bottoms don't quite reach Liam's ankles properly.

Zayn grunts in reply. It was pitchblack outside a half hour ago, and just the fact that Zayn was awake to know that makes him want to drop his head in his milk.

”What are you doing up? Should I be worried?” Liam smiles at his own little quip, walking straight to the kettle and filling it up with some water. ”Coffee?”

Zayn grunts in affirmation. In his sleepy haze he had sidestepped the kettle completely while entering the kitchen 10 minutes ago. His body is clearly not used to this madness.

Liam smiles in amusement. ”Did you just get home? I thought you didn't have work yesterday?” He reaches down to rummage in one of the bigger drawers and pulls out the toaster.

Zayn frowns at Liam's back in annoyance, as he continues to pull out bread, butter and Louis' favourite strawberry jam. These are way too many questions for this hour, after all this time Liam should know this as well as Louis does.

Liam turns around with raised eyebrows, like he's expecting a vocal answer, or anything equally ridiculous. Zayn glares in bemusement.

”Oh,” Liam quickly shakes his head at himself, as if he's forgotten something important. He's still smiling though, and Zayn keeps glaring. It's one of about two facial expressions he can properly muster up before noon. Not that Liam can see it, he's busy preparing them both coffee and Zayn's gaze shifts to stare at his waiting cup, almost as in a trance. He keeps his eyes on the cup as it moves through the air and comes closer towards him.

”There you go,” Liam sets the cup down in front of Zayn and Zayn lifts a very heavy arm to take a long gulp. It's way too hot to be drinkable and it burns on the way down, but the taste along with the hotness of it serves as the best wake up call he's had so far today. He coughs a bit before sighing in relief. Liam snickers and Zayn finally opens his eyes enough to properly meet his eyes, looking up at him standing with his own cup cradled in his hands.

”Alright?” he grins down at Zayn.

”Thanks,” Zayn croaks out, the first little smile of the day reaching his lips as he takes another slightly smaller drink, grimacing at the warmth of the coffee once again.

”So? What's got you up then? Starting your new years resolutions early? Cos I think that might be cheating.”

Zayn rolls his eyes lazily, both at Liam's words and at the big smile on his face that doesn't seem to want to disappear anytime soon. Morning people. He shivers inwardly.

He clears his throat before remembering about the breakfast he prepared for himself what seems like eons ago. ”Mum. Needed help with some furniture.” He takes a spoonful of what used to be Weetabix and promptly spits it back out again.

Liam grimaces. ”Toast?”

”Please,” Zayn wipes the milk from his chin with the back of his hand.

”They moved a while ago though, didn't they?” Liam asks with his back to Zayn, preparing the fresh toast and putting some new slices in the toaster.

Zayn waits until Liam is putting a plate down in front of him before he nods. ”It's just the last couple things. Still don't understand why she needs it done so early.” He sighs and takes a large bite of the toast, giving Liam a thumbs up as he chews.

Liam brings back another plate of bread and sits by the counter across from him.

”At least now you have a whole day infront of you to be productive.”

Zayn admires Liam's optimism, but still fixes him with a disbelieving look.

”You working late tomorrow right? Louis and I are going to Camden market later, they've opened up a whole bunch of shops in the area recently, apparently Louis' mate's mum has just set up shop there,” Liam frowns and squints his eyes. ”Something like that. Anyway, you should come along.”

Zayn doesn't really have any further plans for the day, but this is frankly way too much information to get this early in the morning, with or without coffee. He stuffs the last piece of toast into his mouth and gets up to refill his cup.

”Maybe, I'll see how long mum wants me for. Hopefully I won't end the day with a hernia.”

He gulps down a second cup of coffee.

”Louis still asleep then?” Liam smiles fondly and nods.

”Yeah, probably won't get him up for a few hours. So to speak.” Liam breathes out a laugh at his own choice of words. Zayn rolls his eyes in mild disgust.

”You know I can hear you, don't you? These walls aren't exactly made of cement. Which is what would be required with you two, honestly.” He grimaces at the memories.

”Sorry, mate. It was a spur of the moment thing. You know we try to keep that for when we're at my place. Or when you're at work.” He tries for an innocent smile that looks more like a self-satisfied grin.

Zayn shakes his head. ”Randy bastards. Just keep it in the bedroom. That sofa used to be my grandmother's.”

Liam salutes with a faux-serious face. ”Scouts honours.” He winks at Zayn, cheekily. Only Louis would turn an honest man into a kinky little sex maniac. Like rabbits, the two of them. And no shame whatsoever. Zayn is only a bit jealous.

”I'll see you later then?” Liam asks, still sitting at the counter and pulling his phone that's been charging over night from it's cord. Zayn gives a slightly more woken up grunt and starts making his way back into the hall. Liam chuckles a bit.

”We'll text you the details.”

\--

When Zayn decided to take the plunge and move to the capital to live with Louis about a year and a half ago, he knew it was only a matter of time before his family would follow after him. They've always been extremely close, and Zayn being the only boy certainly didn't help with his parents being extra keen on not parting from him for too long. It took about 16 months for the Maliks to find, purchase and move to a new house just outside of central London. Zayn wasn't surprised when his mum called, on the day of the settlement, to tell him the news, and only put up a slight fuss about the whole thing. His biggest concern had been the thought that he had been the reason for them to completely disrupt their very settled life up north, but apparently, and completely by chance, his mother insists, his father had landed himself a job at a firm not far away from Zayn's old university, and Zayn had had to scold them both for not telling him sooner, before sighing in defeat and asking if they needed any help with the big move. Luckily, his two little sisters had been very keen on moving; at their age, living in London was about the biggest adventure any of them could possibly imagine. Keeping in touch with their old friends wouldn't be a problem and suddenly the only person opposed to the decision was Zayn. In the end he had just grumbled over the phone, something about independence before his father had called out from the background about wanting a chat with him. Zayn at least had to admit feeling a slight joy at having his direct family so close to him again, although that was certainly nothing he was going to share with his mother.

Zayn manages to wake up even more on the trainride out to Harrow, and envelops his mum in a bear hug when she greets him on the platform. The short ride to the house is filled with catching each other up on their life since they last saw each other, which was only about two weeks ago, Zayn reminds Trisha, when she asks him if he's been eating well.

A flurry of black hair greets him when he walks through the door of the Maliks new house, and Zayn is taken aback for about .5 seconds.

”Hello scruff,” He grins into the hair of his littlest sister, Safaa. ”You been good?”

”I've missed you, Zen, it's been ages since last time.” She looks up at him with a judging face that shouldn't look so convincing on a 12-year-old.

”Why is everybody acting as if I've just come back from war?” Zayn ask defensively as Safaa disentangles herself from him and moves to sit on the stairs. ”Anyway, you'll see me whenever you want now, I'm sure. A bunch of bloody ducklings, the lot of you.”

Trisha swats him on the arm, a little harder than what is expected from a woman of her size. Zayn yelps and shies away unless she might not be done.

”Language, Zayn.” She berates him, a gentle look still on her face somehow. ”And we've all missed you, you know, we always do whenever you're away. You're the only brother they have, it's to be expected when the lad of the house moves away from home.”

Zayn frowns, refraining from rolling his eyes at his mother, and starts taking off his jacket and shoes. ”Mum, that was over a year ago.”

Trisha shrugs while taking off her own coat. ”Doesn't matter, that one year will turn into ten and I will still regret the day I let my little hummingbird leave the nest.” She grabs Zayn's chin in her hand and squeezes his cheeks, making Zayn frown in annoyance.

”Mummyyy,” he whines, just like he used to when he was thirteen and Trisha's motherly behaviour truly used make him want to hide whenever they were in public. Now his voice is filled with laughter, and Safaa giggles at the scene before jumping down from the stairs, heading off towards the kitchen.  
”Now come on then, let's get unpacking.” Trisha says and claps her hands together.

 

The whole ”helping with the furniture”-thing turns out to be a very bad description of how Zayn ends up spending his time before midday. There's a table that needs to be lifted and a china cupboard that needs to be put in its correct place. Other than that, he spends the hours before lunch at his parents unboxing things such as books, DVDs, decorative paintings and a couple of photoalbums that Trisha ends up sitting with and flipping through, cooing and showing Zayn all of her favourite pictures from when he was younger. Zayn pretends to be annoyed, and dramatically rolls his eyes at the pictures of him naked in the sink, and cringes wholeheartedly at the ones of him as a pubescent teenager looking very uncomfortable at family outings.

He can't help but enjoy himself though, even as he's sitting on the floor infront of the fireplace surrounded by more CDs than he ever remembered seeing in his youth while he was still living at home. Trisha looks so happy sitting curled up on the sofa, flicking through the pages in the photoalbum and Zayn reminds himself, looking at her fondly out of the corner of his eyes, to make sure to find the time to visit as often as he can.

At around 11, Waliyha drags herself down the stairs and shuffles into the living room, curling up next to Trisha, leaning her head on her shoulder and looking round the room with eyes that still look half asleep.

”Hi, sweetheart, your brother's home,” Trisha smiles down at her daughter, lifting her arm from where it's trapped between them both to wrap it around Waliyha, stroking her hair while continuing to look through the photos.

”Hi, Zayn,” Waliyha drawls, not seeming to mind or care about the fact that she hasn't seen her brother in two weeks. Her and Zayn were always the most similar of the Malik siblings after all.

”Hey, Wali. You wanna help me with these CDs? I'm lost, definitely.” Zayn looks around himself at the absolute mess he's made.

Waliyha grunts in annoyance, but still drags herself from the sofa onto the floor beside Zayn, starting to collect the CDs into little piles.

”Oh, Zayn love, I forgot to say, I met Josef's dad in M&S up in Bradford a couple days ago, when was it, tuesday?”

Zayn frowns slightly, already wondering where this is going.

”Anyway,” Trisha waves her hand in the air dismissively. ”Apparently Josef is studying in London now, law. I told his dad about Baba of course and we had a lovely little chat. You haven't had a run in lately?”

Zayn wrinkles his face a bit, trying to make sense of the CDs he's been holding in his hands for the past ten minutes. ”London's quite big, innit. Nah, haven't seen him since school.”

”He did use to fancy you, didn't he. Did you know?” His mother gives him a coy look. Zayn doesn't like it.

Zayn snorts slightly. ”Everybody knew, mum. He wasn't exactly subtle about it, inviting himself over all the blooming time.” He mutters the last bit, managing to remember to watch his language at the last second.

”Well, his dad showed me a picture of him on his phone, all suited up, he's gotten quite handsome over time. He was a lovely boy, wasn't he. Maybe a bit too keen at times,” Zayn raises his brows to himself, _no shit_. ”but who could blame him, you are a Malik after all.”

Waliyha snorts, taking the CDs out of Zayn's hands.

”I'm sure I could get you his number if you want, his dad made it sound like Josef wouldn't mind a bit of catching up.” Trisha's voice has that tilt to it where she kind of knows she's figthing a losing battle, but tries to fight it nonetheless.

”I'm alright, thanks,” Zayn says, looking down at a Steps CD that seems to have suddenly appeared on the floor in front of him. ”Whose is this?” He picks it up, a bemused frown on his face.

”Yours?” Waliyha shrugs, looking at the CD and then at Zayn.

Zayn frowns even deeper, looking at Waliyha like she's crazy.

”Oh come on, Zayn, why not? I'm sure he's grown up since then, gotten a little mellower with age maybe,” Trisha continues from the sofa, her soothing voice not reflecting the meaning behind her words.

”Mum,” Zayn starts.

”I know it's not really my place, but it would only be a date, wouldn't it? Then again, you barely tell me anything anymore, babe.” She looks at him with those pointed motherly eyes, and Zayn tries not to squirm under her gaze. ”You're not seeing anyone at the moment, are you?” Zayn drops his head towards the floor for a second. If she only knew.

”No, you know I'd tell you if I was,” He says, and she gives him a look. ”I would!” He pouts. ”It's not that, I just, I don't see the point of going on a date with some guy just because his dad said he was keen,” He cringes at the though. ”Besides, I barely tolerated him back then, I'm doubting now is gonna be any different. Just, no thanks, mum.” He doesn't need a boyfriend anyway, and he'd honestly love for the topic to not be brought up at all. He's been subconsciously reminding himself for long enough. He's fine on his own. Truly.

Trisha senses his discomfort immediately, of course, and leans down towards him, stroking her hand over his hair gently.

”I'm sorry, sunshine, of course you don't need to see him, or anyone for that matter. I'm just looking out for you, my lovely.” She smiles at him, and Zayn can't help but feel like he's twelve again, sitting at the dinner table with his mummy keeping him company whenever he used to come home late to have his tea after spending the day at a friends house. He is once again reminded of how much he misses her sometimes when he's by himself, her and the rest of the family, and he can't help but thank his lucky stars for them deciding on making the big move to London after all.

”I know, mum,” He smiles back, showing in his eyes how much he appreciates her, even when she's being slightly overbearing and way too inquisitive than he'd like.

Her hand moves down to stroke his cheek.

”I made Jalebi yesterday. You wanna stay for a cuppa?”

Zayn's smile grows bigger, and he nods.

 

They all keep catching up over tea and Zayn eats as much of the Jalebi as he can possibly manage, Trisha laughing at him fondly as he moans at the taste and keeps complimenting her on her cooking. Before he knows it it's 1 o'clock and a text from Louis makes his phone buzz in his pocket. The CDs have long been forgotten but Trisha has already admitted that the reason she invited him over had little to do with organizing their many books in alphabetical order, and more to do with being able to dote on her son.

He says goodbye for a long time, Trisha sending him away with a little tupperware container of treats and two small jars of chutney, fixing him up with a small, homemade goodiebag, and he is on his way at half past.

The train ride into Camden is peaceful enough. Zayn gets his headphones out, dedicating a good couple of minutes to untangle the chords and spends the ride into the city doing a bit of lazy people watching.

The gentle breeze of the late summer air greets him as he's walking out of the tube station, and as he pulls down the collar of his jacket he gets another text, from Liam this time.

_i just had a garlic smoothie. where the fuck r u_

Zayn frowns at his phone, a laugh bubbling in his throat, and starts making his way down the busy main street.

The shop itself proves to be pretty easy to find, situated on a side street a fair way past the many booths. With a sign saying ' _Can't Beet Peas On Earth!_ ' the shop stands out amongst the other ones lining the quaint little street. Getting closer, the meaning behind Liam's text clicks in Zayn's head. It's an organic shop, and quite a popular one at that judging by the way the door keeps re-opening and closing, people walking in and out making the bell ring incessantly. Zayn holds the door open for a couple heading out, giving them a polite smile before making his way inside.

He's greeted by the smell of ground almonds, a faint hint of apples and something decidedly spicier. It smells a bit like the vegetable section at Sainsbury's, and Zayn's stomach gives an undecided rumble. Two young girls are standing behind the counter, a decently long line of people leading up to it. A wide array of jars and bags line the counter and behind the girls up towards the ceiling there is a menu with a fair amount of things Zayn doesn't recognise. There's a section dedicated to different smoothies and Zayn looks around the shop, perking his ears for Louis and Liam's always very prominent voices.

As if on cue, Louis' head appears from behind a corner leading farther into the shop, and Zayn gives a wave, making Louis recognise his presence. His face lights up and he waves Zayn over enthusiastically.

”Hi mate, you get here alright?” Louis greets him with when Zayn's joined him in the aisle of what looks like the tea section of the shop.

”Yeah, yeah, it was fine. That name is quite funny, ain't it?” Zayn smiles wryly at the memory of the pun. Louis rolls his eyes, shaking his head, but smiles with him.

”Ugh, Harry's doing, of course, the little comedian.”

”Who?” Zayn frowns.

”Oh yeah, sorry, Harry. His mum owns this shop, that's why we're here.” Louis cringes lightly as they start to slowly walk down the aisle. ”They're all about living crazy healthy, which makes no sense to me since they're both quite lovely people, in my opinion.”

Zayn snorts and walks over to a little stand as the aisle ends. He picks up what looks to be a jar of tealeaves and reads the label. ”What is this, just leaves? What do you do with that?” Louis laughs at his face, reading over his shoulder and shrugging in confused agreement.

”Wait, who's Harry again?” Zayn asks, setting down the jar.

”He's an old friend, we were in the same drama class back home.” Louis smiles at the memory. ”Him and his mum just moved to the city, she's branching out, you see.”

Zayn nods along with his words.

”I don't remember you talking about him? If you've been friends for that long I must've heard you reference him.” Zayn frowns, before freezing for a bit. ”Ooh, is this little Hazza?”

Louis grins brightly.

”That's the one. Doesn't really live up to his title as much now though. I haven't seen him for ages, not since we moved here. We've kept in contact since then but we haven't really been able to catch up properly, you know how it is, life and that.”

Zayn nods again. He's seen old pictures of Louis with Harry, a little boy with a mop of curly hair, chubby cheeks and a dimpled smile. They had been pictures Louis' mum had taken of Louis and his friends from the drama class he had been in during his early teens, so Zayn had mostly spent the time going through them laughing at Louis dressed up as Danny from Grease, and his absolute favourite, the scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz. Harry had been with him in a lot of them, a smiley little thing, the both of them posing together in their costumes, one more ridiculous than the other, and Zayn holds back a snort at the memory.

”Man, we gotta look through them pictures again, that scarecrow was fucking legendary, mate.” Zayn says with a giggle.

Louis can't help but smile, while trying to put on an offended face.

”Yeah, yeah, you would've had a different reaction if you'd've been there, my performance was award-winning.”

”I'm sure it was,” Zayn grins, and sidesteps a pinch from Louis, starting a little flailing-match.

”Where's Liam?” Zayn asks when they've both calmed down.

”Him and Harry went to go look for something in the stockroom, I don't know, I heard the word 'protein' and then they were gone.” Louis shakes his head, picking up different things from the big stand in front of them and squinting at the labels. ”Oh, how was the fam by the way?”

”They're alright, mum kept nagging me about some bloke though.” Zayn mutters, the memory fresh enough to have him wrinkling his brows in annoyance now more than anything else.

”What bloke?”

Zayn shrugs dismissively, trying to forget his reaction to his mother's words now that he's with Louis. It's not a big deal unless he makes it one. ”Just this guy I went to school with who used to fancy me. Apparently he's still gagging for it, from what I gathered at least. Don't quote her on that.”

Louis guffaws and Zayn snorts at both his own words and Louis' reaction.

”Wow,” Louis says, still with laughter in his voice. ”You up for it?”

”No,” Zayn says as if just the suggestion is the most ludicrous thing he's ever heard. ”One of the most annoying people I've ever had the displeasure of knowing, bloody suck up as well, almost making mum lose all sense of judgement.”

Louis snorts, before pulling an ugly face.

“Speaking of people who are gagging for it – you've seen what's his face lately?”

Zayn rolls his eyes, a small smile on his face. He's more than happy to change the topic as quickly as possible.

“It's _Greg_. Gregory.” Zayn corrects himself.

“Greg then,” Louis says.

Zayn laughs. “He doesn't like Greg.”

“Well, I don't like him so, tough luck.” Louis scoffs.

Zayn sighs, rolling his eyes. ”Anyway, I saw him on tuesday actually, if you must know.” He says, as they keep strolling down the aisle.

Louis raises his eyebrows in question. Zayn gives him a look back. Louis curls his upper lip in slight disgust.

“Hey, if you and your boyfriend can go at it all night, loud enough for the neighbours to hear it, I can have a mate that I have fun with every once in a while.”

Louis snorts. “A mate, eh?”

“Yes, a mate.” Zayn says, looking Louis firmly in the eye.

“Are you really?”

“Well yeah, we're hardly dating, are we.” They come to a stop by the shop window.

“And that's not something that you want?” Louis searches his face for a reaction.

“No, of course not,” Zayn screws up his face. “He's a knob.”

Louis laughs. “Just checking. I still don't understand why you're still getting with him. You do see him an awful lot.”

Zayn gives him a pointed look.

Louis looks disgusted. “And I don't wanna hear it.”

Zayn breathes out a laugh at Louis' face, amused at his obvious non-approval. “It's not even that often, you can untwist your knickers, alright.”

Louis shakes his head. “I beg to differ.”

Zayn shrugs. “So what, anyway? It's just a bit of fun.”

“He's fucking rude.”

“He's just joking around.”

Louis shakes his head, still with that look on his face.

“Yeah, well, don't have him come joking around at our place.”

“Hasn't happened yet has it? Don't worry, you and Liam can fuck in peace.”

Louis grins at that. “Did you hear us last night?” He asks, decidedly less apologetic than Liam had been earlier this morning.

“The whole fucking building probably heard you. At least I'm respectful of my surroundings when I get mine.” Zayn leans back against the window, crossing his arms.

Louis shrugs, still grinning.

“Lou?” Liam's voice travels through the shop. Zayn raises his eyebrows at Louis.

“We're over here!” Louis raises his voice a bit so Liam can hear him properly.

“'Speak of the devil', I was gonna say,” Zayn starts. “But it sounded more like God last night, if I'm quoting you correctly.”

“By the-” Louis manages to get out before he snorts wildly. Zayn grins at his own joke.

“Where are you?” Liam's voice comes again, a bit closer this time.

“By the blenders!” Zayn calls over Louis who's still laughing by the time Liam shows up from another aisle next to them.

“Hi mate!” Liam looks quite hyped and Zayn grins back at him, his excitement contagious as usual.

“Look at this,” He shows Zayn what he's got in his hands. They're a couple of fairly big satchets with different fruits on them, big letters talking about hydration staring up at him.

“Look,” Liam shows him the packets. “It's like a powder, look. You blend it with water and it's like, really good for you, Harry said. I'm gonna have it after the gym, you know I'm always half-dead after a workout, this'll help with that, I think, well, Harry said anyway.”

Zayn nods along, trying to look as interested as possible, even though Liam's gym-talk, or anything to do with fitness, always sounds like Greek to him.

“I'm just gonna go pay for this, Harry's meeting us at Waga's by the way, he needed to unpack one last box.” Liam says to Louis before heading in the direction of the till, Louis nodding at his words.

“They've met on Skype,” Louis says as they slowly start walking after Liam. “Both absolute gym-rats, so there's no worries about the two of them not getting along. Anyway, lunch? I could kill for some noodles.”

\--

It's almost 3 pm on a sunday so the Wagamama in Camden Town is fairly busy, but they manage to snag a table in the back after waiting for a couple minutes.

”Should we just order while we wait for him?” Louis says as they take off their coats. ”Harry'll have what I'm having,” He continues as if he's repeated the sentence more than a couple times in his life.

The waiter comes over after a while to take their orders, Liam looking down at the menu with a troubled face.

”Ah, I hate this bit,” He says, mostly to himself.

Liam ends up ordering the same things he always has, Zayn laughing as usual at his predictability. The two of them get up to go to the loo, Louis staying to wait for Harry to show up.

When they walk back to the table there's another person sitting opposite Louis. His back is turned, but from what Zayn can see he's got long brown hair hanging over a set of broad shoulders. Him and Louis seem to be in deep conversation, but as Liam and Zayn get closer Louis looks up and smiles brightly at them in greeting. The other person turns around in his seat to check who Louis is looking at, and Zayn's eyebrows raise involuntarily in interest.

”That was quick, I hope you washed your hands” Louis remarks, making Zayn and Liam roll their eyes. ”Zayn, this is Harry. Harry, this is the love of my life, Zayn Malik.”

Liam makes an offended sound, sitting down, and Louis pulls him in for a kiss, grinning at his boyfriend.

Zayn chuckles and moves to sit in the empty seat beside Harry. Harry grins at the exchange before turning to Zayn, extending his hand.

”It's lovely to meet you, Zayn. Louis has spoken very highly of you.”

He's smiling at Zayn, his gaze firm but friendly. His dimples are still very prominent, but there's a jawline present that definitely hadn't made an appearance yet in Louis' old pictures. Zayn takes his hand, sneaking a glance down. It's large and warm, and Zayn tips an imaginary hat in his head to puberty. Little Hazza certainly isn't very little anymore, Zayn thinks, while giving Harry what he hopes is a discreet once over. He chuckles lightly again.

“I'm sure he has,” An offended 'what?' is heard from across the table and Harry's grin widens. “It's lovely to meet you too.” Zayn smiles back at him, trying not to stare too obviously at Harry's arms stretching his shirt. A weird tension settles between them, not uncomfortable but definitely slightly loaded as they keep eye contact, still smiling at each other in greeting, and Zayn clears his throat a bit, feeling awkward but still with a genuine smile on his face. Harry seems to catch himself and breaks the eye contact. He looks down just so he's not staring at Zayn's face anymore and his gaze settles on his mandala tattoo.

“I like your tattoos, that one's sick,” He says, nodding at Zayn's left hand.

“Thank you,” Zayn smiles, looking down as well.

“Most tattoos are though, aren't they, when compared to yours,” Louis pipes up from across the table, him and Liam having watched the exchange with curious eyes, and Harry gives him a frown, pouting cutely. A friendly argument about the ridiculousness of Harry's tattoos is started, Harry going in on Louis' own eclectic collection, making Liam hum in agreement and Louis look at his boyfriend in betrayal while Zayn sneaks a few glances at Harry's profile from the corner of his eye. He catches Liam's eyes while Harry and Louis keep up their heated debate and Liam just smiles and shakes his head at the two of them.

Their food arrives and Louis and Harry manage to stay on the topic. It seems like a conversation that they've had before and Zayn just looks on in amusement. Liam keeps an arm on the back of Louis' chair as he eats, filling in on the conversation with a comment or two in Harry's defense. It turns out Zayn and Harry actually have a few matching tattoos, the Dark Side of the Moon symbol for instance, which makes Harry light up and start a conversation about the album itself which Zayn gladly accepts. When he lifts up his shirt to show Harry the heart on his hip Harry stares for a second too long before he compliments him on it and shows the matching one on his arm, and Zayn feels a little tingle in his stomach. It's been a while since he's indulged in conversation with a fit boy – and Harry is very fit indeed. He realises that his arrangement with Greg has made him a bit complacent, he hasn't given it much thought but now that he thinks about it he hasn't really been attempting to even casually flirt with guys lately, and sitting with Harry who's giving him his full attention - when he's not trying to fend off Louis and Liam's teasing comments – makes him miss going on dates and flirting with boys, and having them look at him like they want to take him home. The way Harry looks at him doesn't really say as much, but he has those eyes that when he looks at you, they make you feel like you're the only person in the room, and Zayn finds himself quite enjoying the feeling.

During the meal Zayn learns that Harry is a music student, and works part time at his mum's shop. Unlike Louis, he gave up acting a long time ago, but when Zayn mentions the The Wizard of Oz production, his eyes light up.

“Did you know my mum actually made me that costume?” He asks, turning to Zayn. “A whole week she dedicated to that, bless her.”

“She did a great job, you did make a very cute lion.” Zayn says, fishing up some noodles from his bowl and trying not to smile at Harry attempting not to preen at the comment.

Louis snorts from across the table. “Our little Hazza, still made for the role, even though you've glown up like nobody else. Wouldn't need the costume now though, would you. When's the last time you cut your hair, 1996?”

Harry just laughs. “I have missed you, bro. I'm so glad to be here in London with you, it's gonna be just like old times, eh? Come here, mate,” He reaches over the table, his arms long enough to try and pull Louis into the most awkward hug.

Louis swats at his attempts while Zayn and Liam laugh and Liam pushes him into the hug even more.

“Alright, alright, I love you too, get off me you fucking gorilla.” Louis splutters through a mouthful of hair, and Harry cackles as he sits back down again.

“You free on Friday then?” Louis asks as the laugter dies down. “Star Wars at The Odeon. Zayn?”

Zayn nods, and Harry watches him before looking back at Louis' questioning eyes, nodding as well. “Definitely, dying to see it.”

“Lovely,” Louis grins and looks over at Liam. “Everybody finished?”

 

They decide to take a stroll through the market, stopping by the booths to look at the bits and bobs that are on sale. Louis and Liam stop at a booth selling wooden phonecases that they've both apparently been wanting to get for themselves, and Harry and Zayn stand back a bit as the two of them look around at the different designs.

“So, Louis said you work at a restaurant?” Harry asks as they move to lean back against the stone wall overlooking the river.

“Mhm, well, part time anyway,” Zayn answers, resting his elbows back on the wall's edge.

“That's cool, which restaurant?” Harry looks genuinely interested for some reason.

“Uhm, Jamie's Italian?” Zayn says, a bit unsure of where the conversation is going.

Harry's face lights up. “Oh, I love that place! Their coleslaw is to die for, honestly.” He says, a sharp movement of his hand emphasising his point. Zayn laughs a bit.

“Can't argue with that,” He says looking back at the crowd in front of them, feeling Harry's gaze on the side of his face.

“I might have to come by then, get a free steak, yeah?” Harry grins.

Zayn chuckles, looking back at him. “Yeah, definitely, I'll have Jamie fix you up.”

“Have you met him?” Harry's eyes widen in excitement.

“Nah, sorry. He does come in sometimes though, I must be working the wrong hours.” He turns his body towards Harry, one arm still on the wall.

“Oh, well, that's cool anyway, it's one of my favourite's actually, been there a few times, whenever I've been down here. Great service,” He smiles a dimpled smile at Zayn, the wind by the river blowing his curls in his face a little bit.

Zayn looks at him in bemusement. If it had been anyone else Zayn would've thought they were taking the piss, but Harry's excitement seems so genuine and it's weird to Zayn. He likes his job well enough, he's got great coworkers, and the atmosphere of the restaurant is a pretty good one to work in, but it's nothing fancy by any means. Greg certainly doesn't think so, he makes sure to let Zayn know whenever the topic is brought up, but Zayn usually just shrugs it off before they fall into bed together, or whatever surface is most available. He's not really used to someone showing such sincere interest about it, and he smiles back at Harry, still with a weird little look on his face.

“You must not have been working those nights though, I definitely would've remembered seeing you there,” Harry says, still smiling, his eyes fixed firmly on Zayn's. It's a friendly smile, but something in Zayn senses a hidden undertone in the way Harry looks at him. He bites back a smile himself and turns back to look at Louis and Liam debating over the cases in their hands.

“Well, it's a busy place, innit. Could've missed me quite easily, I'm sure.”

Harry wrinkles his face a bit, shaking his head. “Don't think so. Tell me when you're working next and I'll come down to make a proper review. I'll tell your manager about your great serving skills and you'll fix me up with a doggy bag of that coleslaw, deal?”

Zayn laughs. “Deal.”

 

As Harry's walking them back to the tubestation, Zayn's phone buzzes in his pocket. He continues the conversation with Louis about how rehearsals are going while fishing it out to have a look. Louis looks as well, of course, and makes a face when he sees who the text is from.

“Should we not expect you home for dinner then?” He asks as they all stop by the entrance to the underground, not hiding the judgment in his eyes as he looks at Zayn. Zayn rolls his eyes, looking over the text.

“Well, I'm working late tomorrow anyway.” Zayn shrugs, deciding that a trip over to Greg's seems like a pretty decent way to end a sunday afternoon. “He's going overseas for a bit apparently, might as well.” He says, shrugging again as he puts the phone back in his pocket.

Louis sighs deeply. “Hoes before bros then, I guess is how it is.” He pulls Zayn in for a hug. “Happy shagging.”

Zayn laughs before hugging Liam as well, and then turns to Harry, who breaks out into a friendly smile when he sees Zayn looking at him, letting the tight-lipped face he was sporting before fade away.

“It was lovely meeting you, Harry,” Zayn smiles at him, not really sure what the proper 'goodbye'-etiquette for this situation would be.

Harry makes the decision for him, moving in for a hug, which Zayn quickly reciprocates. Harry's arms feel firm and strong around him, and that same tingle flows through Zayn's stomach once again.

“You too,” Harry says after letting him go. “I'll see you around?” He looks at him expectantly, still with that smile on his face.

Zayn quickly nods. “Yeah, yeah,” He turns so he's facing them all. “Friday, was it?”

Louis nods, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, we'll see each other before then, now go on then, go have sex.”He says, a bit too loudly for Zayn's liking. He settles with punching Louis in the arm, gives Liam a fistbump and Harry a smile before turning and walking down the street. He always did prefer taking a taxi, and if he can avoid having to venture down into the underground, he will.

\--

Greg lives in a fairly fancy place in central London. His flat is big, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, all of which the two of them have had sex in.

He opens the door within seconds of Zayn ringing the bell, giving his trademark smirk at seeing him standing on his doorstep.

“Hey, sexy. I'm glad you could make it,” He drawls before standing aside to let Zayn in.

“Wasn't really doing much anyway, and I was in the neighbourhood.” Zayn shrugs off his jacket, and kicks off his shoes, putting them away neatly with a sigh after Greg gives him a look.

“Good boy,” He says nodding at Zayn. “Come on then, I've got two hours before I need to go into work.” He heads up the stairs, and Zayn rolls his eyes at his back before following.

 

Zayn watches from the bed in one of Greg's guestrooms as Greg gets dressed in a three piece suit. He pulls the covers up to his chest, giving a yawn, making Greg turn away from the mirror above his dresser to look at him.

“You'll let yourself out?” He says while he buttons his shirt. It comes out as more of a statement than a question, but Zayn nods anyway. They've been at this for long enough that Greg has entrusted Zayn with being left alone in his flat, which works out quite well, since Zayn tends to get a bit lazy after sex, and Greg's bed sheets are some of the softest he's ever felt.

“Thought you didn't have work today,” Zayn says, turning on his side and putting a hand beneath his cheek on the pillow. “It's a sunday.”

Greg smirks into the mirror, fixing his tie.

“Well, you know some of us can't just spend the days lying around in bed. The world isn't gonna spin itself.”

Zayn wrinkles his forehead.

“By the way, I talked to your dad the other day. He complimented me on my work, said the way I'd handled the Perkins' case was immaculately done in his eyes,” He keeps smiling at himself.

Zayn pulls a little face behind his back.

The fact that Greg and his dad works at the same firm doesn't make him feel anymore proud of their arrangement. That's how they met, in the toilets near Yaser's office, romantically enough. Although nothing about their relationship really is after all, if you can even label it as that. Greg had been very keen, and Zayn at the time hadn't really seen a problem with hooking up with a fit, older bloke. Somehow it got to be a regular thing, and Zayn never really saw himself as the kind of person with a fuck buddy, but the time spent with Greg went by fast enough for him not to notice the sudden little change in his life.

It's been about three months, and Zayn honestly can't see the downside of getting casual sex pretty much anytime he wants it – Greg likes to think he's calling all the shots, but if Zayn were to wake up at 2 am on a work night and feeling in the mood, Greg would have a taxi sent to his place within twenty minutes – and getting to enjoy a bit of Greg's wealth and luxurious lifestyle (the egyptian silk sheets in Greg's bedrooms really are something else) is just the icing on the cake. Zayn's never been a stranger to flighty hook ups and one night stands (Louis' used the word 'slag' in the past, always very lovingly, and always resulting in receiving a punch in the shoulder in return), but they're always pretty awkward, and he's never been too good at playing the social game that is required for the aftermath of a wild night of impulsive passion, so having something stable like this, that at the same time leaves him free to do whatever he wants is pretty much ideal. Greg might be a bit of a knobhead, but the honestly great sex makes up for it, mostly. Maybe all the people waxing poetically about fuck buddies were onto something.

Greg puts on his jacket, pulling the lapels into place, and turns to walk over to Zayn.

“I leave on Thursday. You free on Wednesday night?”

Zayn gives a lazy half shrug.

“I'll have to check my schedule, won't I.”

Greg huffs out a laugh. It sounds mocking, but Zayn chooses not to notice it.

“Feel free to grab something from the fridge before you go, you've been looking a bit peaky lately.” He leans down to run a finger over Zayn's cheekbone. Zayn looks up at him tiredly, his exhaustion both physical and mental. He's heard these kinds of things before too many times already, it's started not to really faze him anymore, but it still makes him want to sigh and roll his eyes. He settles for biting at Greg's thumb sharply, while still making it seem playful, as Greg drags it over his bottom lip. Greg chuckles.

“See you later, kitten.” He pats him on the nose with a finger, before turning and leaving the room. Zayn listens to him walking down the stairs and gathering up his things before hearing the door slam shut and the keys rustle as he locks up the flat. Zayn lets out a big sigh as the flat goes quiet, turning on his back and looking up at the ceiling.

He scratches his belly, contemplating taking advantage of Greg's oh so generous offer of food, before he catches himself and scoffs in irritation. Fucking idiot. Zayn is reminded of Louis' obvious and apologetic dislike of the man and shakes his head a bit, sighing again. Louis' got a valid point, Greg is kind of a dickhead, and Zayn's asked himself many times why he insists on putting up with the sly little digs Greg tends to throw at him sometimes. He always ends up shrugging it off, deciding that the good outweighs the bad. Zayn and Greg are not boyfriends, which means he has the option to come and go as he pleases, something he is most grateful for. And Greg is good enough in the sack for Zayn to be able to turn his hearing off whenever Greg decides he wants to say some stupid shit about Zayn's job, his habits or his physical appearance. It's almost as if Greg just wants something to nag about sometimes, because he certainly doesn't seem to have any issues with any part of Zayn's body when it's layed out naked in front of him. If Zayn was someone who already suffered quite badly from body image issues, the relationship might not be ideal. But as it is, Zayn can deal with a bit of insensitive ribbing if it means a very satisfying orgasm is always but a phonecall away. After all, he's never had any complaints in the past.

A buzzing noise startles him, pulling him out of his thoughts. He lifts his head up to look in the direction of the sound. His jeans lie discarded on the floor near the bed and he sits up, crawling over to the edge to reach for them. Zayn lays on his stomach, hoisted up on his elbows and looks at his phone after dropping his jeans back onto the floor. It buzzes again as he's holding it and he opens up the two texts from Liam. The first one is a picture of a tall glass of what seems like some weird, murky water. Zayn is confused for a second before he looks at the second picture, of Liam's hand doing a thumbs up in front of one of the satchets he got from the shop that's lying on the kitchen counter.

' _Buzzin_ ', the caption reads, and Zayn snorts, shaking his head fondly.

' _Looks yummy_ ', he sends back, along with a sarcastic thumbs up, even though Liam is probably too excited to care or notice. He starts to play with his phone, checking his notifications while resting his chin in one hand. Liam's texts has him thinking about the organic shop, which in turn leads him onto thoughts of Harry. The little boy in Louis' old pictures turned out to now be only a distant memory, and Zayn finds himself biting his lip as his mind drifts back to Harry in his tight button down shirt that did nothing to hide his – from the looks of it – quite excellent physique. He breathes out a little chuckle, scrolling mindlessly through twitter, still gnawing lightly on his bottom lip. Little Hazza, who would've thought. Even though he'd changed in appearance since the theater days, the brightness of his smile was still the same, the cheekiness in it proving to reflect his personality very well. Zayn could see why Louis would want to keep him close still, after all these years. He seemed like a lovely person, and Zayn is honestly looking forward to getting to know him better.

His stomach suddenly gives a loud grumble and he looks down at it with a frown. Traitor. He sighs once again, lazily heaving himself up and off of the bed. At least he can send Greg a silent 'fuck off' by truly taking him up on that offer, he thinks as he pulls his jeans up over his bum. _You want me to raid your fridge, I'll fucking raid your fucking fridge._

\--

Zayn steps out of the flat, pulling the door closed behind himself with the hand that isn't holding two decently sized plastic bags of food, along with the little paper one with his mum's chutney. He listens for the click of the door locking itself before making his way down the stone steps and out on the pavement. He shifts one bag to his free hand, making the weight more even on his shoulders. They feel heavy in his hands and he smirks evilly, a giddy laugh bubbling in his throat. That'll teach him. Knob.

\--

The flat is empty when Zayn gets home, and after sending a quick text to Louis he finds out that him and Liam decided to go out for dinner, meaning that Zayn will most likely have the flat to himself for the night and the unforseeable future.He loves them both to death, but getting some proper alone time now and again is never an unwelcome prospect. Liam has pretty much moved in since Louis and him got together, for real, almost five months ago, even though he still has his own little place, about a twenty minute walk away. It's used for their loud sexcapades more than anything at this point, and Zayn still prays on a regular basis for the situation that they all have going for them right now not to change. Liam and Louis as a couple are a joy to be around, but Zayn does need his beauty sleep.

He loads the fridge with everything in the bags and puts Liam's forgotten empty glass in the sink. A takeout and movie it is then.

\--

The following week goes by in a rush. Zayn works his regular schedule at the restaurant from monday to thursday, coming home around midnight every night and maybe managing to exchange a few words at most with Liam and Louis before crashing in bed and sleeping till noon.

He meets up with Greg again on wednesday, waking up a couple hours earlier to squeeze in a quick fuck before work. And quick it is indeed, Greg appearing to care less about Zayn getting to come or not by the way he's thrusting almost mechanically in a fast pace, racing towards his own climax with little regard to what's going on around or below him. He's gotten a bit selfish in bed lately, Zayn has started to notice, but he's too tired to be bothered to bring it up as he's laying there, and he's honestly still a bit sleepy, having missed out on a few valuable hours of sleep. He gets himself there in the end, and is left with a slightly disappointing sense of pleasure that makes him frown a bit after it's over. Greg seems more than happy, panting heavily in Zayn's ear as he's coming down, telling him how good he was as Zayn wipes his hand on Greg's silk sheets, half listening to him, trying not to get too annoyed at the heavy breathing on his neck. Greg is too gone to notice the fresh come stain on his sheets and Zayn doesn't have the time nor the will to stay around for him to finally do, so he gets out of bed as quickly as he can, putting on his clothes and telling Greg to have a good time in America before he's out the door, Greg just barely managing to inform him on when he'll be back. The whole exchange leaves Zayn feeling very unsatisfied, a bit unusually so, and he almost feels himself regretting going in the first place. He arrives to work that night in a grumpy mood, and promises himself to sleep a few extra hours the following day.

As it happens, he wakes up around midday on friday, snoozing in bed and feeling great about not having to work for two whole days. Louis once again spent the night at Liam's so he can fully enjoy waking up to peace and quiet, the people and cars going by outside his window serving as a lovely and familiar ambience, slowly pulling into complete consciousness.

He manages to drag himself into the kitchen by 2 o'clock after having dozed for a while, his stomach grumbling incessantly for some food. As he's putting the kettle on, his phone starts ringing in his bedroom, and he makes an annoyed sound at himself for forgetting to bring it with him. He jogs back into his room just in time to answer it before it stops ringing, not bothering to check the caller ID.

“Yeah?” He says, a bit breathlessly for putting in any sort of physical exertion before breakfast.

“Are you at Greg's?” Comes Louis' voice at the other end of the line.

“Gregory's,” Zayn says on pure instinct before Louis' words register fully. “What? No?” He frowns, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Oh, you sounded a bit out of breath,” Louis says. “Were you wanking?” He asks after a seconds pause.

Zayn rolls his eyes. “I didn't have my phone with me so I had to run. You're lucky to be speaking to me right now, to be honest.”

Louis scoffs. “Alright, your highness, should we expect you arriving in a chariot to the cinema later?”

Oh right, Zayn thinks. Friday.

“When does it start?” He asks, running a hand through his hair, silently reminding himself to shower and wash it before he leaves.

“Liam booked tickets for the 7 o'clock showing, so you've got plenty of time to finish yourself off.”

Zayn huffs out a sigh. “I wasn't- whatever,” He's had too little caffeine to be bothered with trying to make Louis be less annoying at the moment. “Meet you there at half seven?”

“Sure, mate, we'll meet you inside. Now go have some coffee, you sound miserable. And don't forget to moisturise when you're done!”

Zayn hangs up the phone.

\--

Friday night is always a busy one, and Zayn doesn't manage to snag a seat on the tube into Leicester Square. After having lived in the city for so long, he's managed to perfect the art of worming his way in and out of large crowds as gracefully as possible. It's always easy to recognise the people who are only passing through as visitors by the slow pace of their steps and their general look of confusion and bewilderment as they try to navigate through the underground without being trampled on. He reaches the Odeon a couple minutes late, to no one's surprise, sending a text to Louis to say that he's arrived. Looking up from his phone he spots a flurry of curly hair in the corner of his eye, making him turn to look properly. Even after only having met him once, Harry isn't an easy person to miss in a crowd and Zayn walks over to where he's standing by himself by the toilets in the busy lounge area of the cinema, looking down at something on his phone.

“Hey,” Zayn says when he gets close enough, smiling at Harry in greeting.

Harry looks up from his phone in the direction of Zayn's voice, his eyes big and making him look slightly like a deer in the headlights before he sees who it is. A big smile spreads quickly across his face, and once again Zayn's eyes can't help but land on the dimples in his cheeks. He looks very boyish when he smiles like that, and quite cute really, if Zayn is completely honest with himself. His own smile gets bigger in return, and he tries a bit too hard to keep himself from reaching over and pinching Harry's cheeks.

“Hi!” Harry says, standing up straight as Zayn comes to a stop in front of him. For a second the moment reaches a standstill before Zayn takes the situation into his own hands and pulls his hands out of his jacket pockets to lean in for a hug. Zayn manages to see Harry's smile get even bigger, if possible, before he's enveloped in a warm hug, getting a bit of Harry's hair in his face as Harry pulls him in properly. It smells nice, in fact all of Harry does, and they're both still smiling widely as they part after the friendly gesture.

“It's nice to see you again,” Harry says, still smiling brightly at Zayn, putting his phone back in his back pocket.

“Yeah, you too,” Zayn grins. “You been here long?” He asks, looking around quickly at the crowded lounge area.

“Nah, about ten minutes maybe?” He shrugs. “Louis and Liam are in the toilet. I thought I'd wait here in case you showed up while they were in there.” He puts his hands in his jacket pockets, shrugging in a way that makes Zayn want to pull him in for another hug.

“Oh, alright, thanks mate,” Zayn says, mimicking Harry's stance.

The corners of Harry's mouth twitch a little and his eyes seem to light up a bit at Zayn's words, and Zayn's smile gets warmer.

“You got the tickets yet?” He asks, standing a little closer next to Harry so they're both facing towards the center of the lounge.

“Yeah, we were just waiting for you to get here before we bought any sweets and stuff.”

Zayn chuckles at that. It's a known tradition between him and Louis to always share a Blockbuster Combo between them whenever they go to the cinema. A large popcorn (salted), a large helping of bacon snacks, and two large drinks. For two fairly scrawny guys, they sure can eat.

“This must be a nightmare for you, so much sugar and fat in one place?” Zayn says teasingly.

Harry frowns for a second before he realises that Zayn's taking the piss.

“I don't know what Louis's told you, but I'm not that much of a health freak really. It's mostly mum. I mean I do enjoy eating well and making sure I get all my daily nutrients and that, but, I can get down and dirty if I want to.” He says, putting on a face of defiance after his little ramble.

Zayn raises his eyebrows, smiling in amusement.

“Are we still talking about junk food?” He winks at Harry, and Harry's body language deflates a bit as he laughs at his own words.

He shrugs cheekily. “Maybe just a popcorn would be safest for now.”

Zayn huffs out a laugh, looking at Harry in slight interest as Harry looks out at the people around them.

“So, how was your d-” Harry manages to get out before Louis' voice yells out in greeting from behind them, both of them turning simultaneously at the noise.

 

Louis and Zayn order their usual snacks combo, while Harry and Liam both settle for the standard popcorn and fizzy drink. Liam hands out the tickets and they make their way to the right screen.

Louis and Zayn get to sit in the middle because of their food situation so Harry ends up sitting on Zayn's right side while Liam sits next to Louis on the other end.

Zayn gets comfortable in his seat, taking his boots off as usual and faking that he's disgusted when Louis does the same. Louis pinches his thigh and he yelps, moving closer to Harry by mistake, bumping their shoulders together.

“Oh, sorry,” He laughs a bit, awkwardly settling back in his seat. Harry just smiles in amusement at the whole scene, furrowing his brow at their behaviour.

“No worries,” He says quickly when Zayn apologises, giving him that friendly little smile. Zayn mimicks him and looks down at his lap and then at Louis and Liam talking amongst themselves about the movie that's about to start.

Harry is flicking through one of the movie magazines that the cinema gives away for free and Zayn takes a peek over his shoulder at what he's reading – an article about the making of the new Star Wars movie they're about to watch.

“So, are you a Star Wars fan then?” Zayn asks him quietly, almost regretting it instantly, realising that Harry might get annoyed at being interrupted while he's reading.

Harry just turns to him with bright eyes at his question.

“Yeah, big fan! My dad made me watch the old ones when I was little, and then we went to see episode one to three at the cinema when they came out. Always loved them, such classics, aren't they?”

Zayn smiles at his excitement, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah, same,” He says, before grinning a bit shyly. “I used to have a poster of Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan in my room when I was like, fourteen. I think that's one of the ways my mum managed to figure out my preferences before I did.” He laughs a bit at the memory, before realising what he's just admitted. He's never been ashamed in the least of his sexual orientation, and granted, the fact that Harry is friends with Louis must mean that he doesn't have a problem with that sort of thing either, but for some reason Zayn finds himself feeling a little cautious after making it so obvious. Harry did look a bit uneasy after Louis made it so very public that Zayn was going off to shag some bloke, but then again, there was still a chance that he might not have heard the whole exchange. Zayn on the other hand has thought that he felt the certain vibes off Harry after talking with him a couple times, but after all, he's been very wrong in the past.

Harry's smile turns into something like recognition.

“I had a massive one of Orlando Bloom as Legolas over my bed. I think my mum must have suspected it from day one to be honest.” He gives Zayn a little half grin, waggling his eyebrows slightly, and Zayn grins back at the confession. It's not much but he instantly feels himself relaxing, and he burrows himself further into his seat on instinct.

“Yeah? I was always more of an Aragorn guy, I think. Love a man who knows how to handle his sword properly.”

Harry snorts suddenly, his cheeks reddening a bit, and Zayn grins at the sight.

“Yeah, I feel that,” He laughs, looking down at the magazine again. “Those are my favourite movies, I think.” He says, looking up at Zayn again with a small smile, the redness of his cheeks having faded a bit.

“Of all time?” Zayn raises his eyebrows.

“Of _all time_ ,” Harry says, closing his eyes while nodding his head to emphasise his words.

“Fair enough,” Zayn says. “I haven't seen them in ages actually, now that I think about it.”

Harry raises his eyebrows in slight shock.

“You should urgently do something about that.” He says, still with his brows high on his forehead.

Zayn smiles at his expression, shrugging a bit. “I probably should. Maybe-”

“Hey, it's starting!” Louis hisses excitedly as the lights start to dim, and Zayn and Harry look at him before smiling at each other and turning towards the screen.

 

The movie proves to be a success, and they all start chattering about it animatedly from the moment they step out of the auditorium. Zayn honestly loved it, but settles for throwing in a few comments about how good John Boyega looked throughout the whole movie. Louis shoves him in the end, commenting on his obvious thirsting and Zayn laughs, keeping the act up from then on just to annoy Louis.

They stay inside the Odeon for a bit just talking, before Liam comes up with the brilliant idea of going out for a couple of drinks, what with it being Friday and all. Louis agrees immediately and Zayn can't really see anything wrong with going out to let loose for a bit, he has Saturday off as well after all. Harry seems keen too so they leave the theater and walk across Leicester Square to the collection of clubs and bars on the other side.

They choose a place that Zayn, Liam and Louis have been before, a nice little club with a fancy interior and decently priced drinks.

Louis drags Harry along with him to the bar, going to order for Liam, and Harry manages to turn to Zayn to take his order, to which Zayn smiles brightly before telling him what he'd like. He yells a thank you at Harry as he and Louis make their way to the bar, and Harry throws a grin over his shoulder, giving Zayn a thumbs up.

“He's lovely, isn't he?” Zayn says, looking after Harry fondly, almost pouting at Harry's politeness.

Liam smiles in agreement as they settle down at a table not far from the bar, partially hidden by one of the pillars that are dotted around the club.

“I know, I really like him. I thought he'd be different from the way Louis' talked about him, he almost made it sound like Harry was still a fourteen year old boy at times,” Liam laughs a bit. “He must've been confusing Harry with one of his siblings, although they do have that kind of older and younger brother sort of vibe, don't they, annoying little devils when they want to be. Which I'm very grateful for, to be honest, because Harry is certainly not bad to look at these days.” Liam sounds more impressed than like he's lusting at all, looking at Louis and Harry talking animatedly with each other at the bar.

“I agree,” Zayn says, copying Liam's gaze, looking Harry up and down as he's standing there, leaning against the bar and laughing at something Louis' saying. He is definitely one of the fittest guys Zayn has come across, he admits to himself, while looking at Harry's long legs in those tight jeans that look almost like the've been spraypainted on him.

“He your type then?” Liam asks, making Zayn turn towards him and seeing his teasing little grin.

Zayn huffs out a laugh.

“Think he's one of those people who's everybody's type, if we're going on looks alone. Did you know he's into guys?”

Liam nods. “Yeah, apparently Lou played a big part in his sexual awakening.” Liam rolls his eyes fondly.

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “What, you mean...?” He asks tentatively in suprise.

“Oh! No, no,” Liam says, shaking his head and furrowing his brows. “Those two have always been like brothers, Louis would've told me if they were ever...more.” He says, looking at Zayn with a calm trust in his eyes.

“Oh, ok,” Zayn nods his head slowly.

“Besides, I don't think they would work so well together, I would never have guessed them to even be friends, they're so different.” Liam laughs a bit, looking back. “But they've stuck together so far, I think they'll always want each other around, it just works I guess.” He looks at the two of them, a small smile on his lips. Zayn does the same, managing to catch Harry lean over the bar and giving the bartender their orders. He fails to try not to notice the way Harry's shirt stretches over his broad shoulders, and he looks down at his hands on the table instead, smiling and shaking his head at himself.

“So're you gonna go for it then?” Liam asks loudly with no shame at all, grinning teasingly as Zayn's head snaps up to look at him.

Zayn snorts at him, rolling his eyes.

“Nah, I'm good. Would be a bit weird, wouldn't it? Louis'd probably give me a beating.” He laughs a bit.

Liam frowns at him, smiling still and shrugging his shoulders. “Why?”

Zayn shrugs lightly.

“I don't know, you said they were brothers, weren't they? That would be breaking the code.” Zayn makes a sound in the corner of his mouth, and Liam rolls his eyes.

“I don't think he'd care, he's been dying for you to meet someone since you started seeing Gregory.”

Zayn frowns a bit. “Meet someone? This isn't a set-up, is it?” He narrows his eyes.

Liam frowns. “What? No,” He sighs. “I'm just saying, I don't think he would mind. So long as you don't just shag him and then make it awkward for the rest of us.” He laughs at Zayn's offended face.

Zayn shoves at him. “Oh shut up you, I would never do that.”

“I know, I'm just messing.” Liam smiles at him.

“Anyway, I barely know the guy, so you can put your little arrows back in your quiver.” Zayn says firmly, shaking his head at Liam.

Liam snorts and furrows his brows at Zayn's words.

“Hey, I'll spit in all of your drinks, alright, just watch me.” Zayn says, and Liam lets out a proper laugh just as Harry and Louis are approaching the table.

Harry's carrying both of his and Zayn's drinks in one hand and a basket of cheesy nachos in the other. Zayn can't help but notice how Harry's long fingers wrap around both glasses and he quickly looks up at Harry's face, smiling in thanks as Harry sets it all down in front of him on the table.

“Thank you so much,” He says, smiling as Harry sets his drink down carefully.

Harry smiles back. “No worries, it looks really good actually.” He says, taking the seat next to Zayn.

“It is, you wanna taste it?” Zayn says, moving the glass of whiskey and coke closer to Harry, holding the straw in his direction.

“Uhm, yeah sure,” Harry smiles, leaning down to sip instead of taking the glass himself. Zayn watches his cheeks hollow a bit and quickly looks up again, managing to catch Liam's eyes over the table. Liam smirks wildly at him and Zayn narrows his eyes and shakes his head.

“That's really nice,” Harry nods, licking his lips after tasting Zayn's drink. “Well mixed, might have me one of those after this one.” He gestures down to the Long Island Iced Tea he's gripping with one hand. “You wanna taste?”

Zayn's had the Long Island Iced Tea at this place before so he knows it's good but he leans down to sip from Harry's drink anyway. He licks his lips when he's straightened up in his seat again, looking down at the glass and nodding. “It's good,” He says, looking back up into Harry's eyes. They're are a bit wider than they were before, before he seems to catch himself and smiles, looking down at the table and reaching for a nacho as if he's just remembering that they're there.

Louis raises his eyebrows across the table, almost frowning a bit while looking to Liam, who's just about hiding a snort behind his bottle of Corona.

“How are you still hungry after all of that popcorn?” He says instead, looking at Harry popping a couple nachos in his mouth.

Harry shrugs. “I'm a hungry boy. I came straight from the gym you know, I need to fill up.”

Liam's eyes light up slightly.

“Oh yeah, we're still on for tomorrow?” He asks.

Harry nods brightly. “Yeah, mate, twelve o'clock?”

“Sounds ace.” Liam raises a fist to Harry who bumps his own against it.

Louis frowns and shakes his head. “Crazy, the both of you.”

“How often do you work out then?” Zayn asks interested.

“Uhm,” Harry frowns to himself. “I don't know, I try to go about four times a week but, I've been slacking a bit lately. I've been twice this week already so I think I'm getting there though, slowly but surely.”

Zayn's eyebrows raise on his forehead. “That's quite impressive. I don't think I've been to the gym for like, a year.” He laughs at himself.

“You could come along if you want? Tomorrow, or sometime next week? It's a great gym, to be honest, great atmosphere.” He looks to Liam who nods in agreement.

“Uh, yeah, nah, I think I'm good. Our buildings got a lift, luckily.” He laughs a bit, and Louis joins in, reaching for a nacho.

Harry smiles at him. “Well, alright. We're probably just gonna be lifting tomorrow anyway, might be a bit boring.” He shrugs casually, and Zayn tries desperately to wave away the image of Harry lifting weights in the gym, as Louis starts squeezing his boyfriend's biceps teasingly, talking about how fit he is and making Liam squirm away while laughing.

 

Harry insists on going to order for the second round as well, despite Zayn's protests.

“It's alright, I'm closer anyway,” He says while standing up, nodding his head at the way his seat is about two feet closer to the bar, and Zayn frowns wildly, raising a hand at the ridiculous argument.

“Just a Corona then!” Zayn yells after him as he makes his way back to the bar, Liam close behind him. Louis pushes the basket of nachos towards him, his own mouth too full to be able to speak, and Zayn huffs out a laugh, grabbing a slice of jalapeño and popping it in his mouth.  
Harry and Liam don't take long to get back this time, Liam reaching the table first with his and Louis' Cosmopolitans in his hands.

Zayn snorts. “What is this, Sex and the City?”

“I've never had one before, Harry said they were nice.” Liam says sitting down. Louis just shrugs and takes a sip, giving a thumbs up and a surprised noise of approval.

Zayn laughs, shaking his head before turning as Harry sits down next to him.

“What's that?” He asks in confusion, nodding at the decently sized pitcher of what looks like whiskey and coke placed in front of Harry.

“Harry wasn't paying attention.” Liam says through a giggle.

Zayn turns to look at Harry in question.

“Well, he asked if I wanted a glass or a large one. I just thought I'd get a large glass.” Harry looks sheepishly down at the pitcher.

Zayn laughs along with Liam and Louis. Harry doesn't seem to mind, grinning and shrugging a bit at himself.

“How much was it?” Zayn asks, still laughing a bit.

“It was actually quite affordable, you get your money's worth definitely.” Harry says, looking quite pleased in spite of everything.

Zayn laughs again. “You need any help with that?” He says, holding his Corona in one hand on the table.

Harry's eyes light up. “Yeah, thanks,” He grins. “Want me to get you a straw?”

Zayn shakes his head at the situation, an amused smile on his face. “Yeah, go on then.”

Harry grins again, getting up and moving away to head back to the bar to get Zayn a straw.

 

When the pitcher is half empty Zayn has already been to the toilet twice in half an hour. It's a really well mixed drink so managing to get it down proves to be quite easy, especially when there's two of them. Louis and Liam have been back to the bar twice for some tequila shots, Harry and Zayn laughing everytime, looking down at the big pitcher of whiskey and rum and sighing before taking a few more large sips, watching the liquid get lower and lower.

“So you haven't seen Lord of the Rings?” Harry asks Zayn when Liam and Louis go to the toilet together for the second time (Zayn should probably have a chat with them about that, he thinks when they leave down the stairs again). His cheeks are a bit flushed and his voice is slightly louder than necessary, even if the club has gotten pretty crowded during the time they've been there.

Zayn smiles and rolls his eyes.

“I've _seen_ it,” He says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, which it kind of is, because who the hell hasn't seen the Lord of the Rings movies in this day and age? “It's just been a while.” He finishes, shrugging and looking at Harry while slightly stirring the pitcher with his straw.

“How long is a while?” Harry asks, his eyes focused maybe a bit too intently on Zayn's. The pitcher is half empty after all.

Zayn shrugs again, sighing as he thinks.

“I don't know. I think it was on during new years last year?”

Harry gives him an utterly appalled frown. “Are you being serious?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowed almost comically, mouth slightly open as he looks at Zayn in shock.

Zayn can't help but laugh at his face.

“I'm sorry!” He says defensively, smiling. “I don't know, I'll get to it, I promise. You're actually making me wanna see it now, with your nagging.” He grins at Harry, shaking his head in joking weariness.

“Hey,” Harry says, pouting slightly. “I'm not,” He almost whines and Zayn laughs at him again, making a grin spread across Harry's face.

“You know I dressed up as Frodo for Halloween once when I was like 15,” He says, smiling proudly.

Zayn snorts with his straw in his mouth, just about to take another sip. “You know, I can actually see that.”

“Went down a treat, I won best dressed,” Harry grins.

“I'm sure, you certainly had the curls for it.” He says, nodding at Harry's hair. “Maybe not so much now though,” He says, tilting his head a bit, eyeing Harry's long looks that reach a couple inches below his shoulders now. The curls are still very much present, but the weight of his hair has made them less tight and more wavy and loose. “You'd make a pretty good Aragorn though,” He wiggles his eyebrows at Harry.

Harry huffs out a laugh, looking down into their drink. “Maybe,” He shrugs. “I think I'll stick to being the ringbearer for now though.” He says, sticking his tounge out as he catches the straw with his mouth. Zayn looks on, probably not as discreetly as he would have had he been completely sober, before getting distracted as Harry takes a huge sip and the liquid in the pitcher shrinks considerably.

“Woah there!” Zayn laughs in suprise.

Harry straightens back up in his seat, very obviously swallowing down a burp, looking a bit apologetic before Zayn snorts loudly, laughing around his own straw.

Harry grins a bit breathlessly, before his face scrunches up.

“Fuck, I need the toilet,” He sighs, just as Louis and Liam come back up the stairs.

“Be right back,” Harry says, standing up and putting a hand on Zayn's shoulder as he walks past behind his chair and disappears quickly down the stairs.

Zayn turns around to watch him go, still giggling a bit as Liam and Louis sit back down.

“Having fun on your date?” Louis asks, pulling his chair in towards the table as he's sat down.

Zayn frowns a bit before turning to Liam who immediately puts his hands up in defense.

“It's alright,” Louis laughs. “Harry's a great guy, you have my blessing. Honestly, anything that will get you far away from that tosser is okay with me.”

Zayn rolls his eyes, sighing sharply. “We're just talking!” He says a bit louder than intended, realising, and then taking another sip out of his straw just because.

“Alright! I'm just saying,” Louis says back just as loudly. He's quiet for approximately two seconds before he continues. “You know he's one hundred percent single though, yeah?”

Zayn throws a crusty piece of cheese at Louis, who dodges just in time.

“You know the queue really wasn't that long?” Harry says as he appears behind Zayn suddenly. Zayn's eyes go wide and he looks at Liam who immediately shakes his head at him. Zayn relaxes a bit in his chair moving it to the side slightly so Harry can sit down comfortably between him and the pillar. He still narrows his eyes at Louis again though, picking up and throwing a jalapeño slice that Liam manages to catch before it hits Louis in the face.

 

They keep talking and laughing for a while more, Harry and Zayn finally managing to finish their pitcher, giving each other a high-five as they've swallowed their last gulps. Louis and Liam start to get increasingly more handsy the later it gets, so at half 1, almost on the dot, they all grab their jackets and start piling out of the club.

The air is a bit chilly as they step outside and Zayn and Harry both shiver and bury their hands in their jacket pockets at the same time, laughing a bit at each other. Louis and Liam leave to fetch a cab to Liam's place as soon as they've properly hugged the other two goodbye, talking over each other about how fun it's been before they grab each other's hands and run away across the street towards the main road.

Zayn and Harry start walking together in the same direction after having established that Zayn has managed to miss the last tube home. Harry suggests they share a taxi home and Zayn easily agrees.

They manage to stop a taxi together, and say their adresses after having sat down properly beside each other. Harry tells the driver to drop Zayn off first, and Zayn is too tired to object, having been hit with a sudden exhaustion after sitting down comfortably. The ride to Zayn's flat is a quiet one, the both of them looking out the windows at all of the lights flashing by. The silence isn't uncomfortable and Zayn finds himself closing his eyes and letting the movements of the car relax him even further. He rests his head back against the headrest and he must've dozed a bit because all of a sudden the taxi is stopping and Harry is gently moving his shoulder that Zayn's head has ended up resting on for the last part of the ride. Zayn doesn't feel too embarrassed, in his intoxicated state of calmness, and just lifts his head lazily, stretching a bit. Harry is smiling at him gently as he lifts his eyes to his face and Zayn smiles back, big and tired. He moves in for a hug, not letting them part for a couple of seconds, the hug lasting considerably longer than the one they shared in greeting hours before. Harry pulls him in with an arm around his waist, and smiles at him still as they part.

“Thanks for tonight, I had a sick time,” Zayn says, rubbing his left eye slightly more violently than intended. Harry huffs out a little laugh as Zayn frowns at himself.

“Yeah, same. I'll see you around, yeah?” He asks, eyes flicking over Zayn's face as he gives him a small smile.

Zayn nods, still with a lazy smile on his face.

“Definitely. Night, Harry.” He says, turning around to open the car door. He steps out on the pavement and turns towards Harry one more time. He gives a little wave and a smile.

“Good night, Zayn.”

Zayn grins, and pushes the door shut.

\--

The morning brings with it a heavy dose of September rain, and an equally as big hangover.

Zayn wakes up at nine feeling like his brain is about to burst out of his skull. What does burst out of his body is the nachos he had inhaled the night before, along with what must be at least half a liter of whiskey and coke. He makes it to the bathroom in time, kneeling on the floor and dry-heaving after he's gotten it all out. He knows from experience that this doesn't necessarily mean that the worst is over, so he brings the red plastic bucket with him, that after many similar nights he still can't really look at without feeling slightly nauseous, and sets it down beside the bed and curls up in a ball under the duvet, shivering and closing his eyes to try and sleep it off.

He gets about an hour of sleep before he wakes up again, feeling about 80 percent of the shittiness he felt at nine. He quickly realises that he's not gonna get anymore sleep and somehow manages to drag himself up into a sitting position. Grabbing the bucket, he slowly makes his way into the kitchen, pouring himself a large glass of water, stops by the bathroom on the way to the living room to get something for his head, puts his glass down on the coffee table and proceeds to collaps onto the sofa.

 

Louis stumbles in just after 2 pm, making an amount of noise that would've made Zayn puke all over the livingroom floor had it been three hours earlier.

He looks a bit worse for wear, but is still sporting a smile on his face as he enters the livingroom with bags under his eyes.

Zayn is half-sitting, half-lying down on the sofa, both feet propped up on the edge of the coffee table, and his head resting on the backrest of the sofa, his chin almost touching his chest. He'd somehow managed to be awake enough to undress and pull on a t-shirt and some sweatpants before falling into bed the night before, and he's still in the same clothes, getting dressed properly being the last thing on his mind.

Louis snorts at the sight of him.

“Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.” He laughs, walking over to the sofa and slumping down next to Zayn, resting his bare feet beside Zayn's on the coffee table. The TV is on, Zayn just managing to reach the remote after he'd sunk down into the sofa cushions hours before. There had been a Great British Bake Off marathon showing when he turned the TV on, something that he would usually gladly watch, cosying up under one of the blankets draped across the back of the sofa, but being in the state that he was, he'd just gagged quietly and changed the channel. Right now he's watching a nature program about sharks, and Louis frowns as he focuses on the screen.

“Aren't you getting sea sick? No wonder you look fucking awful.” He says looking down at Zayn.

Zayn manages a glare and slowly raises a heavy hand. Louis follows the movement with curious eyes until the hand lands on his thigh, giving it a firm squeeze.

“Ow!” He yelps, pushing Zayn's hand away quickly.

“I brought food and this is how you repay me?” He says, getting up and walking out into the hall. “I'm guessing you haven't eaten yet?”

Zayn just looks into the direction of the hall until Louis returns with two McDonalds bags. Zayn's stomach grumbles indecisively.

“Here you are, now don't say I never do anything for you.” Louis says, dropping one of the bags in Zayn's lap. Zayn smiles up at him sweetly. Louis rolls his eyes, sits down, and changes the channel.

 

At around 4 in the afternoon Zayn starts feeling the life coming back into his body. He drags himself off the sofa to go take a shower, Louis still lying down on the cushions watching some football match that Zayn really couldn't care less about.

After leaving the shower through a cloud of steam he walks back to his room and gets dressed in some fresh comfy clothes. He pulls his big black jumper with the Batman logo down over his head and runs a hand through his hair, not bothering to do anything to it since he's just gonna spend the night at home. Somehow he managed to plug his phone into the wall to charge over night, and Zayn gives himself a litte imaginary pat on the back as he walks over to his night table to separate it from its cord. He stands up and unlocks his screen, noticing a new message from an unknown number.

He frowns while pulling on the neck of his jumper to make it sit more comfortably and opens the message.

_Hi, just wanted to check really quick to see of you were still alive x Harry_

Zayn grins at the screen in surprise before tapping out his answer.

_Hi Harry :) im just barely, it took some time but i feel alright now lol, how did you get my number?_

He doesn't remember exchanging numbers with Harry last night, but then again, he was so tired in the cab ride home that it might've just slipped his mind.

_Oh sorry, Liam gave it to me, I hope that's ok? Didn't mean to like, creep on you or anything hah_

Zayn frowns at his phone, huffing out a little laugh.

_No of course it's ok mate, just wasnt sure if i mightve given it to you last night or not, I was pretty lost when we said goodbye aha :) x_

They continue texting back and forth for a good while, Zayn laying down on his bed with his phone, scrolling through Twitter while waiting for Harry's texts. It turns out Harry and Liam actually did manage to get up relatively early and head for the gym as they had planned, albeit a couple hours late. Harry sends him a picture he'd taken of Liam lying down in a heap on the floor in the changing rooms after their session, and Zayn snorts, reminding himself to show Louis later what an absolute champ his boyfriend is. They talk about random things after that, just a back and forth of meaningless but enjoyable conversation and Zayn finds himself actually waiting a bit impatiently for his phone to go off, signaling a new text has been sent.

All of a sudden it's an hour later, and Zayn notices it's started to get dark outside as he looks out the window after hearing an ambulance go by in the distance.

He looks back down at his phone as it buzzes in his hand, the screen lighting up with a new message.

_Hey I was just thinking about yesterday while I was on the treadmill before, about you not having watched Lord of the Rings for so long and I dont know, you wanna watch it together?_

Zayn raises his eyebrows a bit, a small smile spreading across his lips.

_That's not a line btw, I was just thinking like, as like a movie night or something_

Another text reads before Zayn has managed to think of a reply. He chuckles a bit at the tone of the message, wondering if Harry's on his phone thinking he might've said something inappropriate. He quickly types out a reply, the little dots signaling that Harry's typing having disappeared.

_That sounds great, id love to :) im free on thursday if that works for you??_

Harry's next message comes within just a couple of seconds.

_Thursday works very well! You wanna do it at my place?_

Zayn snorts at bit at the wording.

 _This is just not my day is it_ , Harry's next text reads.

Zayn laughs out loud at that, tapping out a reponse.

_Lol! It's ok mate, yeah your place sounds good, just text me the time and place and i'll be there ;)_

\--

The rest of the week goes by as planned. Zayn makes the very poor decision of mentioning to Louis about his scheduled little hangout with Harry, and as expected, Louis won't shut up about it until Liam yells at him to stop harassing his friend and get back in bed. Zayn hears them talk amongst themselves, knowing they're discussing the subject even further and rolls his eyes, heading back to his bedroom. Those two are too predictable.

On Tuesday he gets a text from Greg, asking how he's holding up without him. They really don't even get together _that_ often, Zayn thinks as he's looking at the text, once a week at absolute most. Greg has been the one initiating it more frequently lately, and Zayn is rarely not up for a shag. Maybe it's happened more than once a week recently, but still, Zayn can manage very well on his own. Despite what Greg might think himself, his dick doesn't actually have magical powers.

Zayn sends back a half-arsed, slightly flirty reply, knowing that Greg won't really care either way so long as Zayn shows that he's thinking of him. Greg too, is way too predictable and Zayn is thankful for that, because it means that he always knows exactly how much work he needs to put in to get what he wants at all times, whatever it may be.

He works his shifts at the restaurant, thinking about the three whole days he's getting off from work, from Thursday to Saturday, and finally on Wednesday night he falls into bed, exhausted from working a late five hour shift, sets his alarm on his phone till noon and falls asleep almost instantly.

\--

Harry lives with his mother in a flat on top of the organic shop in Camden. It's a two story flat, one each for Harry and his mum. Zayn remembers well enough where the shop is, although it wouldn't really have mattered if he did or not since a couple minutes after he's left the tube station Harry calls him up to guide him there, ending up asking him about his day instead of telling him which street he should be looking for.

Zayn arrives just before 6 pm, heading towards the door to the right of the shop entrance, still with Harry on the line as he waits for him to come down and let him in.

Harry is still on the phone to him as he bounds down the stairs, pulling the door open and smiling at Zayn with his phone against his ear. Zayn grins back, finally hanging up and putting his phone in his back pocket, and Harry steps aside to let him up, after giving him a big hug in greeting.

They walk past the door to Harry's mum's place, who's still working in the shop until it closes at 7, reaching Harry's door at the top of the building.

It's a lovely little flat, smaller than Zayn and Louis' but still big enough to make for a comfortable home. Harry's still got a couple unpacked boxes in a corner of the living area, Zayn notices after taking off his shoes and jacket and stepping in from the little hallway, and a lot of stuff in general, all crammed into the room, making it appear smaller than it actually is. A large comfy-looking sofa takes up quite a bit of room where it's situated in front of a decently sized flat screen tv. There's a cupboard in a corner by the window that is filled to the brim with DVDs and VHS tapes, and Zayn's thoughts float back to his parents' house in Harrow and he smiles a bit.

“This is nice,” He says walking further into the room and turning to look at everything from the cactuses in the window to the furry rug under the slightly clunky, wooden coffee table. “Is all of this yours?” He asks, turning back to Harry who's standing in the doorway looking at him with his hands in his pockets.

He nods. “Yeah, pretty much. I got some stuff from my nan and grandad's when we moved, like, the sofa used to be theirs, and the coffee table as well. I picked some stuff up at a flee market too, pretty quality stuff for a very good price.” He nods at the cupboard in the corner.

“How long have you been here for exactly?” Zayn asks, realising that he doesn't already know.

Harry wrinkles his forehead in thought.

“It's been about a month now I think? Mum moved down first and then I came down after a couple weeks, once she'd properly got situated and was ready to open up the doors to the shop.”

“She's been doing well then?” Zayn asks, still standing in the middle of the room.

Harry nods, a little smile on his face.

“She has, even better than she expected I think. She's really passionate about it, I always knew she'd make this work.” He looks proud, and Zayn smiles back at him. He looks around the room again before Harry speaks up after a couple of seconds of silence.

“I made a smoothie batch with some fresh strawberries. You want some?” He says, looking at Zayn before nodding his head out into the hallway towards the kitchen. Zayn smiles widely, nodding, and follows him into the kitchen.

 

Harry's sofa turns out to be just as comfortable as it looks, and an hour into the Lord of the Rings Zayn finds himself feeling more than content, a blanket thrown over his legs and his tall glass of strawberry and yoghurt smoothie resting in a loose grasp of his hand in his lap. Harry dug out some cheesy popcorn in a cupboard in his kitchen, explaining to Zayn once again that despite what Louis said, he wasn't actually a vegan hippie. The bowl is placed between them on the sofa, the two of them burrowed as far into the cushions as possible, watching the scene where Frodo gets stabbed by one of the black riders.

“Oh, yes please,” Zayn lets out as Aragorn jumps in out of nowhere to defend the poor helpless hobbits. Harry snorts a bit, looking at Zayn.

“That fit, eh?” He asks, reaching for some popcorn.

“Yeah,” Zayn says, furrowing his brows as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. “Look at him.” He nods towards the TV, his eyes still fixated on Aragorn, swinging his sword wildly. “I'd get in trouble constantly if it meant it would make him do all that.”

Harry laughs, shaking his head.

“Seems a bit messy if you ask me.” He says, looking at the screen as well, frowning a bit.

“I don't mind, adds a bit of spice doesn't it, all the blood and the shattered bones,” Zayn says, watching as Aragorn throws a burning torch into the face of one of the black riders. He's forgotten how much he likes these films.

“So, you're single, yeah?” Harry asks, looking at him with a cheeky glint in his eye as Zayn turns to him. Zayn shakes his head at him, shoving at his shoulder lightly and Harry snickers in delight.

 

They end up watching as far as twenty minutes into The Two Towers, before Harry's eyelids start to droop. It's all of a sudden 10 pm, and Zayn's phone buzzes on the sofa where he's put it down beside him on the cushions. A text from Louis lights up the screen.

_So are you coming home or did you get lucky_

Zayn quickly locks his phone before Harry can get a glimpse of the screen. He realises there's no need to be anxious about that when he turns to his left to look at him. Harry's chin is resting on his chest, his empty glass in a dangerously loose grasp in his hand. Zayn reaches over towards the coffee table for the remote, pausing the movie and turning back to Harry. He nudges him gently with his shoulder, smiling as Harry's eyes shoot open.

“Oh god,” Harry rubs at his face furiously with a big hand, swallowing down a yawn. “I promise I was just resting my eyes for a bit.”

Zayn laughs softly at him, waiting for him to look up at him, and smiling when he does.

“It's okay,” He says, feeling his insides go a bit warm at Harry's tired eyes, his hair all disheveled from having been rubbing against the sofa. “I should probably get going anyway before Louis has a fit about me not being home yet.” He laughs a bit, and Harry huffs out a chuckle as well.

“Yeah alright,” He says, throwing his blanket on the sofa beside him and lifting himself up in a standing position, waiting for Zayn to do the same. He stretches as he's standing up and Zayn does the same. The hem of Harry's jumper moves up as he stretches his arms high above his head, and Zayn looks down at the table so as not to be caught staring. He starts to bend down to gather up the glasses and the blender, but Harry puts a hand on his arm before he can pick anything up other than his own glass.

“It's alright, I'll deal with that in the morning.” He says, nodding at Zayn in confirmation as he hesitates with his hand in the air. Zayn gives in after a couple of seconds and picks up his phone and puts it in his back pocket before walking out into the hallway, Harry following closely behind.

“You want me to walk you to the tube station?” Harry asks leaning against the wall in the hallway, watching Zayn put on his boots.

Zayn frowns slightly at the offer, smiling up at Harry.

“Nah, it's cool,” He says, grabbing his jacket from where he hung it on a coat hanger underneath Harry's hatrack. The fact that Harry has both coat hangers and a hatrack makes Zayn want to smile, for reasons unknown to him. “I think I'll get a cab anyway, thanks though, mate.” He says, straightening out the collar of his jacket and checking so he has his phone and keys with him.

Harry smiles, still standing by the wall with his arms folded over his chest. He looks very sleepy and Zayn laughs a bit, opening up his arms and gesturing for Harry to come over and hug him. Harry immediately lets his arms drop to his sides, stepping over his own boots that lie haphazardly strewn on the floor.

They pull each other in for a long hug, Zayn getting a face full of hair as Harry drapes his long arms around him.

“This was lovely,” Zayn smiles into Harry's shoulder, closing his eyes at the feeling of Harry hugging him tightly, feeling himself get a bit sleepier than he was two minutes ago.

“It was,” Harry says, letting go of Zayn slowly and stepping back a bit, folding his arms again like he's cold. “Raincheck for the second half?” He asks, peeking at Zayn, his eyes looking half closed already in the dim light of the hallway lamp hanging above them.

“Definitely,” Zayn smiles, fighting back a yawn as he reaches for the door handle behind him.

“Wait, I'll walk you out,” Harry says suddenly, as if he's just remembering that he lives on the third floor.

Zayn doesn't object, walking down the stairs with Harry trailing behind him in just his socks. They hug again by the front door before Zayn tells Harry to go upstairs and warm himself up, stepping out onto the pavement and waving back at Harry standing in the door smiling and watching him go.

\--

It becomes a bit of a thing after that. Harry and Zayn get together again to watch the rest of the trilogy, where Zayn brings up the fact that he also hasn't seen the last few Harry Potter films in a while. Harry once again decides that 'a while' is indeed too long of a time, which in turn leads to a Harry Potter-marathon stretched over several days whenever they're both free, watching them both at Harry's place and then at Louis and Zayn's.

The four of them hang out together a couple more times, Louis making joking comments about Zayn and Harry both attempting to steal his best friend, to which Harry just laughs, giving him an opportunity to throw himself at Louis, whether they're in the comfort of their own home or out in public, Harry doesn't care, and Louis always ends up regretting ever saying anything when he's trying to battle off what he himself can only describe as the world's biggest oversized toddler.

Zayn also starts to visit Harry when he's working at the shop, finally getting to meet Mrs Styles after having heard Harry talk so lovingly about her. He tells her as much when they meet, and Anne (as she insists he call her) just laughs, looking at Harry with love in her eyes, pinching his cheeks jokingly and making Harry whine and Zayn laugh.

“My mum does that too,” Zayn says later when they're climbing the stairs to Harry's flat, laughing again and shaking his head as Harry rubs his cheeks in memory. “I know, why do they have to do it so hard?” Harry pouts cutely, making Zayn giggle again.

That in turn leads them onto the topic of Zayn's family, Harry asking about a thousand questions that Zayn really doesn't mind answering, enjoying talking about his loved ones, smiling fondly at whatever story or fact he's sharing.

Harry looks very interested in hearing about Zayn's cultural background and doesn't hesitate to ask for some recipes as Zayn starts to rave about his mum's cooking. Zayn immediately blurts out that he'll cook something for him if he wants, wanting to take it back as soon as he's said it, afraid that that might be too much or that he's maybe sending out the wrong signals. But Harry's face just lights up and he takes Zayn up on his offer before he can say anything else.

Zayn ends up making Harry his mum's famous chicken biryani at his and Louis' flat and after having his first bite, Harry can't shut up about how good it is. Liam and Louis come home as Harry's reaching for seconds, raising their brows at the scene before smelling the food and pulling up some chairs and digging in, in spite of Zayn's half-hearted protests.

Zayn has somehow successfully avoided an interrogation from Louis or Liam about his and Harry's blooming friendship (which is all it really is, really, in spite of the warm feeling that spreads through Zayn's stomach sometimes when Harry grins at him happily. It is what it is, and nothing more, nothing less), but his luck of course cannot last for too long, and when he's coming home after work one day, having taken an earlier shift than usual, Louis greets him with a chinese takeaway and an offer to let him doze on his shoulder while they watch The Winter Soldier.

After stuffing himself full of noodles, Zayn leans his head back against the headrest of the sofa, sinking further down into the cushions with a sigh. He's still not too tired to not watch the whole film till the end, but the prospect of his warm, soft bed is certainly an inviting thought.

He's just contemplating if it's worth it to sit and watch the movie for the umpteenth time or if he'd rather just have an early night for once in his life, when Louis clears his throat. It's a bad sign, it always is when Louis makes his presence known before opening his mouth to talk, instead of just chattering away and forcing whoever is listening to follow along as well as possible.

Zayn looks to his left at Louis' profile. “What?”

“Harry forgot his beanie the last time he was here, I put it on the kitchen table for when you'll go and see him next.” Louis says, his eyes still on the tv.

Zayn looks up at him blankly for a bit before letting out a small noise in understanding, nodding his head and turning back towards the screen.

“You've really been spending a lot of time together, the two of you, lately, haven't you?” Louis says, his voice soft and uncharacteristically quiet.

Zayn waits for a couple of seconds before answering, his stomach twisting a bit uncomfortably with a feeling he can't quite pinpoint. He shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah, I guess.”

“I'm glad.” Louis says, smiling when Zayn looks up at him. “I did always think you we're gonna get along just fine, but seeing you two getting so close to each other makes me really happy. Means you have something to do when I'm at Liam's more than anything,” He laughs a bit, and Zayn smiles lazily.

“You know I'm fine on my own.” Zayn says, watching the film but not really paying attention to the plot.

“Of course I do,” Louis' voice goes softer again. “I always have. It's just nice, you know. Isn't it?” He looks down at Zayn, a small smile on his face.

Zayn frowns at him.

“I don't know,” Louis continues, looking back towards the TV. “You just seem to have a lot of fun together. I like it. Liam too.”

Zayn's little frown stays on his face, but his stomach starts twisting even more than before. He swallows a bit, folding his arms over his stomach, hugging himself slightly. He's not too sure where Louis is going with all of this, except that he sort of is.

“Harry's a great guy,” Louis says, a bit too out of the blue to be unintentional. Zayn feels his face heating up at his words, looking down at his arms on his stomach, stretching his legs out a bit, and then folding them back in again, almost robotically, his toes curling into the carpet on the floor beneath the coffee table.

His shoulder does something that is more of a twitch than a shrug, but Louis keeps talking anyway.

“You fit well together.”

Louis waits a couple of seconds before looking down at Zayn. Zayn's eyes are fixed on the TV, but he feels Louis' gaze on the side of his head. Louis huffs out a quiet chuckle, before sinking down to Zayn's level next to him on the sofa, bumping their shoulders together on purpose as he burrows himself further into the cushions, after reaching behind them and grabbing a blanket that's hanging off the back of the sofa and throwing it over the both of them. Zayn lets the moment pass for the time being, feeling too content to move anymore, and lays his head on Louis' shoulder, feeling him rest his cheek on the top of his head, and closing his eyes, the sounds from the TV lulling him into a very well deserved nap.

\--

After a long, draining week working at the restaurant, Zayn happily says yes to Harry asking him if he would like him to come over on Saturday night.

Zayn has just pulled on some comfy sweatpants after stepping out of the shower. It's 10 pm and he's been home for about thirty minutes, and the prospect of falling onto his bed and sleeping till new years doesn't sound like such a bad idea. Him and Harry have been texting on and off as usual during the week, not having been able to see each other for a couple days what with Zayn being busy with work and Harry studying for an exam between helping Anne out at the shop.

Zayn enthusiastically says yes to Harry bringing with him some food, and throws his towel on the bed after drying his hair, pocketing his phone in his sweats and going out into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea.

About thirty minutes later there's a ringing on his door and Zayn drags himself up from the sofa to go answer it. Harry stands there as he pulls the door open, a big jacket on to shield himself from the increasingly cold weather, and holding up a brown paper bag spattered with grease stains.

They grin at each other and Zayn steps aside to let him in.

\--

“Oh God,” Zayn moans. “I haven't had fish and chips like this in ages,” He says, popping another piece of fried fish in his mouth, shaking his head at how good it is.

“What kind have you had then?” Harry smiles, looking down at his own food, shoving a big chip in his mouth and holding a fist in front of it as he chews. They're sitting crosslegged on the floor by the window in the livingroom, for some reason feeling like it was a better fit than the comfortable sofa.

Zayn rolls his eyes, both at Harry's and at his own words.

“Alright, I haven't had any kind of fish and chips in ages.” He corrects himself, taking a sip of his glass of water.

“There seems so be a lot of that,” Harry frowns, looking down at the food in his lap, trying to pull a piece of fish in half, and sucking on his greasy thumb before dipping the fish in some tomato ketchup.

Zayn watches on, chewing his own food and waiting for him to continue.

“Maybe you should just write down a proper list, and then we can go through it and do all the things that you haven't done in _ages_.” Harry says, looking up at Zayn, still with a bit of fish in his mouth.

Zayn looks at him with a little smile. “I wouldn't be opposed to it, sounds like fun.” He says softly, a teasing little tilt to his voice, giving a small shrug of his shoulder.

Harry turns his head down towards his food again, looking up at him with raised eyebrows, his face tilted downwards still. He grins at him, still trying to pick out some fish from between his teeth with his tongue and Zayn huffs out a chuckle.

“So how was your day then?” Harry asks, starting to tear at his fish again.

It's become sort of like a tradition, Harry always asking how his day has been, either through a text or a phonecall if they don't get to meet for him to ask it in person. It's not a weird thing at all, it's very nice actually, but having been with only Greg for so long, Zayn appreciates the little act of kindness even more. Greg certainly never asks him how he's been whenever they meet, it's usually pretty straightforward from the get go nowadays. There used to be a time when they first started to get with each other that Greg would make a bit of an effort with Zayn, maybe offer him a glass of wine or sit him down for a little chat, indulging in meaningless smalltalk before they started to move towards the bedroom. It's not that Zayn cares exactly, he doesn't particularly want to spend anymore time with Greg than is necessary, but just the feeling that somebody (somebody who isn't Liam or Louis) is actually taking the time to ask Zayn how _he_ is doing, with no kind of hidden agenda, is really quite nice. The fact that Harry also genuinely sounds and looks like he really wants to know, makes Zayn smile even bigger, and the feeling even nicer.

“It's been good, long, and really busy,” He sighs, feeling so content to be sitting here right now, instead of running around taking orders, like many of his coworkers still are. “I don't know, it's been alright though. Even better now, obviously.” He adds as an after thought, smiling as Harry grins slightly, still with his face turned down towards where he is trying to scoop up some fish out of the newspaper in his lap.

Zayn looks down at his own food, the thoughts from a few seconds ago making him remember something else.

“Oh, speaking of things I haven't done in ages, I got a call from Greg at lunchtime, just before I went into work.” He says, rustling his papers a bit, popping another chip in his mouth and rubbing his hands together lightly to get rid of the crumbs.

He notices Harry tensing a bit before he looks up at Zayn properly. They haven't really discussed the Greg situation in great detail, it's come up in conversation a few times when they've all been together as a foursome, usually by Louis or by Zayn's phone going off with a new text. Zayn has casually explained who Greg is to Harry, after Harry always looked a bit confused at the name popping up every now and again, and also a bit interested by the way Louis always reacted to it.  
Harry has asked Zayn as casually as possible if he has a boyfriend, not wanting it to seem like he was demanding to know, but also a bit awkwardly since judging by how close they'd gotten, it would seem a bit odd for Zayn to have kept such a big part of his life from him, for whatever reason.

Zayn had just laughed a bit, shaking his head and explaining as well as he could what he and Greg were to each other, trying not to feel too self conscious about the whole fuck buddy thing. Harry didn't seem to mind once Zayn had told him, but ever since then he always seems a bit tense whenever the topic is brought up. Zayn still isn't sure if he had just said he was okay with it when he actually wasn't, or if the way that Louis and Liam spoke about the whole thing had made Harry feel the same way about it as they did. Whatever the reason, it just didn't feel like a topic they had to discuss too often. After all, Greg is just a tiny part of Zayn's life, and apart from the fact that he has been the only provider Zayn has had for sex for a pretty good while now, he really isn't that important.

Harry clears his throat a bit, before looking back down at his food, starting to pick at his fish again but with less intent this time.

“Yeah? What did he want?”

Zayn shrugs a bit.

“He just asked if I wanted to come over tonight, but I said I was too tired,” Just saying the word makes Zayn have to swallow down a yawn.

Harry nods a bit, still looking at his food.

“So, what's deal with you and him anyway?” He asks, biting off one end of a chip and turning his face back up again.

“What do you mean?” Zayn asks once Harry is looking at him properly.

Harry shrugs a bit, waiting to speak until he's swallowed his food.

“I mean, like, do you want to be with him? Does he want to be with you?”

Zayn frowns at him as he usually does whenever Louis starts asking him the same thing. He hasn't done that in a while though, Zayn thinks gratefully. To be honest, Zayn has been meeting up with Greg a lot less regularly lately – the last time they got together was almost two weeks ago now that Zayn thinks about it – so maybe Louis hasn't felt like he has needed to bring up the topic.

“Well, I can safely say on my part that I don't wanna be with him,” He says, taking a sip of water. Harry's face relaxes into something calmer compared to the little frown he was sporting a moment earlier.

“And what about him?” He asks, taking a sip from his own glass.

“I hardly think so,” Zayn frowns to himself, pulling at a piece of fish. “I don't know, who knows, but, nah. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't even like me that much, to be honest.” He laughs a bit.

Harry frowns again. “Why do you think that?”

Zayn shrugs a shoulder.

“I don't know. He just always talks a bit of shit about my job, like it's not a good enough job to have or something. And like, he tends to tell me that I look too thin and that I should eat more and shit like that.” He shakes his head, rolling his eyes at it all.

“What?” Harry's frown is back again, and he almost looks downright disgusted when Zayn looks up at him. “Why would he say that?” He asks, his hands resting in loose fists on his knees, probably trying not to get any more grease on his clothes than necessary.

Zayn shrugs again, being so immune to Greg's words of idiocy by now. “I don't know, he's just a bit of a knobhead really.”

“He sounds like a dick.” Harry says with vigour. “You don't need to hear that, from anyone. No one does.” He says, shaking his head, still frowning deeply.

And even though Zayn obviously knows this already, and even though Louis has told him so countless times before, and even though Zayn doesn't really feel like it's that big of a deal anymore, he still feels a huge warmth spreading through his body at Harry's words, and his general reaction.

“Yeah, I know.” He just says, twisting the corner of his mouth up a bit, looking down at his food.

“Just like, that it's you of all people,” Harry continues, and Zayn looks up at him again. He still looks a bit upset about the whole situation. “You deserve so much better than that crap.”

Zayn's stomach does a funny little swoop. “Yeah?” He asks softly, a small smile appearing on his face.

“Yeah,” Harry says like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and the thought that he might think it is makes Zayn look down at his food again, just to hide the smile that's getting bigger on his face.

“You just, you deserve someone who is nice to you and, treats you well, and,” He keeps going, and Zayn looks up at him with big eyes, his stomach in knots, and his heart suddenly beating a bit faster in his chest, waiting for Harry to finish what he's trying to say.

“Just someone who, appreciates you, you know?” Harry is looking down at his food, his voice having gone a bit softer at the end of his speech, and Zayn follows his movements with his eyes intently.

Harry looks up at Zayn finally, their gazes locking for a few seconds, before Harry swallows and suddenly looks like he's bracing himself for something, as he opens his mouth to speak again.

“Maybe, someone, who occasionally likes to bring you some of the best junk food in all of London whenever he thinks you might need a pick me up after a long day.” He tries to give a casual shrug of his shoulder, but he's staring straight into Zayn's eyes, a hint of doubt mixed with a bigger amount of hope flickering in his own.

Zayn's gaze shifts between Harry's eyes for a second, and Harry's face grows slightly panicked before the huge smile that has been threatening to appear at any second during the past few minutes finally spreads across Zayn's face.

“Yeah?” Zayn asks, his grin so wide he thinks it might actually split his face in half.

Harry nods, his body language relaxing considerably, a lovely little grin of his own slowly appearing on his face, dimples suddenly out in full force.

“Yeah.” Harry says just as softly, giving a huge sigh of what must be relief, still looking firmly in Zayn's eyes.

Zayn giggles at him, shaking his head a bit at how ridiculously sweet he is and his heart is beating so wildly in his chest he almost feels it in his throat.

And just like that, he takes a chance, scooting over to Harry before he can stop himself, the newspaper rustling on his lap, and leans in to kiss him, because Harry is smiling so brightly and Zayn suddenly feels like he has been waiting for this for far too long, unbeknownst to himself.

Harry is still smiling as their lips connect, quickly lifting a greasy hand to cup the back of Zayn's neck, and he tastes like ketchup and chips, and the first thing Zayn does when they part again is lean in immediately for another kiss, Harry laughing against his lips and pulling him closer.

 

When Louis comes homes from work an hour later to see Zayn lying on his back on the sofa, with Harry draped across him, snoozing with his head on Zayn's chest, he just grins, moves over to grab the remote that Zayn can't reach and lowers the volume on the tv, looks at Harry's sleeping face fondly, then back up to Zayn's softly smiling one, gives him a wink and retreats to his bedroom.

 

Harry ends up staying the night, the two of them managing to move themselves over to Zayn's bed after two hours of half-asleep (on Harry's part) cuddling on the sofa. Zayn wakes up with a mouthful of curly hair and a strong arm around his waist the next morning. It's the best he's slept in months, and he immediately lifts a hand to run through Harry's hair softly, smiling to himself, feeling so content, so warm and comfortable, and so very happy.

\---

The first days of November bring with them the usual heavy dose of rain, and the always slightly wonderful feeling of melancholy. Zayn has always loved autumn and everything that comes along with it, so the dark and gloomy weather only puts a smile on his face, the prospect of sitting inside by the window under a warm blanket and looking out at a grey and cloudy London making him more excited than anything. The added fact that for the first time in a pretty long time he will have someone to share his blanket with is just the massive and juicy cherry on top, and the thing that makes him smile the absolute widest.

Him and Harry have been together for just over a month now, and it's been an absolutely wonderful October. Zayn doesn't think he has ever managed to feel so close to a person in such a short amount of time, but with Harry everything just seems to make sense. The fact that they were already such good friends before taking it to the next step probably helped with the familiarity of it, and to be honest, not that much has really changed since they put the boyfriend-stamp on the relationship, the time they spend together just somehow seems to feel even more fulfilling, which Zayn didn't really think was possible. He feels a bit weird about being so giddy about a relationship that has only really just started, but Harry just makes him so happy that he really can't be bothered to even care about it. He mentioned how he felt about it to Louis, who just shrugged, telling him not to worry so much, and that him and Harry being so disgustingly cute was just the basic healthy one month behaviour, commenting on the two of them being practically joined at the hip these days, even more so than they were before. “Those days will come though,” He had said, not really giving any great advice about the situation. “Believe you me, the honeymoon phase will be over before you know it. Liam sent me a very descriptive text about his bowel movements the other day, give it a couple months and you'll be there.” Zayn had just laughed, and sent Harry a text about Louis being weird, Louis sitting on the other end of the couch making retching noises.

Louis and Liam have still named themselves Mr and Mr Cupid Extraordinaire, taking full credit for Harry and Zayn's blossoming new relationship. They like to pretend they're disgusted by the two of them being so lovey-dovey with each other, but in reality they're both too proud of themselves to keep from cooing whenever Harry and Zayn engage in some particularly coupley displays of affection.

\--

It's Saturday and apparently double date night according to Louis and Liam. Zayn has got a couple of nights off and is practically jumped by the two of them suggesting they all go out to dinner as he gets home in the afternoon after having gone out to buy some groceries.

He texts Harry who gets off work at 6, telling him of their plans and where they should meet. The two of them had originally planned a quiet night in, but as Louis so bluntly points out, they 'do that all the bloody time anyway'.

They settle on a lovely Libanese place not too far from Louis and Zayn's flat (“just not anything Italian, please” had been Zayn's only request), deciding to meet with Harry at half 7. The three of them get there a bit early and decide to snag a table in the fairly busy restaurant, ordering some drinks while waiting for Harry to join them.

“God, I'm bloody starving,” Liam sighs after their waitress leaves their booth with her tray. “That banana did absolutely nothing.” He shakes his head a bit and Louis laughs, running a hand over the shaved part on the side of Liam's head, moving it to rest on the back of his neck and squeezing lightly.

“Did you not have a shake afterwards?” He asks, looking at Liam with fond eyes, a certain protective and nurturing look in them that he gives to no one else.

“No, I've run out, need to ask Harry for some more.”

“I hope you're paying for all of this, because I don't appreciate you using my boyfriend for your post-workout needs,” Zayn says, half-joking, half-serious.

“Of course I am,” Liam frowns at Zayn, looking honestly offended. Zayn lets his face relax into a genuine smile to show him he was only messing. “He keeps giving me free stuff though, he's too generous, I think it's like a disorder.” Louis and Zayn laugh.

Zayn's phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out to check.

“Is that Harry?” Liam asks, eyes fixed on Zayn's phone. “Tell him to hurry up and that I'm dying.”

“He's almost here, calm down,” Zayn laughs, tapping out a short respons to Harry's text.

“He's been so busy lately with the shop and school, I've hardly seen him,” Louis says. “My condolences, he must be shattered when he comes home every night.” He laughs at himself.

Zayn frowns a bit before he realises what Louis means.

“Oh, yeah, he's been pretty tired,” He laughs a bit, putting his phone down and looking at his fingers on the table, fiddling with the ring on his pinky.

“Liam turns into quite the pillow princess after the gym sometimes too though, don't you love?” Louis adds, turning to a pink-cheeked Liam.

“Well, you try doing forty push-ups and then be expected to hold yourself up and put in all the work,” Louis squawks in disagreement at his words. “My arms get too shaky, you would get suffocated in two seconds.” Liam keeps going, looking at Louis as if they've had this conversation before, which, if Zayn knows them correctly, they probably definitely have.

“I- whatever,” Louis says and rolls his eyes, still with an offended look on his face, turning to Zayn again. “Maybe Harry uses the same excuse then.”

Liam makes a sound of protest but Louis quickly silences him with a kiss, giving him a loving look of truce as he pulls away.

Zayn laughs a bit at the whole scene before Louis turns back to look at him expectantly.

“Um,” He starts, shifting a bit in his seat. “Nah, it hasn't really come up yet.” He says, shrugging slightly.

“What hasn't?” Louis asks. “Is that a penis joke?” Liam snorts beside him.

Zayn laughs, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“No, just, he hasn't really needed to. Give an excuse.” Zayn says, giving them both a tight-lipped smile.

They both frown a bit.

“Oh, is he just always up for it then?” Liam grins a bit.

Zayn huffs out a little laugh, shaking his head again, looking down at his hands.

“Uh, no, we-uh, like...” He starts, suddenly feeling very self-conscious, uncharacteristically so.

Louis' frown all of a sudden turns into something that looks a bit more like shocked surprise, his eyebrows slowly raising on his forehead.

“Have you not-”

“Hey!” Liam bursts out, inadvertently cutting Louis off, waving at someone behind Zayn. But Zayn doesn't miss what Louis was trying to say, it all clicking very quickly in his head. He gives a quick look over his shoulder, seeing Harry move towards them, navigating himself between the many tables in the restaurant, before he turns back to look at Louis with slight panic in his eyes, shaking his head sharply. Louis is still sporting the same face as Harry finally reaches their table, smiling with his hair a bit ruffled from the wind outside, his cheeks slightly pink from the cold weather.

“Hi,” He breathes out in a sigh, sounding like he really had been rushing to get here on time. “I'm so sorry I'm late, I got caught up at the shop, it's been so busy lately.” He says, taking off his jacket and sliding into the seat in the booth next to Zayn.

“Hi, sorry,” He gives Zayn a little private hello, still a bit breathless, smiling brightly with tired eyes, before leaning in to give him a kiss in greeting.

“It's okay, babe,” Zayn says softly, giving him a fond smile, moving his hand up to tuck a piece of Harry's hair behind his ear in an attempt at taming it slightly. “I'm glad you're here.” He says, before leaning in for one more kiss.

“Okay, great, can we order now, _please_?” Liam says, looking quite desperate. Harry laughs.

“Yeah, sure mate,” He says, before turning around in his seat to flag down a waiter.

 

The food is absolutely delicious, Liam moaning between every other bite, making Harry laugh and Louis shake his head. They talk lively amongst themselves, all of them enjoying spending some time together all four of them, something they haven't really done in a while. Louis and Liam, and Zayn a bit as well, were expecting Harry and Zayn's new relationship to come with multiple double dates and couple activities for them all to enjoy together, but in reality, not much has really changed between the four of them. Having another couple to hang out with is just an added bonus, they all seem to think.

The night goes on, the four of them having a lovely time and deciding to order a couple of bottles of red wine and some dessert after having sat for a while at the table to let the fullness of their main course die down a little bit. Zayn starts to think that maybe Louis has forgotten about their previous half-discussion that Harry so generously interrupted, but as Harry and Liam leave to go the toilet when they're waiting for their desserts to arrive, and Louis swiftly turns back to look at Zayn with those same wide eyes, he realises that he, of course, would never be so lucky.

“Have you guys not had sex yet?” He throws out, indelicately as ever.

Zayn huffs out a sigh, looking discreetly around them with wide eyes to check if anyone else might have heard.

“I- no?” He says, trying for a casual shrug. “We haven't, yet.”

“Why not?” Louis asks, having sunk back into his seat a bit now that he's gotten a definite answer.

Zayn sighs again, shrugging more obviously.

“I don't know? We just, it just hasn't happened yet.”

“Huh,” Louis raises his eyebrows a bit, looking down at the glass of wine Zayn is grasping at the table. “Well, it's only been a month hasn't it?”

Zayn nods along. “A month and six days.” He adds quietly as an afterthought.

Louis smiles at him with a tilted head, looking like an emotional mother. Zayn shrugs and laughs, blushing a bit.

“But yeah, exactly,” He goes on. “It's not a big deal.”

Louis nods.

“But, like, you want to though?” He asks, looking as if he might expect to be even more shocked.

Zayn frowns. “Yeah, obviously.” He almost scoffs a little bit. He honestly hasn't thought too much about the current topic, having just had the loveliest time with Harry so far anyway, but there's not much else that he would rather want, if he had to rate it on a list. “I don't know, I'm just, it's gonna come naturally, innit. No pun intended,” He adds after seeing the waggling of Louis' eyebrows and rolling his eyes with a little smile. “I'm not gonna stress about it, or push it or anything. It'll happen when it happens, it's cool.”

Louis nods along, looking like he's thinking about it.

“I mean yeah, of course, it's no big deal. I don't know, maybe it just feels like, the way you were before, and now that you're together, you're so, just, like... _together_? You know?” He makes a movement with his hands, forcing the air between them together as if it's gonna make Zayn any less clueless about what he's trying to say.

Zayn frowns at him, a confused smile on his face.

“I- yeah, I guess?”

“You know what I mean though?” Louis says, still with his hands in the air.

“Yeah,” Zayn agrees, because he kind of does. After being friends for so long there aren't many emotions or thoughts that one of them can have that will pass the other one by. “I get it. Sorry.” He jokes, laughing a bit.

“Eh, it's whatever,” Louis shrugs nonchalantly. “It's not like there's a rush or anything. And it's just sex, isn't it? You both happy, yeah?”

Zayn nods, smiling softly. “We are, yeah.”

“Good,” Louis smiles. “The dick will come to those who wait. You've been pretty good this year, I think you'll be fine.”

Zayn shakes his head a bit, almost in disbelief, trying and failing to choke down a snort.

 

The dessert is amazing and Liam and Louis are practically laying down on their side of the booth when they've finished theirs. Zayn and Harry laugh at them from the other side, Harry being ever the gentleman and deciding to help Zayn finish his portion.

When they all escape the loud noises of the restaurant and are greeted by the fresh air and the rumbling of the city it's to several moans and groans of feeling so very full and content. Harry and Zayn decide to spend the night at Harry's, so Louis and Liam gladly take the opportunity of getting to go back and crash at Zayn and Louis' place.

Harry sighs happily once they've got home and he's let them both into his flat, dropping his keys in the bowl on the little table he has standing in the hall.

They head straight for his bedroom, Harry barely having been able to keep his eyes open in the cab ride home.

Zayn quickly undresses, accepting the usual t-shirt from Harry that he tends to sleep in whenever he stays over, along with a pair of Harry's old pyjama pants, now that the days have been getting increasingly colder.

He lays down in bed, snuggling up under the duvet as he watches Harry get ready for bed himself, the exhaustion making him move even slower than usual. Harry turns his back on him as he pulls down his jeans, trying to step out of them without tripping over himself, and grabs a pair of loose sweatpants that he usually wears to bed, slipping them on before turning around. He pulls a t-shirt over his head after ridding himself of the button down he'd been wearing, and climbs into bed with Zayn, reaching over to flick of the lamp on his night table before burrowing closer to Zayn under the duvet. He sighs contently once he's gotten comfortable, Zayn watching it all with a small smile on his face. Harry lifts Zayn's arm and pulls it around his waist, his eyes already closed as he moves even closer to him, their foreheads almost touching.

“Night, babe,” He gets out, before his breathing gets calmer.

“Night,” Zayn whispers, smiling, before closing his eyes as well.

\--

Of all of the things Zayn can think of, he never would've seen himself to be the first one to wake up for anything ever, not to mention to turn on his side and spend a full twenty minutes gazing lovingly at the person lying next to him, but both things have happened more than once since he started seeing Harry, and Zayn can't even find it in himself to question it.

Harry snores, quite heavily, but Zayn has been known to be one of the heaviest sleepers in the history of the universe, so it doesn't really bother him too much. Liam says it's just one more reason why the two of them are truly meant to be, and Zayn always rolls his eyes while at the same time feeling a ridiculous jumping sensation in his stomach at the words.

The sun is up, and it must be at least early noon, Zayn decides, trying to glimpse out of the window that is partly covered by the draped curtains while still lying down flat on the bed. Harry makes a little noise in his sleep, sniffling a bit and Zayn turns his eyes back to him. He smiles, lifting a hand to gently stroke a piece of Harry's hair back off his forehead. Harry's lips are pouting slightly, and he's lying on his side, facing Zayn again, as if he hasn't moved at all during the night. Zayn knows that he has though; waking up at 2 in the morning with no duvet on his body proved as much.

Zayn watches him for a minute more before deciding he's waited long enough, and moves over to gently kiss Harry's pouty lips.

Harry sniffles again, giving a little sigh as Zayn moves back. Zayn smiles before moving in for another slightly longer kiss. Harry moves his legs under the duvet and Zayn's smile stays on his face as he starts to gently and slowly pepper Harry's face with more kisses.

Harry groans slightly, turning on his back and moving his face away. Zayn just snickers quietly and starts in on Harry's neck, letting the softness of his kisses linger for a bit. Harry whines a bit, the deep hoarsness of his morning voice coming through, making Zayn bite his lip softly while smiling down at him, before continuing on with his attempts of waking Harry up.

Harry raises a heavy arm, gently swatting at Zayn's head.

“What?” He croaks out, still in a slightly whiny tone.

Zayn props himself up on an elbow to look down at him properly, giving Harry's jaw a little eskimo kiss.

Harry screws up his face cutely, bringing his hand up to lazily rub at his eyes.

“What do you want?” He tries again, still with his eyes closed, as Zayn gives him a final long kiss on his jawbone.

“Want you to look at me so I can see you,” Zayn says softly, his own voice sounding a bit rough. “And talk to you, and be with you.” He smiles down at Harry as he finally turns his face to him, squinting at him through half-open eyes.

“Good morning,” He mumbles, smiling fondly.

“Hi,” Harry says, the roughness to his voice making it sound almost like a whisper.

Zayn huffs out a laugh, and Harry manages a smile at the sound.

“What do you wanna do today?” Zayn asks him, his eyes flitting all over Harry's face.

Harry hums in question, rubbing at an eye.

“I have the day off. And the next actually. You wanna go see a movie or something?”

Harry shrugs a bit, yawning widely, and nodding. He covers his mouth with one hand.

“Yeah, sounds good.” He says, blinking his eyes open wider.

Zayn frowns at him.

“I've got morning breath.” Harry explains.

Zayn's frown deepens and he pulls Harry's hand down before moving in to give him a kiss, a proper one, long and slow and thorough. Harry lets him in almost immediately, and has his eyes closed again when they part, a smile on his face. Zayn gives him a couple more pecks.

“You hungry?” He asks, and Harry nods.

“Yeah,” He sighs, looking at Zayn again. “I'll go make us something.” He gives him a quick peck before sitting up swiftly and getting out of bed.

Zayn stays hoisted up on one elbow, watching Harry stretch, his fingers reaching up towards the ceiling as he groans deep in his throat. Zayn bites his lip.

“Or we could just stay here,” He says after a pause. “Have a quiet night in, like we we're going to yesterday?”

Harry turns around to look at him, running a hand through his unruly hair.

“Maybe watch a couple more episodes of Prison Break?” Zayn suggests, looking up at Harry with raised eyebrows.

Harry smiles, his eyes lighting up a bit and he nods.

“Yeah, that sounds great, let's do that.”

Zayn grins back and drops himself down on his back again, stretching happily.

\--

They're one and a half episodes in when his and Louis' conversation at dinner the previous night starts sneaking up on Zayn. He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it. How Harry and him have been properly together for well over a month now and still have yet to have had sex. Any sort of sex (They make out properly on a regular basis, but that's always where it ends and Zayn is just now really starting to think about that). And even though Zayn had clearly stated that he's absolutely cool with it and it wasn't even really bothering him, he wouldn't actually swear on his life that he was being 100 percent truthful. It _isn't_ a big deal, it really honestly isn't, people have let a much longer time go by in their relationships without having sex, and it's No Big Deal.

Zayn isn't one of those people though.

He wouldn't say he's an expert, he's only had a couple of boyfriends in the past, only one or two really being able to be called anything serious, and none of them lasting for longer than a couple months.

All of them entailing sex within the first couple dates.

When Harry and Zayn became boyfriend and boyfriend they had already gotten to know each other as well as you possibly can in two months. It's not a big deal. But Zayn can't help but wonder exactly why it hasn't happened yet.

He looks at Harry sitting next to him. Zayn's got his arm on the back of the sofa behind Harry who has sunk a little lower to rest his head back comfortably while still looking at the TV, a blanket thrown over his legs. He's got one hand resting on Zayn's thigh, just above his knee that is turned in towards Harry's lap, Zayn sitting lightly with one leg slightly folded underneath himself.

One of the perks of being in a proper relationship with each other is that now Zayn doesn't have to sneak glances at Harry anymore. Now he can look, just turn his entire face towards him and look all he want, a boyfriend privilege he takes full advantage off pretty much all the time, just like he is now.

Harry is looking intently at the screen, so into the details of the plot that his eyebrows are drawn in towards each other in a little furrow. The light from the TV makes his profile look even sharper than usual, and Zayn finds himself staring a little bit. Harry strokes his thumb over Zayn's thigh.

“What?” He asks quietly, still with his eyes on the TV.

“Nothing,” Zayn says, tearing his eyes from Harry's face and looking down at his hand on his leg.

Harry blindly reaches up with the same hand, cupping it behind Zayn's head and dragging his eyes away from the TV for a couple of seconds to draw him down for a little kiss. Zayn sinks into the kiss that ends way too quickly for his liking as Harry lets go of him and settles back to watch the episode again.

Zayn keeps his eyes on Harry's face for a couple of seconds before making a little decision in his head.

He scoots even closer to Harry, moving his own legs a bit to pull up the blanket and lay it over the both of them instead. Harry waits for him to get comfortable before returning his hand on Zayn's thigh to its original position.

Zayn keeps his arm around Harry, moving his face down to nuzzle it against his clothed shoulder. Harry moves to kiss the top of Zayn's head before turning back to watch the screen again. Zayn keeps gently rubbing his nose and lips against Harry's shoulder while watching the TV. He looks down at their laps, seeing Harry's hand move slightly under the blanket, his thumb still stroking Zayn's thigh. Zayn moves his free left hand that isn't laid across Harry's shoulders to gently grasp his bicep, stroking Harry's arm in long, slow motions. Harry doesn't react and Zayn looks at his face before moving in delicately and pressing a kiss to Harry's jaw. He pulls away a bit to look at Harry, who has a small smile on his lips, still watching the TV. Zayn smiles to himself and moves in again, pressing another kiss to his cheek and trailing a few more down towards his neck. He has his eyes half-closed and lets the kisses linger as he peppers them over the bare skin on Harry's neck and his covered shoulder.

“Hey,” He whispers, pulling away and raising his hand from Harry's arm up to his face and gently turning it so Harry's looking at him fully. Harry raises his eyebrows.

Zayn smiles and leans in, capturing Harry's lips in a kiss and deepening it almost instantly. Harry kisses him back for a while, before gently pulling away and looking up at him.

“You okay?” He asks softly.

Zayn smiles, his hand still on Harry's cheek, his thumb stroking it gently. “Yeah, I'm good. You?”

Harry nods, smiling. “This episode is really good.”

Zayn glances at the TV where Michael is attempting to dig himself out through a hole behind his toilet. It is a good episode.

“Mhm,” He hums in agreement, turning back to Harry who is looking at the screen again. Zayn bites his lip.

“Hey,” He says again, starting to kiss Harry's neck and moving his hand down to rest on his stomach instead. He moves his hand back and forth slowly, gently nipping on Harry's earlobe. Harry pulls away just enough for it to not seem like he's too annoyed by Zayn's advances, but also enough for Zayn to frown at his movements.

Harry picks Zayn's hand up from where it's resting on his stomach, kissing the back of it lovingly. Zayn smiles again and moves in for another kiss, Harry turning his face towards him on instinct.

“Zayn,” Harry gets out between kisses.

“What,” Zayn mumbles, enjoying the feeling of Harry's plump lips against his. His hand is back on Harry's stomach, a little lower this time and Harry lays his own on top of it again.

“I'm missing the important bits,” Harry whispers against Zayn's lips, rubbing their noses together before pulling away properly and turning back towards the TV, intertwining their fingers on his stomach.

Zayn sighs softly. Harry is stroking his hand under the blanket and Zayn turns to face the TV as well, trying not to pout and instead focusing on Michael who is now sitting on the floor of his cell, scraping a long screw against the concrete. He's got blood all over him, and Harry looks a bit confused. Zayn is just about to apologise and rewind the episode a couple minutes when his phone vibrates on the sofa beside him.

He gently untangles his fingers from Harry's and picks it up to check, frowning when he sees who it's from.

_You doing anything later tonight, doll? ;)_

He keeps from rolling his eyes, quickly locking his phone and dropping it back onto the sofa. He turns back to look at Harry, but his eyes are still focused on the TV.

“Who was it?” Harry asks, still not looking at him.

“Just Louis checking in.” The lie slips out before Zayn even realises what he's saying, and he catches himself just before his whole body can freeze up. His body language stays casual but he can't keep from frowning at himself, looking away so Harry won't notice.

Harry huffs out a laugh. “Shocking.”

Zayn looks back at him, studying his profile and letting a smile spread across his face. He looks at the table to locate where the remote is and picks it up where it lays on Harry's other side. He rewinds the episode ten minutes, drops the remote beside himself and sinks down further in his seat, moving his arm from around Harry's shoulder and resting his head under Harry's chin. Harry sneaks his arm between Zayn and the sofa, gripping his waist tightly, kisses the top of his head, and settles back again to watch what they missed before.

 

They watch another two episodes and decide to finally go to bed when the clock strikes twelve. They brush their teeth together, Zayn grinning slightly at the two of them in the mirror, thinking of how Louis would be fake gagging if he saw them right now, acting like an old married couple. Harry grins back at him almost as if he knows what he's thinking, and Zayn dribbles a bit of toothpaste down his chin when he lets out a laugh, making Harry giggle and do the same. They rinse their mouths and Zayn pulls Harry in for a long kiss, Harry smiling before saying he needs to use the loo. Zayn goes back into the bedroom while Harry stays in the toilet to relieve himself.

He walks over to Harry's dresser, opening a drawer and is about to fish out a t-shirt to sleep in when he stops himself. He looks up from the drawer and over his shoulder towards the hallway, biting his lip slightly, and lets a small grin fall over his face. He shuts the drawer quickly and undresses, leaving himself in his underwear - a pair of tight boxer briefs, navy blue with a white waistband - and gets into bed under the covers. He lays on his back, adjusting his waistband slightly, lifting the duvet to check himself before laying back comfortably again, waiting for Harry to get back from the bathroom. Harry soon walks back into the bedroom, closing the door behind himself while ruffling his hair a bit, pulling it back away from his face and giving a little cough into his fist. As he moves over to the dresser, he gives a quick glance in Zayn's direction, doing a little double take when he sees that he's not wearing a shirt.

“Oh. You- are you warm?” He asks, his eyes slightly wider than usual, flitting over what he can see of Zayn that isn't covered by the duvet.

“I'm just fine, just didn't feel like wearing a shirt today,” Zayn smiles, lifting a shoulder casually.

Harry stares for another second.

“Uhm, yeah, ok, sure,” He lets out before looking down at the dresser and then up at Zayn again. “You don't mind if I put something on? I'm still a bit cold.”

Zayn shakes his head, shrugging again. “You do whatever you want, babe.” He smiles warmly at Harry.

Harry smiles back, turning to the dresser again and picking out his usual t-shirt and sweatpants. He takes his jumper off and pulls the t-shirt down over his head, Zayn watching his movements closely from the bed, lifting a hand to rest above his head on the pillow. Harry turns away for a bit to take his jeans off, holding on to the dresser so he doesn't slip, and pulls his sweatpants on quickly.

He moves over towards the bed, patting his pockets a bit as if he's looking for his phone.

“I think you left it on the coffee table,” Zayn says helpfully.

Harry looks down at him for a second. Zayn raises his eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah,” Harry says finally, looking around himself. “Be right back.” He walks out of the bedroom to go fetch his phone. Zayn shifts a bit where he's lying, biting his lip and adjusts the waistband of his pants again. He smiles at Harry when he returns. Harry moves over to his night table and plugs the phone in, gets into bed and flicks off the light. He moves to lie on his back, sighing a bit, and making his breath go calmer.

“'Kay. Good night,” Harry says, resting his hands on his stomach over the duvet. It doesn't look too comfortable or relaxed and Zayn frowns a bit, letting out a little laugh.

“Don't I get a kiss?” He asks, laying on his side next to Harry, watching his profile. Harry opens his eyes again, like he truly did forget, and turns to look at Zayn.

“Oh, sorry,” He says, leaning in to kiss him. Zayn just smiles.

“It's alright, babe,” He says before their lips meet, his voice soft.

He presses his lips firmly against Harry's, a bit longer than they usually do before bed.

Harry is the one to pull away, smiling gently at Zayn before turning back to his previous position, flat on his back, closing his eyes with a little smile on his face. Zayn smiles again through an amused frown. He moves closer to Harry on the bed, leaning in to lay a soft kiss on his shoulder, waiting a second before trailing a few up slowly towards his neck, much like he had before on the sofa.

Harry sighs softly, a little wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows, but he moves his head just a fraction to the side to give Zayn more room.

“Are you tired, babe?” Zayn says between kisses to Harry's neck and jaw, his voice almost a whisper.

“Uhm,” Harry starts, seeming a bit distracted by what Zayn's doing to his neck, and Zayn grins a bit, continuing on with his ministrations. “A bit.” Harry says after a couple of seconds.

Zayn raises up on an elbow, hovering above Harry and Harry opens his eyes to look at him. Zayn smiles warmly and leans in to kiss him properly. The kiss is slow and lazy, turning into something deeper fairly quickly. Zayn moves a hand down from cupping Harry's cheek, over his neck and shoulders and rubbing over Harry's chest, finally settling on his ribs. Harry moves his hand up slowly to grip Zayn's bicep, letting it travel to the dip in Zayn's waist. He pulls back a bit, slightly jerkily, looking at where his hand is resting, his breath having gone a bit shallow, drawing the air in and out slowly through the slight gap in between his lips.

Zayn bites his lip softly before moving in to kiss Harry again, Harry moving his chin up to meet him. Zayn starts stroking Harry's side and slowly lifts his left leg to move over Harry's. Harry's grip on Zayn's waist tightens as Zayn rests his leg between Harry's, and Zayn moves it upwards a bit towards Harry's crotch. Something hard and prominent pokes his thigh and they both gasp as they part. Zayn looks down with wide eyes, moving his leg a bit and seeing something potruding under the duvet, very visible in Harry's current position laying flat on his back. He bites his lip down on an excited little grin, looking up at Harry's face again. Harry is looking down at the bulge as well, his cheeks tinted pink, and his eyes wide almost in surprise. He looks back at Zayn, his breath getting quicker as Zayn keeps the small grin on his face, moving in to capture Harry's lips in his own and sneaking his hand in under the covers. He lets it travel down Harry's stomach and before he can even brace himself for it, his hand is over Harry's crotch, gripping the hardness that was making the tent appear under the duvet. Zayn lets his hand roam a bit, trying to gauge the weight and length of what he can only feel without taking a proper look. And even though Zayn has obviously sneaked glances at the area before, confined in Harry's tight jeans and felt an aroused twinge in his stomach at the size of it, it feels big, bigger than he expected, and Zayn lets out a breath into Harry's mouth, of excitement and in pleased surprise.

Harry lets out a noise, sounding like a mix of arousal and surprise, pulling away from the kiss to look down at where Zayn's hand is moving under the covers. He lets it happen for a bit, breathing heavily, before he seems to come to his senses, shoving his hand under the duvet and grasping Zayn's.

“Wait, wait, babe,” He breathes out, gently moving it away up towards his chest.

“What is it?” Zayn asks, his brows furrowed in confusion and concern, looking down at Harry from where he's still leaning on one elbow. He strokes his fingers over Harry's chest, where he's still got Zayn's hand pressed against himself.

“I-,” Harry starts, closing his eyes for a second and steadying his breathing. When he looks up at Zayn again, he looks calmer, but his cheeks are still slightly pink, and Zayn wants to kiss him again so badly. He doesn't, and instead waits for Harry to speak again.

“I'm actually pretty exhausted,” Harry says softly, looking over Zayn's face, an apologetic look in his eyes. “Could we maybe just, sleep? Please?” His eyes are wide in question, a look in them that Zayn can't quite decipher.

Zayn stares at him for a bit, his pulse having quickened over the past couple minutes, and dealing with quite a problem under the duvet himself. He looks into Harry's pleading eyes, letting his disappointment fade and sighing a bit, smiling down at Harry.

“Yeah, of course, babe.”

He leans down to give Harry one final lingering kiss, Harry smiling up at him lovingly as they part.

Zayn lays down on his back, making his breathing slow down as well as possible, and Harry throws an arm over his waist. He pulls the covers in a bit over his crotch so he won't poke Zayn in his side, Zayn deciding to forgoe telling him that he really wouldn't mind, and sighs contentedly, closing his eyes and resting his head on Zayn's shoulder. Zayn rests his hand on Harry's arm laying across him, sighing softly before looking at Harry and feeling a little smile settle on his lips. He buries his nose in Harry's hair, and lets himself be pulled into sleep.

\--

November passes by in a rush and all of a sudden it's a week until December and Christmas music is literally everywhere Zayn goes. The restaurant, Anne's shop, and the gym, whenever he finds himself there to meet up with Harry after a session. It's something he's grown to have a bit of a love-hate relationship with. On the one hand he is always so happy to see Harry, his eyes lighting up whenever he gets out of the changing rooms to see Zayn waiting outside. But then on the other hand, sometimes when he gets there Harry happens to be a bit late, which means he is still inside the gym when Zayn arrives, the gym that has huge glass walls facing the lobby, making it 100 percent visible for everyone who decides to stay there and, for example, wait for their boyfriend to finish lifting weights and join him for a late brunch. Sometimes Harry isn't wearing anything apart from a pair of baggy shorts that still show of a fair bit of his thick muscular thighs, and Zayn's mouth gets a little dry when he inevitably can't seem to force his eyes away from him doing some final stretches before he exits into the changing rooms.

The fact that they are now two months into their relationship and still have only come so far as Zayn grabbing Harry's dick that one time surely isn't helping his frustration while seeing his boyfriend half-naked and sweating with his hair in a messy bun. When Harry spots him standing in the lobby outside waiting for him, his face bursts into a bright smile and he waves, before signaling with his hands that he'll just be a minute. Zayn's heart jumps in his chest at Harry's smile and he grins back before turning around and groaning quietly in hopeless frustration, rubbing his hands over his face and trying to compose himself before Harry emerges from the changing rooms.

He's made several more attempts of trying to make things go further than a casual snog, but whenever the situation arises Harry just tells him that he's tired or that he needs to study, and his eyes always look so genuinely apologetic and like he really can't see a way that would make him be able to participate in the activities that Zayn so desperately is craving for, that Zayn can do nothing but deflate and tell him that it's all good, really.

It's not though. It's been two months and it's not all good. Zayn feels like a dickhead for feeling the way that he is but the lack of explicit physical intimacy between them is starting to affect him more than he would have liked. Greg has kept messaging him as well, not seeming to care or get the hint from Zayn very clearly ignoring him, and the fact that it makes him remember how active his sex life used to be isn't helping the way he feels at night, every time he goes to bed feeling too hot to be able to relax properly.

If Harry is sensing a shift in their relationship or in Zayn's behaviour, he doesn't let on that he is. And Zayn is trying his damnest to not act any differently than before. Harry clearly isn't ready or willing to go any further right now for some reason that Zayn has yet to figure out, and he isn't about to scare him away or make him feel uncomfortable or guilty by throwing a tantrum about his lack of orgasms during these past few months.

He wants to believe that Harry really just is too busy, or too tired, whenever he tries to make things heat up a little bit, but something in the back of his mind is starting to wonder if it's maybe himself who is making things difficult. He's never really felt self-conscious about these kinds of things before, but Harry still not having done anything with him except for engaging in passionate make-out sessions is slowly but surely starting to lead him onto thoughts of him not being desirable enough for his boyfriend.

He goes to sleep most nights feeling restless, burrowing his head under two pillows whenever the noises from Louis' bedroom gets to be too much.

\--

“Still no magic made?”

Zayn looks up from his laptop that he has resting on his thighs. Louis is leaning against the doorframe to his bedroom, giving Zayn a look of almost pity and Zayn rolls his eyes, sighing heavily.

“No, thanks for asking.” He says, glaring at Louis.

Louis laughs at his face.

“You know what,” He says, moving over to sit on the bed by Zayn's feet. “You need to get out of the little worry-hole you've dug yourself into and realise that you're in a wonderful, happy relationship with the man of your dreams, and that getting dicked down really isn't all that life is about.”

Zayn stares at him for a second before reaching over and grabbing one of his pillows and throwing it at Louis' face. Louis doesn't duck in time and is hit full on by the flying object.

“Hey!” He huffs, looking very offended. “Is this really what I'm getting for offering a perfectly decent pep-talk?” He grabs the pillow and stuffs it under an armpit, laying down on his side with the pillow supporting him, his head in his hand.

Zayn just rolls his eyes at Louis' dramatics.

“It's easy for you to say. I heard you two idiots yesterday, thanks for taking your perfectly regular and satisfying sex-life and rubbing it in my face.” He pauses and grimaces at his choice of words, and Louis laughs.

Zayn sighs again, rubbing his face with one hand.

“I don't know, I just- well I know that obviously, I'm so happy with him and I'm not about to ruin what we have over something like this. I just- I don't understand?” His voice comes out a bit more desperate than he would have liked and he winces at himself.

Louis just shrugs. “I don't either, but what can I say. It is what it is, right?”

Zayn huffs out a laugh devoid of any happiness.

“Or,” He sighs in frustration again, really not wanting to ask what he's about to. “I don't know, maybe...does he just not...do that?”

Louis looks at him with a blank face. Zayn raises his eyebrows pointedly.

“What, sex?” Louis looks a bit surprised by the thought.

Zayn nods, biting his lip. Louis freezes into a shrug, a deep frown on his face.

“No?” He says, still frowning. He looks up at the ceiling in thought. “Not that I know of? He certainly wasn't shy about sharing details about his sexual conquerings when we were at school, a randy little bastard to be honest.” Louis laughs as if the memory has just come to him after a long time.

Zayn breathes out a little sigh of relief. It slowly makes a weird feeling appear in his stomach though. If Harry really doesn't have a problem with engaging in sexual activities in general, then that only leaves him with that uncomfortably direful thought of himself being the actual problem at hand.

“That was then though, we haven't really talked about those sort of things in a while,” He frowns to himself again. “Maybe things have changed since then, I don't know. But I don't think that's the thing you have to be worried about.”

Zayn nods slowly at his words. He needs to count it as a win at the moment, and not focus on the thoughts that the new information wants to lead him onto. It's no use getting anxious about it now anyway.

“It's just a matter of time, mate.” Louis says, looking impressively convinced by his own words. “He has been pretty swamped lately. Besides, it's not like you can't take care of yourself, right?” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Zayn hasn't even really thought about doing that, for a pretty long time. He took care of himself pretty casually a couple of times when him and Harry had just gotten together, but lately he's just been so distracted worrying about the situation at hand that he hasn't really stopped to think about the fact that sex with yourself is a fairly decent second option. He frowns and scolds himself for ever getting so caught up in something that he forgets that he has a whole right arm at his full disposal.

“Didn't Greg show his generosity that one time, proving that he wasn't a complete waste of space?” Louis continues, a little smirk on his face, giving Zayn a pointed look.

Zayn bites down on a smirk of his own, pouting his lips in thought and looks over towards his night dresser.

Louis is grinning widely when Zayn looks back at him. “See? All good in the hood.”

Zayn snorts, feeling a bit uplifted after the chat. A thought pops into his head and he decides to share it with Louis.

“You know he's still texting me and shit?” He says, grimacing slightly and shaking his head.

“What? Greg?” Louis' face looks disgusted all of a sudden. Zayn nods.

“Why?” Louis sounds so offended and outraged Zayn almost laughs.

“Dunno,” He mutters, pulling out his phone and looking at it before dropping it beside him on the bed. “I haven't answered though, obviously. Fucking idiot can't seem to take a hint.”

His tolerance towards Greg has lowered considerably since being with Harry properly and Zayn feels himself slowly but surely being cleansed of every memory and touch they ever shared every time Harry smiles at him or kisses him.

“Well, have you told him about you and Harry?” Louis asks, frowning still.

Zayn shakes his head, starting to feel weird thinking of the fact that he hasn't.

“No, I don't wanna talk to him,” He says, giving his phone a little glare as if it's Greg lying there next to him.

“Maybe telling the tosser that you're not available to him anymore might make him shut up,” Louis suggests, giving him a look as if that's an obvious solution. Which it probably would be, and Zayn finds himself wondering why he hasn't done that already.

He just shrugs it off, not really wanting to deal with that at the moment. Greg will leave off eventually.

“Just delete his contact and block his number, problem's solved,” Louis says. Zayn nods, sitting still on the bed. Louis gives him a look.

“Oh,” Zayn picks up his phone to do just that when it suddenly buzzes in his hand. A text from Harry lights up the screen. Zayn smiles and opens the message.

“What now?” Louis asks, still reclining at the foot of the bed, looking very comfortable.

Zayn holds up a finger and taps out a reply. Louis scoffs loudly, and Zayn grins at the sound.

He locks his phone once he's done and moves his laptop off his thighs and gets up.

“Harry's done at the shop, he wants to meet up.” He says, grabbing his wallet lying on his dresser, pocketing it and walking over to his wardrobe to pick out a nice jumper.

“Ah, well,” Louis sighs, turning to lie on his back. “I guess I'll just stay here then, all alone.”

“Hey, you got yours about seventeen times last night, let me have this, alright?”

Louis snorts, sitting up. “Actually I think Liam might still be at the gym, I might sneak over there and creep on him for a bit.”

\--

Harry asks Zayn to meet him at Regent's Park, Zayn wondering for a second why they can't just meet at the shop as usual, but he brushes it off, says goodbye to Louis by the station and gets on the tube to head over there.

It's not too cold of a day luckily, and Zayn feels pretty content in his jacket with the fur collar, walking with his hands in his pockets to where Harry is waiting in the park. The streets around the park are already decorated for Christmas and he is smiling as he enters the park, feeling the giddyness of this time of year start to creep up on him finally.

He keeps a look out for a head of brown curls and smiles to himself when he spots him standing by a bench on the side of the gravel path.

Harry turns around to look in Zayn's direction, perking up when he sees him coming.

“Hi,” He says warmly, pulling Zayn in for a long kiss, cupping a hand on the back of Zayn's head.

Zayn hums into the kiss, gripping Harry's elbow slightly, before pulling back and smiling brightly at him.

“Hello, babe, you alright?” He asks, grabbing Harry's hands as they part.

“Yeah, I'm good,” Harry smiles. “Come on, walk with me?”

 

They stroll through the park for a bit, hand in hand, talking about Harry's day at the shop and then about anything and everything that comes to mind. Zayn feels so at peace, and barely notices when it starts getting darker, the lamp posts dotted around the park lighting up as they're walking.

Harry suddenly stops, right by the three story fountain, and turns to Zayn to face him fully.

Harry lets out a large breath, looking into Zayn's eyes and smiling. He looks almost a bit nervous and Zayn raises his eyebrows slightly, smiling back at him.

“Are you alright, babe?” He asks, lifting a hand up to tuck Harry's hair behind his ear, a movement that they've grown so accustomed to. Harry nods and grabs Zayn's hand in his as he lets it linger by Harry's head. He grasps both of Zayn's hands and looks down at where they're holding on to each other between them. Zayn studies his face as he looks down, starting to get a bit nervous now.

“Harry?” He asks again.

Harry looks up quickly, nodding again.

“Yeah, I'm good, I'm fine,” He says, a bit breathlessly. “Are you good? Are you cold?” He asks as the wind picks up a bit, making Zayn squint for a second.

“No, I'm good,” Zayn reassures him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm fine, babe,” Zayn smiles.

Harry lets out a big sigh again.

“Right, well,” He starts looking down at their hands again, before catching himself and lifting his head to look at Zayn fully. “You look- perfect.” He blurts out. Zayn laughs a bit, staring back at him.

“Thank you, babe. So do you. Are you sure you're okay?” He asks, a slight frown on his face now.

Harry nods, smiling at him.

“Yeah, I just...well, first of all I just wanna apologise for the way I've been acting lately.” He says, and Zayn feels his pulse pick up. _Shit, here we go_.

“I just want you to know that, it's got nothing to do with you, I've just been really, I don't know, stressed lately. And that you're perfect. You really are.”

Zayn's gaze flit between Harry's eyes. Harry's words make him feel warm inside but for some reason, he's expecting a 'but' after all of this and the thought is making him feel a bit ill. He nods along to Harry's words, a small smile still on his lips.

“Okay,” He starts softly. “Why are we here, Harry?”

Harry seems to shake himself out of his thoughts suddenly, and looks around them as if he's just remembering where they are.

“Oh. I don't know, I just,” He shrugs. “I just thought that this would be a nice place to tell you that-” He catches himself, and looks back at Zayn with wide eyes. “That,” He takes a breath. “I love you.”

He says it like it's the most natural and obvious answer he could ever have come up with, and he follows it up with a shrug of his shoulder, that same look appearing on his face as when he told Zayn he wanted to be with him for the first time. A little smile follows it, something in it asking Zayn the simple question of ' _what do you think?_ '.

Zayn stares for a couple of seconds, before he bursts out into a relieved laugh, ducking his head and burrowing his face in his hands.

Harry looks confused when he looks at him between his palms, rubbing them along the side of his face, still laughing a bit, a big smile on his face. Harry is smiling still, but there's a hint of nervousness in it and both his hands are fiddling with the rings on his fingers, now hanging loosely at his sides after Zayn dropped them so suddenly.

“What?” He asks, looking so confused and unsure and so very wonderful that Zayn can do nothing but reach for the collar of his jacket and pull him down into a hard kiss. Harry sinks into it immediately, and they're both smiling as they part after a few long seconds.

“God, I almost thought you were gonna- I don't even know,” Zayn mumbles happily when they have their foreheads resting together. “I love you too, babe. So, so much.”

\--

December finally arrives and Zayn's mum decides go come into the city and take Zayn Christmas shopping. She meets up with him at the flat, wanting to see how he's living and if he really is being the organised adult that she claims to have raised him to be. Zayn completely forgets about the time and is reading in bed, with Harry's head in his lap when he gets the text saying that she is ten minutes away.

He tries his best to tidy up the place as much as possible, Harry helping him put the dishes in the dishwasher and clean up the livingroom as quickly as they can. Zayn tells Harry he is more than welcome to stay so Harry does, deciding to catch up on some of the coursework that he always brings with him in his bag, and never actually does whenever he comes over.

Harry is standing in the hallway ready to say hi when Zayn opens the door for Trisha. Zayn hasn't told his family about Harry yet so the look of surprise and interest is more than warranted, and Zayn feels slightly guilty and awkward for a second before Harry steps forward to shake her hand, introducing himself and letting Zayn add the tiny but important detail of this actually being his boyfriend.

Harry and Trisha seem to hit it off, Trisha not being able to wipe the grin off her face after fully grasping the situation, scolding Zayn cheerfully about not telling her about Harry, making the guilt creep up again, not just because of not telling his mum but also for Harry's sake. But Harry just shrugs his shoulder, smiling and saying that they've been taking it slow (which Zayn guesses is half-true), but that he is very happy to meet her at last, Zayn having told him so many wonderful things.

He has her charmed in about ten seconds, and Zayn can do nothing but look on in happiness.

\--

The first week of December flies by and work builds up a bit for Zayn. Luckily he was very quick to ask for at least Christmas Day and Boxing Day off, before most people at the restaurant, and got an okay for both days. He's working Christmas Eve still, but Zayn isn't too bothered by it, if anything it just means double the pay which is never a bad thing.

He gets a day off in the middle of the week, two weeks into the month, and plans on sleeping in for as long as he possibly can before he goes to meet Harry at Selfridges. Somehow, through a friend from school who had to pull out last minute, Harry has gotten a gig as none other than Father Christmas himself, being made to sit in a chair for a couple of days this week and ask the children visiting the store who want to have a private word with Santa, what they want in their stockings this year. Louis almost died of laughter when he found out, but Zayn thinks it's just about the most precious thing he's ever had to picture in his whole life, Harry sitting and conversing with the little kids, probably taking his role very seriously and listening intently to every word they have to say.

Even though he was planning on sleeping until at least noon, for some unnecessary reason, he wakes up at 9 am, and can't seem for the life of him to be able to go back to sleep. He feels hot, and twists and turns in his bed for a while until he faces defeat, tells his body to kindly fuck off and gets up to make himself some breakfast instead.

After eating a couple slices of toast, he makes himself another cup of tea and settles in front of the TV, deciding that the day might soon pick up as he stumbles upon a Fresh Prince marathon, and settles down comfortably to enjoy it along with his lovely hot beverage.

A couple of hours pass and as the marathon comes to an end he decides he may as well take a shower and fix himself up now that he's got all this time on his hands. He takes a long shower, standing under the warm spray with closed eyes after he's scrubbed himself clean, just enjoying the feel of the hot water on his skin.

He puts his hands flat on the wall in front of him, leaning his head down under the water and letting it fall over his neck and back. He sighs contentedly, moving his head in slow circles, letting the movements stretch his neck and rolls his shoulders a bit, trying to work out some kinks.

He hums as he feels his muscles stretch after being still for so long, and lets out a deep sigh, his eyes closed and his head hanging down between his arms.

Straightening back up again, he keeps his eyes closed and moves his hands up towards the ceiling, standing on his tip toes and making his body as long as possible. He slumps back again after making a pleased whining sound, sighing and running his palms up his face and over his hair and down his neck. He lets his hands rub lower on his chest as he lets them drop and accidentally brushes against his nipples.

He freezes up a bit, opening his eyes and looking down at his chest, his hands having settled just underneath on his stomach.

All of a sudden the fact that he still hasn't been touched, by anyone, in too fucking long, rushes into him like a freight train. He bites his bottom lip gently, and looks down at himself. His cock is already beginning to harden and Zayn lifts his head up, closing his eyes. He runs a hand through his hair, making sure there are no products left in it, before turning the water off and stepping out of the shower.

He dries himself gently with a towel, forgetting about his condition for one second and gasping as he rubs it over his crotch, dropping the towel as if he's been burned. Feeling something rub against his dick with such vigour almost feels weird after all this time, and Zayn looks down again, shaking his head at himself, laughing slightly at the situation. He kicks the towel out of the way, and reaches a hand down to gently rub a palm against the length of his cock, closing his eyes and letting a slow breath out at the feeling. He forces his hand away, sighing harshly and looking up into the mirror at himself before quickly bending down and picking the towel up to hang it to dry. He starts making for the bedroom before a thought pops into his head and he bites his lip, freezing for a second, a boyish grin falling over his face, and he turns around to open the bathroom cabinet and pulls out a dry towel before heading to his bedroom.

The conversation he'd had with Louis not too long ago, and the suggestion that had been made during has popped into Zayn's head a few times since. It's only been a fleeting thought and he'd never really been able to do something about it, but it always leaves him with a sharp twinge of arousal low in his belly. So now that Zayn enters his bedroom, closing the door behind him, still with hours to spare, he heads directly to his night dresser and opens the drawer, taking out a bottle of lube, and reaching a bit further in to pull out the black vibrator that Greg so cheekily gave him about a month into their purely sexual relationship.

He's used it only a handful of times, always whenever Greg was busy with work or out of town for the weekend, but that was a long time ago, and holding it in his hand now, all six inches of it, has his breathing already getting deeper at the memories.

He drops both objects in his hands on the bed, and unfolds the towel tucked under his armpit, laying it flat on the covers before getting on the bed.

He lays down on his back, getting comfortable and moving the towel so it's laying prefectly under his bum, wiggling it a bit against the fabric before relaxing. He sits up slightly and pulls the pillows on his bed to lay comfortably under his head, propping it up a bit so he can see clearly down his body. He lays himself flat finally, one leg bent slightly, the knee facing out towards the side of the bed. Zayn closes his eyes, letting all thoughts leave his head for just a moment, and starts moving his hand down his body.

He lets his right hand gently stroke over his abdomen, nails scraping lightly over his skin. His breathing grows calm and he lifts his left hand to graze his fingertips over a nipple. He lets out slow breaths, trying to keep himself as collected as possible for as long as he can, pinching the nipple gently between two fingers.

He bites his lip softly and opens his eyes to look down at his right hand, travelling lower still and finally lets himself close a hand around his now rock hard cock. He breathes out a sigh of content, biting down on a little smile and watching his hand move slowly up and down, his grip getting firmer and the pace of his chest moving up and down speeding up just a bit.

He lets go of his cock and looks down next to himself on the bed, reaching for the bottle of lube and squeezing out a drop into the palm of his right hand. He shuts the cap with a click and drops the bottle to the mattress again, putting his hand back on his cock, the new, smooth glide of it making him close his eyes and let out a quiet moan. He keeps playing with his nipples, moving his hand over the right one and giving it a gentle tug, making himself gasp.

After a while, he gives the nubs that are now starting to get a bit swollen a break and moves his left hand down to join his right by his crotch. He gently cups his balls, feeling the weight of them in his hand and rolling them slowly with his fingers. His mouth is open now, letting the breaths push out deeper and heavier and he lets his hands shift places with each other. Wanking off with his left hand is nothing new and he quickly develops a slow rhythm, tugging firmly now, while moving his slick right hand even further down between his legs, and as he feels the first graze of his fingertips against his entrance he finally lets out a proper moan.

Once he's made contact he can't seem to stop himself and he rubs firmly with his three middle fingers over his hole, the lube making it slick and so, so good. He keeps up his ministrations with his left hand and his brows furrow a bit at the wonderful feeling.

The circles his fingers are making on his rim get smaller and smaller and when he feels himself relaxing completely he slowly starts pushing in with his middle finger, biting his lip at the feeling that he hasn't felt in so long. He quickly starts pumping it in and out – the movement he always prefers when in this situation – despite the slight burning sensation, feeling very impatient all of a sudden, and adding another finger sooner than he probably should. He breathes deeply and as evenly as possible as he fits his ringfinger in beside the first one as well as he can. The position he's in is not ideal, but then again, fingering yourself can never quite measure up to having someone else do it for you anyway. And with that thought going through his mind his head is all of a sudden, in the blink of an eye, absolutely flooded with thoughts of Harry.

His hands, the broadness of his back, the deepness of his voice and his muscular thighs and hard chest. He imagines Harry's fingers inside of him instead of his own, and has to bite down on a whine that all of a sudden wants to burst out of his lungs.

He roughly shoves a third finger in with the others, grunting from the stinging sensation, but it fades away quicker this time and Zayn lets his mind drift away to thoughts of Harry in the gym, his hair up in a bun and his neck and chest shining with sweat. He thinks about Harry's biceps glistening as he lifts the heavy weights and then he thinks about those same biceps bulging as Harry presses him down into the mattress with a big hand on the small of his back and he curls his fingers up inside of himself and lets out a shaky moan.

Scissoring and seperating his fingers as well as he can, he tries to stretch himself as quickly as possible, all of a sudden desperate for more, deciding he's had enough when his longest finger brushes against that little spot inside of him, making his whole body jerk in surprise. He chokes out a gasp and stills his movements completely for a couple of seconds, breathing deeply, his chest moving up and down slowly, forcing himself to calm down. Slowly and gently, he starts easing his fingers out of himself, biting his lip as he inadvertently clenches down on them when his fingertips are about to pass by his rim. He frees his fingers finally, his hole clenching around nothing, and he just breathes for a bit, before he picks up the vibrator and the bottle of lube.

Uncapping the bottle, he feels how hard his heart is beating. His chest is flushed pink and he's started to sweat, a slight sheen appearing in the hollow of his throat. Holding both the vibrator and the bottle completely still, he lets a steady stream of liquid fall down onto the toy, the lube gliding down the side of it and towards his hand. Deciding it's enough, he caps the lid and drops the bottle down on the bed, closing a fist around the length of the toy and pumping it like he would a cock.

He bites his bottom lip, and moves the black vibrator down towards his entrance. He doesn't put it in right away though, taking such pleasure in teasing himself and also wanting the feeling to last for as long as possible, and instead he starts rubbing the tip of it against his perineum, slowly, up and down, up and down. His breaths are getting shaky and he leans his head back a bit, letting his other hand slide down his body to cup his balls, moving them up and out of the way as well as he can. The gliding of the toy against his skin travels downwards until he is doing the same motions, but over his hole this time. Deciding to go for gold, he moves another hand down to grip the toy and twists the bottom. The vibrator buzzes to life and he shuts his eyes tighly, biting his lip as he just holds the toy against his entrance. A whimper escapes from his mouth and he keeps moving the vibrator up and down over his hole again, shivering at the sensations of feeling it buzzing against him. He's starting to pant, his breathing getting heavy and sharp and he leans up on one elbow, looking down at his hand moving the toy along his crack. Thoughts of Harry float back into his head and he bites down a groan, turning the vibrator off quickly before finally pushing the tip of it inside himself.

He pushes it halfway inside before he starts to move it in and out, building up a nice pace, slowly and steadily. His eyes are closed and his mouth is open, letting out pants as he feels the toy drag against his rim deliciously. He lays back down flat on his bed again, his legs spread wide, and sticks three fingers in his mouth, sucking on them enthusiastically, making them slick with his spit. He pops the fingers out of his mouth and starts to circle his left nipple, letting the air cool the spit he spreads on it and making it harden. He gives it a sharp tug before letting thoughts of Harry completely flood his brain once more.

Zayn thinks about his large hands, one of his favourite things about his body, which leads him onto thinking of just about everything else. Every part of Harry's body is his favourite, but his thoughts fly away to focus on the one part he hasn't gotten as well acquainted with as he would have liked. The part of his body that he has been craving to feel for so long. He thinks about the bulge in Harry's tight jeans, the way it looks, the size of it, and the way it had felt when he had finally gotten the chance to put his hand on it properly. How hard it had been and how Harry had panted as Zayn slowly stroked his hand over it, over _all_ of it, and he swiftly pushes the vibrator the rest of the way in. A loud moan is released from his throat and his left hand quickly leaves his nipple, moving down to cup his balls again.

His right hand is speeding up rapidly now and his breathing is coming out in little moans everytime the toy is pushed inside. The fingertips on his left hand travel down to his perineum that is still slick with lube from before, and he starts rubbing the skin there, the feeling making his body shiver, goosebumps appearing over his entire body. He imagines Harry in the place of the toy inside of him, pumping into him in hard thrusts, holding his hands down by his head while panting and staring intensely into his eyes, and a desperate moan leaves his throat before he can even try to choke it down. His belly is tingling and he can feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge, letting the movements of his right hand increase in speed even more. The squelching sounds of the vibrator pumping in and out of himself are loud in the otherwise quiet room, but Zayn can barely hear them anymore, the moans flowing out of his mouth having increased in volume over the past few minutes. His left arm leaves his body and he lifts it up to instead grab onto the pillow under his head, grasping it so tightly, the muscles in his arm potruding. His whole right arm is starting to get tired but he keeps up his sharp movements, and he raises his hips slightly up towards the ceiling and starts to angle the toy, the tip of it brushing against his prostate now on every thrust.

His moans turn into choked out whimpers, high in his throat and as he pushes the vibrator violently inside himself grazing his spot over and over, he is coming, shooting up against his chest in sharp bursts. He keeps thrusting the toy in and out of himself through it all, letting his pace calm down as his orgasm lingers, the feeling so intense and making his whole body shake, his breathing being pushed out in trembling gasps.

Eventually, when he's come down a bit, he gently eases the vibrator out of himself, letting out a slow and heavy sigh as it finally slides out completely. He drops it down on the towel between his legs and lets both hands flop down on the bed on either side of his head. His breathing is still coming out of him like he's just participated in the London marathon, but it's calmer now, and slowly, an exhausted grin spreads across his lips. He can't remember when he had such an intense orgasm, or if he has even ever had one like it. Coming untouched has always been his favourite, making the inevitable climax feel so much more rewarding and powerful. But that certainly was something else.

He looks down at the cum cooling on his skin, a bit of it having shot as far up as his actual chest, some of it managing to have hit his right nipple full on. He lifts a hand to stroke a couple fingers through the stickyness and huffs out a giddy laugh, almost giggling at what just happened, before letting the hand fall down on the bed once more, palm up, and closes his eyes again, letting his breathing slowly but surely get completely even.

\--

He's still smiling almost in a daze, as he is going down the escalator in Selfridges. He made himself come again while taking another shower, washing the cum on his chest away and somehow suddenly finding his hand around his cock. It had been your standard, ordinary wank, but lovely all the same, and he feels completely fucked out at he gets off the escalator on the ground floor, having been in such a state of calm satisfaction that he had completely forgotten where he was supposed to go when entering the department store, going up the escalator to the second floor for no reason at all.

He tries to shake himself out of his daze for a bit, and starts to navigate himself in the direction of Santa's Grotto. It looks like an igloo this year, he sees when he starts to get closer to the secluded little area, following the directions, and he smiles to himself at the thought of Harry having to spend so much time inside it. It's just a couple of minutes to 6, so Harry should be just about done by now. There's no one standing outside the Grotto so Zayn just slips inside, being greeted by the smell of ginger biscuits and hot chocolate. And by the sight of Harry, fully decked out in the most elaborate Santa Claus outfit Zayn has ever seen. He barely manages to suppress a snort as Harry turns around from where he is tidying up the place, hearing someone having joined him in the little igloo. Harry grins brightly when he sees that it's Zayn, a big white beard covering the lower part of his face. It looks ridiculous, but also pretty impressively done.

Zayn can't hold back his giggle as Harry spread his arms out in a little 'ta-da' gesture.

“Pretty convincing,” He says, giving Harry a once over, a big smile on his face. “Got time for one more?” He bites his lip, grinning at Harry teasingly.

Harry keeps his smile on his face, moving back to sit on his throne and slaps his leg, looking up at Zayn happily. Zayn laughs again, walking over and sitting down.

“You look absolutely ravishing, love,” He says looking down at Harry from his seat on his lap, a laugh still bubbling in his throat. Harry waggles his eyebrows comically, one arm around Zayn's waist and the other on his thigh, pulling him closer up on his lap.

“Thankfully, I look pretty nice in red,” He says, shrugging in mock-arrogance. Zayn laughs.

“You do, I certainly would not mind letting you fill _my_ stocking,” He says, grinning cheekily, looking Harry up and down, and Harry snorts wildly, cackling out a big laugh. Zayn looks on in fond delight.

“Oh dear,” Harry giggles, pulling Zayn closer yet. “Naughty,” He mumbles through a grin as he moves in to kiss him.

“Not sorry about it,” Zayn smiles against his lips, letting their kiss deepen slightly.

“Hello? Excuse me,” A voice is heard from just outside the entrance to the igloo, and they both jump, parting quickly and Zayn swiftly hops off Harry's lap to stand beside the big chair.

Just in time for Harry to sort his coat out a woman holding the hand of a little girl pokes her head out from around the corner of the little tunnel that makes the entrance to the Grotto.

“Sorry, hi,” The woman who looks to be in her thirties smiles at them both a bit hesitantly, the little girl in a pretty, red coat holding her hand firmly with her eyes fixed on Harry, lifting a small hand up to fiddle with her lips. “There was no one outside so we thought we'd just pop in to see if you were still here.” She says, looking at Harry with raised eyebrows, a hopeful look on her face.

A big smile quickly appears on Harry's face. “Hello!” He says brightly, looking at them both.

The woman's smile gets bigger too.

“I really don't mean to be a bother, I know you're supposed to close at 6 but, I was just wondering if it was possible for my daughter to get a quick picture with you, she's been so excited all week to meet Father Christmas, and I'd hate for her mummy being late from work to stop her from doing that.” She looks genuinely apologetic, but Harry just shakes his head.

“Of course! With me there's always time. I parked my sleigh on the perfect space so I wouldn't have to rush back to it in a hurry.” He says, looking down at the little girl with a kind smile. She smiles tentatively back at him behind her hand.

Her mother smiles thankfully up at him, leading her daughter forwards and up the small steps to greet Harry who sits in his chair, an arm stretched out to the little girl. Her mum whispers a couple of soothing words to her and she finally reaches up to take Harry's hand, letting him pull her up and gently sit her down on his lap. Her mother steps back, smiling at the scene, and turning her gaze to Zayn who is standing a bit away from the chair, a look on her face as if she's just noticed he's there.

“Oh, hello,” She says, slightly startled. Zayn gives her a polite smile back, nodding in response.

“Well, hello there.” Harry starts to talk to the little girl in his lap. “What's your name, little one?”

She's staring up at him with big eyes, mouth slightly parted in wonderment, and Zayn can't keep from smiling at the scene.

“I'm Zoey,” She says after a couple of seconds.

“And how old are you, Zoey?” Harry says joyfully, making his voice even deeper than normal, and Zayn shivers inadvertently before shaking his head slightly and focusing on the present.

“'m five,” She says, voice dragging over the words, so very childlike. Zayn tries not to coo out loud.

“Well, then you're not little at all, are you?” Harry says, his eyebrows having risen high up on his forehead. Zoey smiles shyly, shaking her head a bit. “Now, Zoey, you might think that since it's already December, that the elves might not get your wishes in on time, but I can assure you, as soon as we're done here, I'm sending a telegram back to the North Pole, first thing.”

Her eyes get even wider, her mouth falling open again, and she stares at Harry as if she can barely believe what he's saying.

“So, now, tell me Zoey,” Harry starts, making his voice sound as if what he's about to say will be the most important thing he's ever said in his whole life. “What would you like for Christmas this year?”

Zoey closes her mouth, pouting a bit like she's trying not to let anything out.

“Hm?” Harry pushes gently.

She shrugs her little shoulders. “I don't know.”

“You don't know?” Harry looks at her with kind eyes, his voice soft, sounding slightly shocked by her answer. “Are you sure?”

She shrugs again.

“There must be something that you would _really_ like to find under your tree on Christmas Day. Think hard for a second, but don't rush,” He says, looking at her expectantly.

She looks down at her lap for a bit, thinking, before glancing over to her mother who is standing below the steps, smiling still. Zoey looks back up at Harry. She shrugs again.

“A kitten,” She says finally, her eyes wide and suddenly filled with hope.

“ _Ah_ ,” Harry drags out the sound. “A kitten? That is a very good and big wish. Now, if you were to find a little kitten sitting under the tree when you wake up on Christmas morning, would that make you so happy?”

Zoey nods her head quickly. “Yeah.”

Harry nods back, smiling warmly. “Then I'll put my finest elves on the case. Does that sound alright?”

Zoey nods again, smiling brightly now. “Yeah.” She says again. Harry smiles down at her and is just about to open his mouth to say something when Zoey's gaze suddenly turn to Zayn, and Harry stops himself, watching her eyes widen. Her eyes lock with Zayn's for a moment before she lights up a bit.

“Are you an elf?”

Zayn freezes, taken aback by the sudden question before he glances at Harry who's smiling so wide.

“Yes,” He decides to play along and looks back at her. “I am.”

She smiles in delight before her eyes look down at his clothes; a thick winter jacket, the one with the fur collar, and some skinny jeans and Dr. Martens boots. Her face falls a bit, suddenly looking very doubtful.

“You don't look very much like an elf.” She says, looking back up in his eyes.

“Well,” Zayn starts, thinking. “That's because I'm working undercover. I'm on a very secret mission, just for today.”

Zoey's eyes look like they're about to burst out of her skull.

“I was actually just about to pop round a nearby pet-shop when you came in,” Zayn continues, clasping a hand over his mouth in pretend horror after having blurted out his secret. Zoey gasps and turns around to look at her mother.

“Mummy, did you hear that?” She says excitedly.

“I heard, sweetheart,” Her mum answers, nodding back at her with bright eyes. Zoey turns back to look at Harry and Zayn sees her mother's shoulders slump in defeat, and he bites down on a little smile.

“Did you hear that, Father Christmas, can you believe it?” She says, almost jumping on Harry's lap in excitement.

“Of course I did! Who do you think gave him such an idea in the first place?” He says, looking slightly mischievous and secretive all of a sudden.

“Am I gonna get a kitten under my tree, Father Christmas?” She almost squeals in delight, looking up at Harry with a big grin on her face. Harry laughs a bit.

“Well, I can't promise _anything_ I'm afraid, and it is after all a big, big secret. But what I can say, is that I have just bumped up your wish to the top of my list.”

Zoey looks about ready to burst with happiness, and she opens her mouth to say something before stopping herself and shrinking back, looking very shy all of a sudden. Harry raises his eyebrows in question.

“Can I have a hug, please?” She asks in a small voice, her little fists pressed up against her chest to keep her from throwing her arms around Harry too soon. Harry's face breaks into a big, kind smile, and he nods.

“Of course you can, come here.” And Zayn feels his heart absolutely melting in his chest.

 

Zoey and her mum stay for a while longer, her mum snapping a few pictures of her daughter chatting with Santa Claus and then of the two of them smiling brightly into the camera.

When Zoey is leaving she gives a final big and lingering hug to Harry before she turns and walks down the steps to Zayn and gives him one as well, thanking him for bringing her a kitten for Christmas (“I love you, mister elf” and Zayn almost dies on the spot). Zayn sees her mother about to open her mouth at that, but he just smiles and says that it's his absolute pleasure, and that he loves her too, very much.

\--

”I love you so much.”

They're standing on the sidewalk just outside of Selfridges main entrance, Harry with a bag over his shoulder and his hands resting firmly on Zayn's hips, and Zayn with his hands in Harry's curls, looking up at him like he honestly can't believe his luck.

”You made that little girl's day,” He is smiling up at him, his eyes so full of love and adoration he is thankful that he can't see himself, because he'd probably give himself a slap across the face for looking so disgustingly smitten. But he can't help it, so he just leans in to give Harry a long close-mouthed kiss, only moving a couple of inches away when they part.

Harry smiles back with the same look in his hooded eyes, smiling down at Zayn and shrugging a shoulder.

”Eh, I'm here to spread the Christmas joy, aren't I, I'm just doing my duty.” Harry says, a silly smirk on his face. Zayn laughs and shakes his head, giving him another firm kiss.

”Hey, you wanna go out tonight?” Harry asks as they start walking hand in hand down the street.

Zayn makes a questioning humming noise, looking up at Harry with raised brows. Harry shrugs.

”I just thought, I'm finished with all of my coursework for the year,” Zayn smiles and squeezes his hand proudly, looking down on the pavement as they walk. ”It's Christmas,” Harry continues.

”It's not technically Christmas, yet,” Zayn fills in.

”The decorating team at Selfridges beg to differ.”

Zayn laughs.

”You up for it?” Harry asks, looking at him as they come to a stop by a crossing. Zayn shrugs, smiling. ”Yeah, why not?” Harry smiles and leans in to give him a kiss just before the light switches.

\--

Louis and Liam agree that it's a great idea when Harry and Zayn tell them about their plans and ask them to join, and they all end up in a newly opened nightclub in Kensal Rise.

The club is divided into two different sections. There's a fairly crowded room where the dance floor is, and another area with a bar where you can sit down comfortably, with a ceiling made of glass making the dark night sky visible from inside. Both rooms are dimly lit in pink and purple tones and even though the music in the second room isn't as loud as on the dancefloor, you still have to raise your voice or sit quite close together to properly hear what each other are saying.

They move straight to the bar, ordering eight shots and downing them quickly, and then getting another drink each before moving over to an empty table in a corner. They sit and chat animatedly and loudly for a while, letting the alcohol sink into their bloodstreams before Liam drags a half-protesting Louis off into the proper clubroom. Harry and Zayn laugh at them as they go before turning back to enjoy each other's company.

After finishing their drinks Zayn leaves for the bar again to order them another round, coming back with a bottle of beer and a shot in each hand.

“God,” Harry laughs as he helps Zayn set it all down on the table. “I'm glad I'm not working tomorrow, Santa with a hangover would've been too traumatising for the little ones to witness.” Zayn laughs, and they clink their shots together before downing them in one.

Liam and Louis are still gone when they're starting to finish their beers and Zayn looks over in the direction of the dancefloor, a decidedly unsober thought popping in his head.

“Wanna dance, babe?” He leans in to say into Harry's ear. Harry leans away to look at him with a disbelieving smile, knowing that dancing isn't exactly one of Zayn's most favoured pastimes.

“Really?” He asks doubtfully, smiling cheekily at Zayn.

“Yeah,” Zayn says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, furrowing his brows at the look on Harry's face.

Harry laughs and moves to stand up. “Alright then,” He says, pulling Zayn up and behind himself, leading them both to the dancefloor. They push into the crowd, the music pulsing in Zayn's chest, and Harry turns around to face him again when they've almost reached the middle of the room.

They jump around wildly to the thumping music, a sort of mix between House and RnB beats, and Zayn feels freer than he has in a long time, laughing with Harry as they both dance till they're just as sweaty as the rest of the people around them. They probably look like absolute nutbags, their moves having little to no coordination, but none of them care, and it's amazing.

They fall into each other, still laughing, Zayn's arms on Harry's shoulders and Harry's hands steady on Zayn's waist as they stumble a little to the side, yelping at the same time and bursting out into laughter again at the absolute mess of them. The music suddenly changes from the fast, thumping beats to something decidedly slower, and more sensual. Zayn detects Drake's voice coming out of the speakers, some remix that he's never heard before starting to play and the two of them take a second to breathe for a bit, still smiling goofily at each other.

After a while Zayn starts swaying slowly to the music, still looking up into Harry's face, snorting a bit at his wild hair and flushed cheeks. He looks absolutely lovely. Harry pouts at the sound and it makes Zayn laugh even more, and he leans in to press a comforting kiss in apology to Harry's lips, feeling Harry smile against his mouth. They part, and Harry starts moving to the music as well, biting his lip jokingly as he swivels his hips in a ridiculous, over the top manner. Zayn chuckles at him and moves in to press their foreheads together. Harry huffs out a laugh, still a bit breathless, letting his arms move fully around Zayn's waist. Zayn smiles and closes his eyes, humming softly in his throat, loud enough for only Harry to hear.

The beat is slow and heavy, and Zayn lifts his hands up to rest lazily behind Harry's head, his forearms laying comfortably on his broad shoulders. All of a sudden they're moving together, slowly, with a grace not present a couple of minutes ago. The smile falls from Zayn's face and he presses even closer to Harry, their foreheads still touching. Harry lets out a slow and heavy breath into the air between them and Zayn opens his eyes, looking down at where their bodies are fitted together. His gaze travels up Harry's body, lingering on his chest where his patterned shirt is now clinging to his skin with sweat, before letting his eyes fall on Harry's face. They're so close together that his vision goes a bit blurry, but he feels Harry's breath on his lips, warm and heavy, and he bites his bottom lip before tilting his head up and capturing Harry's lips in his.

The kisses are short at first, with only a second between them, but they have a purpose, and are nothing like the quick pecks they give each other on a regular basis. Harry's mouth stays open between kisses, his eyes closed as he just waits for Zayn's kisses to come, and Zayn takes advantage of it, moving up to suck Harry's bottom lip into his mouth properly. Harry moans deep in his throat, and a fire ignites in Zayn's belly. His hands travel up to tangle in Harry's hair, pulling him in gently, opening his mouth properly and letting Harry eagerly sneak his tongue inside. Harry's hands are wrapped all the way around Zayn's small waist, pulling him in tightly as their kisses deepen, making Zayn rise up slightly on his tip-toes. He moans quietly into Harry's mouth and grinds his hips against him. Harry gasps suddenly and pulls back, still with his arms around Zayn. They pant for a bit, not moving to the music anymore, and just stand there looking at each other. Zayn moves in again, mouthing softly at Harry's jaw and down his neck and Harry releases a shaky breath.

“You wanna go sit down?” Zayn whispers into his ear, and Harry nods, looking slightly dazed as Zayn pulls away to look at him. Zayn nods in question and Harry releases his arms from around him, grabbing his hand and leading the way out from the crowd.

Louis and Liam are sitting at the table again when they get back, Louis with his arm around Liam's shoulder saying something into his ear as Liam scrunches his face up into a laugh. He nods his head at Harry and Zayn in greeting as they arrive at the table, Louis seeming to be nipping on his earlobe if the way he shies away, still grinning brightly, is anything to go by.

“Hey, where did you go?” Louis asks, moving his face away from Liam's neck to look at the two of them.

“Just, thought we'd get our pulses up a bit,” Harry responds, pulling Zayn in front of him to let him sit down first, but Zayn pulls his hand out of Harry's grip, moving to the side and pushes Harry down in the closest seat before he can object, swiftly sitting down in his lap afterwards. Harry's eyes go a bit wide in surprise but he slings an arm around Zayn's waist and pulls him in anyway. Zayn turns his upper body towards Harry and puts a hand on his cheek making him face him and dives in for a kiss before Harry can question what he's doing. Harry makes a little shocked noise in his throat before he's gripping Zayn's hip tightly with the hand not around his waist, letting Zayn open his mouth with a thumb pressing into his jaw.

“Oh shit,” Liam's voice can be heard from across the table, and Harry and Zayn part from each other, Harry looking over as if he's completely forgotten that they're there. Their eyes are wide, as is Harry's, but Zayn couldn't care less as he dips his head down to suck a hickey under Harry's jawbone.

“I- do you want another drink Liam? Should we head for the bar a bit?” Louis says, looking at Liam with a pointed expression, still with eyes as big as saucers, and Liam nods, the same expression on his face along with a shocked laugh waiting to burst out. “Yeah, let's do that,” He says, and they both get up to quickly move over to the bar before Harry can get a chance to say anything about it.

Zayn unlatches himself from Harry's neck and moves up for another kiss, Harry focusing all of his attention on him once again. It's messier now than it was on the dancefloor, the two of them panting every time their lips part from each other. Zayn pulls away first, his breathing shallow, and Harry follows, moving forward and trying capture Zayn's lips in another kiss.

“Zayn,” He breathes out, and Zayn can't help but lean in again, seperating sooner than he would have liked.

“You wanna get out of here?” He asks, sounding like he's just done about twenty push ups. “Go to my place? It's closer.”

Harry has his eyes closed, breathing heavily, Zayn's hands tangled in his hair still. He opens his eyes to look up into Zayn's, his gaze falling down to Zayn's open mouth, and he nods.

“Yeah,” He breathes, still nodding. “Yeah, okay.”

 

They stumble into Zayn's flat, both the alcohol and the arousal coursing through their bodies making it increasingly hard to stay upright. Flinging off their jackets in the hallway they try to keep their mouths connected as much as possible before they have to part to quickly kick off their shoes.

They navigate through Zayn's flat, Zayn walking backwards and leading the way as best he can as Harry keeps kissing him, almost tripping over the doorstep as they enter his bedroom.

He giggles into Harry's mouth a bit and feels Harry smiling against his lips.

“You okay?” Harry almost pants, his voice no louder than a whisper into Zayn's mouth.

Zayn nods, their foreheads touching. “Yeah, yeah,” He breathes out in response, kissing Harry again before stepping back and swiftly pulling his henley up over his head. He throws it to the side after it's off, lifting a hand to pull back the hair that's gotten in his eyes and looks back at Harry who is staring so intently at him that it almost makes Zayn want to cover himself up again in modesty.

Harry's seen his naked chest before, but something about the heated situation makes the act more loaded than ever.

“Good?” Zayn asks quietly, biting his lip down on a little smirk at the way Harry's eyes are fixed on him, his gaze moving all over the newly exposed skin. Harry nods a couple of times, mouth open.

“Yeah,” He says, looking up into Zayn's eyes again.

“Come here,” Zayn says, getting impatient all of a sudden, and Harry moves over quickly, their mouths connecting harshly. Their hands roam all over each other and Zayn's fingers start to fumble the buttons open on Harry's shirt, moving away from the kiss to look, letting Harry kiss his neck messily. He gets all the buttons undone and pushes the fabric off over Harry's shoulders, his hands greedily moving over Harry's skin, the skin that he hasn't felt before now. He lets his hands roam all over Harry's upper body, over his back, down his chest and up again to slide down his arms, squeezing his biceps and biting his lip. He looks down between them at the very obvious, large bulge in Harry's jeans, the memories of it pulsating under his hand making his breathing quicken. He hooks his fingers in the loops on Harry's jeans, tugging roughly and walking backwards again until he feels his legs hit the edge of his bed, and lowers himself down slowly, a hand on the back of Harry's neck to make him follow without disconnecting their lips for even a second.

Soon he's on his back in the middle of the bed with Harry on top of him, and it's already so good his brain is almost going fuzzy with the feeling. Their tongues are battling for dominance still, and Zayn lowers a hand down to Harry's arse, squeezing it firmly and pushing him down, opening his legs for him to fit between them. They both gasp as their still clothed erections push together, Zayn immediately starting to grind up against Harry who whimpers in his throat, moving his face away to bury it in Zayn's neck. Zayn grins, his eyes closed, the hand on Harry's bum moving to sneak between them, not wasting any time to grip the hardness between Harry's legs.

Harry moans, and Zayn throws an arm around his back, hooking a leg over Harry's and pulls him in even closer, their bodies flushed together from head to toe. He starts nipping on the skin of Harry's neck that is exposed in front of him, still rubbing Harry between them, Harry panting harshly against Zayn's neck. Harry is grinding down into Zayn and Zayn moans loudly into Harry's ear, his grip on Harry's dick through his jeans getting firmer and all of a sudden Harry is going frigid and he chokes out a strangled groan into Zayn's neck.

Zayn eyes fly open at Harry tensing against him and he is just about to ask him if he's okay when he feels the wetness against his palm.

He barely has time to register what just happened before Harry is up and off of him, swearing harshly under his breath, his breathing so rapid Zayn almost wants to ask him to lie down again to rest before he looks down at his hand that is still outstretched and facing up in the air. He looks up at Harry again who has moved down to the foot of the bed, sitting with his back half-turned to Zayn and his hands gripping the sheets tightly at his side, his body still shivering with aftershocks. His head is bowed down with his hair shielding his face and he's breathing sharply still, trying to calm himself down, before he drops his head down to hide in his hands.

He groans into his palms, sounding frustrated, his back moving up and down with his breathing.

“ _Fuck_ ,” He huffs out sharply, rubbing his hands down the sides of his head, and letting them fall down to grip his knees, his breathing still heavy and panting slightly.

Zayn is still lying on the bed, not knowing what to say, just staring at Harry and still sort of trying to process what just happened. He quickly makes himself sober up a bit and slowly hoists himself up to a sitting position, looking at Harry hesitantly and moving closer very carefully, afraid that Harry might jump up and leave at any sudden movements.

He rests his hand on Harry's shoulder when he gets close enough, keeping it there and rubbing his palm over his skin slightly, even when Harry flinches at the unexpected touch.

“Hey,” He whispers softly, stroking his hand gently over Harry's upper back. Harry lets out another sharp and heavy sigh, before looking to the side and over his shoulder, meeting Zayn's eyes for a second. He closes his eyes shut tighly again, facing forward and moving a hand up to push his hair away from his face. He shakes his head to himself, looking back over at Zayn with flushed cheeks.

“Sorry,” He whispers through a short laugh that sounds more sad and embarrassed than anything else, looking like he wants the ground to swallow him up. His face falls as soon as he has gotten the words out and he closes his eyes again, turning his face away.

Zayn furrows his brows at Harry's apology, shaking his head even though Harry isn't looking.

“Hey, babe,” He says, and Harry looks at him again, the pain and embarrassment in his eyes making Zayn want to wrap him up in blankets and kiss him and hold him for as long as it takes for Harry to never ever make that face again. “It's okay,” He says, still shaking his head a little bit, almost like he's scolding Harry for even thinking he needs to apologise, a comforting smile falling on his face. Now that Harry is looking at him, he feels more okay about touching him, and he moves even closer, still slightly behind Harry, leaning in to softly kiss his shoulder blade, his hand stroking over Harry's lower back. “It's alright,” He whispers against Harry's skin, peppering him gently with kisses.

Harry shakes his head at Zayn's words, looking down at his knees again, his hair falling around his face, but he doesn't flinch away, and he starts leaning back slightly into Zayn's touch.

“Come here,” Zayn whispers, putting a hand around Harry's waist and gently pulling him to lay down on the bed again, reaching to pull down the covers. Harry nods at that, still looking down shamefully, before he jerks back a bit.

“Wait,” He breathes out, and Zayn sees him instinctively reach down to put a hand over his crotch, before Harry stands up from the bed.

“I- just-,” Harry tries, not really looking in Zayn's eyes. Zayn nods in understanding, trying his best not to make Harry any more uncomfortable than he already is.

“Yeah, of course,” He says, a small, kind smile on his face.

Harry nods to himself, standing still for a second before he moves over to Zayn's cupboard and quickly pulls out the set of t-shirt and sweatpants that Zayn keeps in there for whenever Harry stays the night. He gets his stuff and quickly leaves the room, holding the clothes in front of his crotch, not looking at Zayn.

Zayn looks around the room after hearing the door to the bathroom shut quietly, lets out a steady breath and gets up to pick up their clothes from the floor. He folds their shirts neatly and puts them on his dresser before stepping out of his jeans and doing the same with them. He feels a lot more sober all of a sudden and he is still half-hard when he looks down at himself in his pants, but he doesn't even care anymore. It's not important. Nothing is important right now other than Harry. Harry in the bathroom cleaning himself up in shame. Zayn sighs to himself, wanting to go in there and hug him and tell him again that it's okay, it's no big deal and that he doesn't have to worry about it, but the tension seems like too much so he just puts on a t-shirt and some pyjama bottoms and gets under the covers.

He's lying comfortably when Harry comes back into the room. The lights are still not on and Harry moves through the room with the help of the street-lights shining in from the window. He doesn't have his jeans with him, just his phone that he plugs in and puts gently on Zayn's nightdresser. He sits down gingerly on the side of the bed, rubbing his palms over his thighs and tucking some hair behind his ear. Zayn watches him fidget for a second before leans up on one elbow and reaches over to gently grasp Harry's arm and make him look back at him. He does, and Zayn smiles at him warmly.

“Come on,” He says softly, just slightly pulling on Harry's arm, and feeling thankful when Harry follows. He gets under the covers, facing Zayn but looking down between them instead of into his eyes.

“Hey,” Zayn whispers, putting a hand on Harry's cheek and gently moving his head up to look at him. He waits for a few seconds, just letting them gaze at each other before he sees Harry's face relaxing just a bit.

“I love you,” He says quietly, still with a small smile on his face.

Harry's smile isn't as bright as usual, but it's genuine.

“I love you too.” He whispers.

Zayn's smile grows a bit bigger, and he slowly leans in to give Harry a kiss, giving him the chance to pull away, but praying that he won't. He doesn't and Zayn lets the soft kiss linger for a few seconds before he pulls back and moves a bit closer to Harry on the pillow, pulling one of Harry's arms over his waist and closing his eyes. He hears Harry let out a slow breath and his arm gets heavy on Zayn's waist.

Ten minutes later, Zayn is still awake to hear Harry's soft snores, and he finally lets himself relax completely.

\--

When Zayn wakes up the next morning, squinting at the sunlight streaming in from the window that he forgot to pull down the drapes over, and with a minor throbbing behind his browbone, it's to an otherwise empty bed.

He rubs at his eyes gently so as not to make the thumping in his head any worse, and looks around the room with bleary eyes. Sitting up, he blinks fully awake when the situation hits him completely.

“Harry?” His voice is hesitant, and raised slightly so it can be heard throughout the flat. There's no answer and Zayn looks around himself again, trying to see any trace of Harry still being in the flat. His clothes that Zayn had put on the dresser last night are gone, and when Zayn looks down at the bed again, he sees the note that is laying on the pillow.

Picking it up he can feel his heart pounding loudly in his ears, and he swallows slowly, his throat dry and closed up. He opens the note and reads over the words with worried eyes.

_Went back home for some fresh clothes. I'll give you a call when I've sorted myself out a bit. Sorry._

_Love you_

_x H_

Zayn sighs deeply in relief, before frowning, looking down at the empty bed beside him. Harry has never left him like this before, sneaking out when Zayn was still asleep. Even when he was late to class or to help his mum at the shop, he would still always wait for Zayn to wake up, sitting on the bed and stroking his hair gently until he opened his eyes, and bending down to mumble some words before kissing him goodbye. The bed is cool when Zayn moves his hand to rest where Harry was laying last night, and Zayn feels very cold and empty all of a sudden.

But Harry's note makes last night come rushing back to him, and he bites his lip. Harry had fallen asleep pretty quickly after they had fully gone to bed, but the look on his face after they... It's still very fresh in Zayn's mind and he wished that Harry was still here so they could talk about it, properly. So Zayn could make him feel better, and so that Harry never had to look like that again. Zayn feels a sting in his chest at the memory. He gets out of bed and walks over to his folded up jeans that are still laying on top of his dresser and digs out his phone from his pocket. Walking back to bed he dials Harry's number, curling up under the warm duvet.

As he listens to the rings he imagines Harry at home, sitting alone and upset and he sighs, running a hand through his hair. Finally, after way too many rings than usual, Harry picks up the phone.

“Hello?” Harry's voice is uncharacteristically quiet and hesitant.

“Hi, babe,” Zayn says, his voice a relieved sigh. “How are you?” He doesn't really know exactly what to say, but checking that Harry is alright is at least top priority.

Harry waits a moment before answering. “I'm good, thanks.” It sounds awfully formal and Zayn cringes inwardly.

“Are you sure?” He presses on gently.

Harry sighs softly. “Yeah,” He says, and his tone sounds a bit more genuine and familiar. “Yeah, I am.” He says. “I'm sorry, for last night. And for leaving you this morning. I didn't-” He cuts himself off, and Zayn shakes his head even though Harry can't see him.

“Don't be, it's alright,” He says, his voice gentle but firm. “You know I don't- care, right? It's okay, Harry. I don't care.”

“Yeah, I'm just- sorry.” Harry says again, not because he didn't hear Zayn's words, but like he can't help himself.

“Hey,” Zayn says, his voice deeper, making sure Harry is listening. “Don't, okay? Don't worry about it. It happens, you know? Don't even think about it, babe.” He senses that Harry isn't too keen to talk about it, so he lets that be it.

“Yeah. Okay.” Harry says finally, and Zayn chooses to believe that he means what he's saying.

They stay silent for a while, but it's less loaded now, and Zayn listens to Harry breathe softly through the phone.

“Have you eaten yet?” He asks, and keeps going before Harry can answer. “You wanna get some breakfast?” He looks at the clock on his nightdresser. “Or, sorry, brunch?” Harry laughs lightly and Zayn smiles at the sound.

“Yeah,” Harry says. “Brunch sounds good.”

 

They meet up for brunch at a café nearby and Zayn tries to act as normal as possible, still sensing that Harry, who is still quite guarded in his behaviour, isn't up for talking about last night just yet. So he just orders them full English Breakfasts and they sit down to eat, Zayn keeping the conversation up, holding and stroking Harry's hand on the table. After a while, Harry starts to relax a bit, laughing at Zayn's stupid jokes, and as they're leaving the café, hand in hand and smiling, Zayn gives himself an imaginary pat on the back and counts the day as a win.

\--

A week later things are still fine between them. Zayn goes to work and comes home, and if Harry doesn't have to work himself he is always there waiting for him, either at his own place or at Louis and Zayn's flat. Liam and Louis have taken to spending a lot more time at Liam's, Zayn just waiting for the day when Louis inevitably tells him he's moving out. He feels okay about it, and when he comes home late at night to see Harry sitting on his sofa with his feet up on the table, reading a book or watching TV, he actually feels really good about it.

It's been a pretty good week together, everything going back to normal. Well, almost everything. They still haven't talked about that night and what happened, and it's not exactly become an elephant in the room, but there's still some minute underlying tension between them, not noticable all the time, but still there nonetheless. If Zayn had had his way, the whole thing would have been brushed off as soon as it happened. It's not exactly a completely uncommon concept for people with dicks to experience this sort of thing a few times in their lives. The fact that he himself hasn't since he was 17 is something that he brushes off, everyone is different after all. It happens, and it's not a big deal, certainly not to Zayn, even though Harry was the one to happen to fire off his gun a little early. He can understand his embarrassment, and he would gladly want to be there for him to reassure him again that it's okay, Zayn doesn't care, and that he doesn't need to be ashamed of anything.

But Harry has started to get changed in the bathroom every night before they go to bed, and the elephant is now standing right outside the door, just waiting to be let in at the first chance. And as Zayn is sitting in bed on the fifth night, listening to Harry fumbling around in the bathroom, that same uncomfortable feeling is beginning to settle in his stomach once again.

 

He's sitting on Liam's sofa, the cup of tea in his lap warming his hands and his legs slung over Louis' who is sitting facing the television, watching Top Gear of all things.

“You still coming to the show on Christmas Eve, yeah?” Louis asks suddenly, referring to his last show of the season in The Book Of Mormon.

“Yeah, think I'll bring Waliyha with me instead of Harry, she's been talking about wanting to go.” Zayn says, looking sideways at the TV, not really focusing on what he's watching.

“He's seen it twice anyway, saves my voice from yelling at him for putting his actual family before me,” Louis scoffs playfully, and Zayn chuckles, shaking his head.

“Well, I'm only going to the day show though, so, be gentle with me,” He says jokingly.

“The _matinée_ , Zayn. Come on, keep up, mate.”

Zayn pokes him in the ribs, Louis grabbing his foot and settling it down firmly in his lap, both of them with little smirks on their faces.

They stay silent for a couple of minutes, Zayn looking at the TV before facing Louis again, watching his profile. He bites his lip.

“Hey, Lou,” He starts.

Louis hums in answer.

“Do you know...does Harry have any...” He pauses, thinking, and Louis looks over at him.

“Does Harry have any, like...self-confidence issues? About his body?” He gets out, looking back at Louis.

Louis frowns. “What do you mean?” He asks, looking very confused.

“Like,” Zayn lifts a hand and gestures towards his own chest, waving it a bit in the air as if it's gonna help Louis understand what he's saying. “Do you know if there's something he's, like, I don't know, ashamed of or insecure about? Or, like, doesn't want people to see?”

Louis keeps frowning at him. “Who are we talking about exactly?”

“Harry,” Zayn says, frowning back at Louis for not paying attention.

“Does Harry have body issues? Harry Styles?”

Zayn nods, feeling like he might want to retract his words now that Louis is staring at him as if he just grew two heads.

“I'm not completely sure you're not messing with me right now but I'm gonna be nice and assume that you're not. No?” He says, like it's the most obvious answer in the world, and like Zayn's question is beyond stupid. Zayn shoves his toes in his ribs one again. Louis yelps.

“I'm being serious!” Zayn says, pouting at Louis for not being nicer about the situation.

“Alright, alright,” Louis says, gripping Zayn's toes in his lap, rubbing his side slightly. “No? He doesn't. Like, I love him to death but I'm honestly glad that I don't have to live with him 24/7 because that boy could not keep his clothes on when we were teenagers, always walking around with his fucking willy hanging out at every opportunity.” He shakes his head at the memory, Zayn listening very intently, his eyes a bit wide at Louis' words. “I used to joke about him being allergic to cloth, it was so bad. He got a bit better the older he got, but nah,” He chuckles a bit. “Lack of self-confidence was one of the last things Harry had to worry about, it didn't help that he was pretty gifted in the size department, made me feel inadquate, the little shite, being a couple years older and that.” He curls his lip a bit, but his face is still fond-looking, in a very strange way, and Louis chuckles at himself.

His words take Zayn back to that night in bed, feeling Harry under his hand, and he nods slowly, trying not to let the memory linger for too long.

“But you've seen him naked, right?” Louis turns to Zayn, still frowning like he's wondering what the reason for this conversation could possibly be.

“I've seen him, like, at the gym and stuff, he always has his top off when he's working out,” Zayn shrugs, the fact that Harry certainly isn't shy about showing off his naked chest kind of going against his previous thought patterns. “But never fully naked. Like from head to toe.” He shrugs a shoulder, his air of nochalance probably not reflecting on his face as well as he'd hoped at all if the way Louis is still frowning deeply is anything to go by.

“Really? That's weird.” Louis turns back to the TV again. “He certainly doesn't have anything to be ashamed of in that area. If he was big then he's probably even bigger now.” He huffs out a laugh.

Zayn's mind wanders again, before he shakes his head and hums, thinking about what Louis just said. It doesn't make any sense.

“Maybe you should just ask him?” Louis says, shrugging, like it's the most obvious solution. Which it is of course, and Zayn would gladly do just that, if the tension between him and Harry hadn't gotten so damn loaded in the past few days.

“Yeah, you're right.” He says, and turns back to the TV. Louis squeezes his foot softly, and changes the channel, sensing the end of the conversation.

\--

The next day Zayn drags himself to Tesco to stock up their pretty much empty fridge. Shopping for groceries isn't exactly his favourite thing to do, but he's learned to enjoy and deal with it well enough, the fact that he's lucky enough to actually have money to buy them with makes him force himself to stop whining and just get on with it.

Harry is working his last day at the shop, before they close over Christmas. His mum only needed him for a few hours, so Zayn thought he might as well make himself useful and get them something to eat for when he gets back.

He's walking down the bread aisle looking for the wholegrain toast that Harry likes. It's healthy enough for him to feel good about eating it, but still a good enough mix between dark and white bread so that it doesn't taste like actual parchment.

He's just bending over to pick out the most fresh batch when he hears someone chuckle behind him, making him turn to look up over his shoulder.

“There's a view I haven't seen in a long time.” Greg says, standing behind him in an expensive looking coat, a cheeky grin on his face. It looks more like a leer than anything, and Zayn finds himself frowning inwardly. It does nothing for him, absolutely nothing.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Greg continues, putting his hands in his pockets, his stance making him look like he's standing in a self-owned shop, the manager having come to talk with a helpless costumer.

Zayn looks around himself to make sure he's in the right store.

“Could say the same to you. Are you lost?” He looks back at Greg, his brow slightly furrowed in genuine confusion.

Greg chuckles a bit.

“I've been broadening my horizons lately,” He shrugs his shoulders, and Zayn narrows his eyes slightly at his words. Greg tilts his head a bit, looking Zayn up and down unashamedly. “You look good, babe.”

Zayn stares at him for a bit, before chuckling uncomfortably.

“I-,” He starts.

“What are you doing after this? My schedule is completely free for the night.” The smile on Greg's face is small, but confident, looking like he's holding in a secret that only him and Zayn know about. Zayn isn't sure that he wants to know.

“Look,” He says. “You clearly must not have gotten the hints I was throwing your way by not texting you back but, I can't do that anymore. I don't want to.”

Greg scoffs a bit. “Oh really?” He asks, and Zayn nods. “And why is that?” He takes a step towards him, and Zayn tenses up.

“I just don't,” He says, feeling like that should be reason enough. Greg just smiles at him as if he's a little child who doesn't know what he's talking about.

“You wanna finish up here, and then we'll get a car to my place,” He says, looking down at the bread Zayn is still clutching in one hand, his shopping basket in the other, and nodding at the food already in it. “My treat, yeah?”

Zayn's frown deepens. “No. Did you not hear what I just said?”

Greg rolls his eyes, still with a smile on his face.

“Oh come on, Zayn. I don't know what little game you're playing but it's getting old. Come now, let's go.” He says, moving to grab Zayn's arm. Zayn sidesteps the motion quickly, moving over to the other side of the aisle.

“I said no,” He says. He's starting to get properly angry now, and he looks at Greg with dark eyes.

“Oh, you really wanna play it like that, doll?” Greg bites his lip.

“I'm not your doll,” Zayn clenches his jaw. Greg moves closer again, his arm outstretched. “And don't touch me.” Zayn bites out, ready to pounce on Greg at a second's notice. He really doesn't want to have a scrap in the middle of this little Tesco shop but if Greg doesn't back off, he will not hesitate to punch him in his stupid, smug face.

“So what's changed then? Huh?” Greg is starting to get very annoyed now, Zayn can tell by the way his eyebrows are furrowed and his breaths are coming out of his open mouth, and the way he's licking his lips in twitching motions, staring at Zayn.

“Nothing's changed,” Zayn shrugs, still with his eyes fixed darkly on Greg's face. “I just finally realised what a fucking knob you actually are.” He says, feeling so much better after he's gotten out the words. There it is. Simple as.

Greg chuckles darkly.

“Oh yeah? You sure about that? You sure you're not gonna be ringing me up as soon as you get home, begging for my cock?”

Zayn huffs out a laugh. This arrogant arse.

“I don't need it anymore.” He smiles.

Greg freezes for a second before his jaw clenches.

“Oh really? What's his name then?”

“It doesn't matter what his name is,” Zayn says, feeling his anger start to rise again just at the thought of Greg having _anything_ to do with Harry, his Harry. “All that matters is that he is worth so much more than the lousy fucks we had.”

Greg's face has gotten all red, and he's got his lips pursed, like he's just waiting for the perfect thing to throw out in retaliation to Zayn's words. Zayn sneers a bit at him, at the pathetic man standing in front of him.

“Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my boyfriend. Your services are no longer needed.” His eyes drag down Greg's body, his sneer still on his face before his gaze reaches Greg's crotch in his pressed suit trousers. He looks up at his face again, a mean grin falling on his lips. He nods down at Greg's crotch pointedly. “You've got nothing on him anyway,” He says with a demeaning scoff, and turns to walk down the aisle towards the exit.

“I don't think your father will be happy to hear about what a filthy little slut his son is!” Greg blurts out at his back, sounding like a fucking 10-year-old throwing a tantrum about not getting to play with his favourite toy.

“Oh, piss off Greg!” Zayn snaps back over his shoulder, rolling his eyes furiously. He heads for the exit, puts his shopping basket down on the floor on the way out, and leaves the shop.

 

Zayn gets home, still in a fury. The relief of never having to deal with Greg ever again seems to have to wait for Zayn's anger at having to see his stupid face to die down. He slams the door shut, huffing as he throws away his jacket on the floor, kicking off his boots angrily.

“Babe?” Comes Harry's voice from the livingroom, and Zayn snaps his head up quickly. He almost runs into the livingroom where Harry is half-laying on the sofa, a book in his hand, and throws himself down next to him, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and tucking his head under his chin. Harry tenses in shock for a second before he envelops Zayn in a tight embrace, pressing him against his chest. Zayn closes his eyes tightly and tries to calm down his breathing. The feeling of meeting Greg in contrast to hugging Harry now is so overwhelming he almost has to fight against getting teary-eyed and crying into Harry's neck like a little child.

“What is it, babe?” Harry asks softly, confusion still evident in his voice. “Huh? Are you okay?”

His hand is stroking Zayn's back in big circles, the other arm still tight around Zayn's shoulders.

Zayn doesn't answer for a while, his face still buried in Harry's chest, breathing in his smell and letting it calm him down. He feels Harry press a firm and lingering kiss to the top of his head and he squeezes his waist even tighter for a moment, before he pulls back completely.

“There's something that I need to tell you.” Zayn says after they're facing each other and Harry sits upright on the sofa, taking Zayn's hands into his and nodding, studying his face intently and waiting for him to speak. Zayn takes a deep breath.

“I just want you to know that I love you so very much, alright? You know that Harry, right?” Zayn's voice sounds a bit desperate and Harry's eyes grow slightly worried, but he nods at Zayn's words.

“Of course I do, I love you too.” He says, stroking his thumbs over Zayn's hands.

Zayn nods, looking down at their hands, bracing himself before he opens his mouth again and looks up at Harry.

“Okay, I know I didn't explicitly say that I was gonna cut off all contact with Greg when we got together, and I'm not saying that I haven't,” He says quickly, seeing Harry's eyes widen a bit, a hurt look flashing across them, but mainly looking more confused than anything else. “But he's been texting me for a while now, and I haven't answered him, I've been ignoring them all,” Zayn is staring at Harry fiercely as he talks. “But I should've told you about it when it happened, and I meant to delete his number or tell him to stop, and I was going to, you can ask Louis, but then I forgot and I shouldn't have kept it from you and I'm sorry, Harry, I'm really sorry.”

He releases a deep breath once he's done, looking at Harry with regretful and slightly pleading big eyes.

Harry looks like he's been holding his breath as well. He lets out a long sigh and looks down at their hands, nodding very slowly to himself.

“Alright,” He says slowly, to himself more than to Zayn. He keeps nodding a little faster, and looks up at Zayn. “Okay.” He says, and Zayn nods with him, his eyes wide and staring intently at Harry's face. “It's okay,” Harry keeps going, a tightlipped smile on his face. It doesn't look particularly happy, but his eyes are honest when he looks at Zayn. “I'm not angry.” He says, looking at Zayn as if it truly is okay, and Zayn wants to punch himself in the face.

“Are you sure? Cause it's okay if you are.”

Harry shakes his head a bit, still smiling warmly, and Zayn lets out a sharp breath, looking down at his lap. “You should be,” He mutters, closing his eyes at his own stupidity.

“Well,” Harry starts and Zayn looks up. “I mean I'm not over the moon about it, and I do wish you would have told me but,” He shrugs. “It's alright, babe. I'm not mad.”

Zayn smiles back at him, still feeling like an absolute turd.

“I trust you, Zayn. I trust you to not give me a reason to be mad at you. I mean it would take a lot either way, but, this isn't as bad as you think. It's okay.”

Zayn shakes his head, looking at his lap and lifts their hands to his mouth to kiss Harry's knuckles.

“What made you tell me now, so all of a sudden?” Harry asks softly.

“You deserve to know, first of all. I'd almost forgotten about it though, if I'm honest. But then I met Greg in Tesco.”

Harry's hands tighten around Zayn's, making Zayn look up. Harry's jaw is clenched and his eyes look intensely into Zayn's. “What did he say to you? Did he do something?”

Zayn just shakes his head, looking down again. “He was just being his usual idiotic self.” Harry relaxes slightly. “Wanted me to come home with him.” He adds before he can think about what he's saying, still fuming at the memory. Harry doesn't say anything in reply and Zayn looks up.

Harry is looking down at their hands, a slight furrow between his brows. He doesn't look angry anymore, more hesitant, and he nods a bit to himself.

“Did you want to? Go with him?”

Zayn's frown deepens into a look of disgust and confusion.

“What? Harry, no! Of course not, why would you even think that? I know I was an idiot for not telling him off sooner but I haven't spoken to him in months, just seeing him standing there made me wanna vomit at all the things him and I did together.” He gets out, almost shuddering at the memories flooding back.

Harry just shrugs. “I'm just asking, I don't know, I- I mean I haven't exactly been doing my job at fulfilling those sort of needs for you, have I?” He chuckles mockingly at himself.

“That has nothing to do with it, okay? With anything, Harry. I couldn't give a shit about him, and every night we spent together? They mean absolutely crap when compared to what we have together, you and I.” Zayn clutches Harry's hands tightly, trying to get him to look at him again.

“And I told him that,” He continues. “I told him that it doesn't matter what he says or what he thinks I want, because I know exactly what I want and it's you.”

Harry looks up at him, smiling lightly.

“And, you know,” Zayn goes on, a little bit more hesitantly, but he pushes all his doubts and the awkwardness that his next words might create to the side. “I've been thinking, about that too,” He looks up at Harry. “And- I don't care. You know, it's- it's whatever, honestly,” He forces the words out, but as they leave his mouth he realises that he means them, genuinely. The thought makes him push through, and his next words come out a lot easier. “You know, if you're not ready to have sex right now, that's okay, or if we just become one of those couples who never have sex, that's fine too.”

The meaning behind his words have registered fully with Harry as he's been talking and he is looking down at their hands, his cheeks flushed pink.

“I'm not gonna let something as stupid as that ruin what we have and, if that is just not something that you want to do then I can live with that.” He lets out a breath, finally having let everything out, everything that has been running through his mind these past few days. Yes, it might be a bit difficult and frustrating at times to be in a sexless relationship but ultimately, Zayn is ready to try. For Harry. He thinks about the vibrator lying in the drawer of his nightdresser and a fleeting thought of maybe starting a collection and making it a new hobby flashes through his mind, swiftly interrupted when Harry speaks up.

“It's not that I don't want to.” Harry says quietly, looking up at Zayn again. “I want to. A lot.”

Zayn looks at him, feeling his heart thump in his stomach.

“I mean, how could I not.” Harry says, as if it's completely obvious, and Zayn huffs out a little chuckle, suddenly blushing himself. He doesn't really know what to say, but he figures it's Harry's time to speak now anyway, so he fixes his eyes on his and waits for him to continue.

Harry shrugs, looking like he's bracing himself for whatever he's about to say. “I guess since we're on the topic of confessing things,” Zayn breathes out a laugh at that, wondering when it all got so dramatic. Harry smiles. “Uhm, I guess it's equally as fair to you to know why I've been acting so weird lately.”

Zayn shakes his head in disagreement at Harry saying that about himself, but he doesn't interrupt as Harry presses on.

“You must've been so confused and I am too, to be honest. And I know you've spoken to Louis about it a bit.”

Zayn's eyes go wide at that, and he looks at Harry in question.

“He called me the other day telling me that he thought that you might be worried about me? I don't know, he was pretty vague and mysterious sounding.”

Zayn sighs. Bloody Louis.

“Well, yeah, we've talked about, just us, in general, more than anything. I just told him that we hadn't been...intimate, yet. He sort of drew it out of me, really. But I didn't mention any details or anything, I just asked him if he might know if you weren't alright or something.”

Harry nods. “It's okay. Well, then at least you know that I'm not a virgin, I guess.” He laughs lightly.

“Right,” Zayn says, waiting for Harry to continue.

“Uhm,” Harry starts before sighing harshly and looking down into his lap. He takes a moment before he looks back up into Zayn's face. “Alright.”

“It all started, I guess in like high school really. Uhm, I don't know if Louis told you this too but, I...used to be, not as shy about showing myself off as most other people tend to be. Or, it was just more like, the fact that I just really enjoyed not wearing too many clothes.” He laughs a bit at his own words, and Zayn smiles nodding along. “So when in, like, the changing rooms when we had PE, I didn't really shy away when I was getting changed, so, you know, I was just there, for everyone to see. And it was fine at first but then, I guess a bit later on, some of the guys started to comment about it, a bit. About...one specific part especially.” He looks up at Zayn with his eyebrows raised slightly. Zayn nods slowly, and Harry continues.

“And, uhm, the comments started getting a bit, not on the joking side, but, I didn't really care about it, I just figured they were jealous, to be honest, that's what my mates told me anyway. And I was sexually active and all that, and lost my virginity along with everyone else back then. And then, I started at college, and I came out, and started getting with guys on the regular. And most of the experiences were good but, there were a couple instances where...people would say things or, like, make me feel weird about it, and asking me to stop because it was getting too much for them. A guy actually just asked me to leave once, he was quite rude about it and, I don't know, I guess it just started to get to me a little bit.” Harry shrugs, trying to seem casual about it and looking down at their hands as he speaks.

“But again, it wasn't all the time, and I had some great times with some people, and then, I met this guy, who I became really good friends with. And then kinda fell for a little bit, and we were starting to get intimate, and it was pretty good at first, but...He, uhm. He started to, like, call me names and things and, cracking jokes when there were other people around, and he probably thought he was being hilarious but I already felt weird enough as it was so it just made me a bit uncomfortable. And I asked him to stop and he just laughed at me, and kept calling me all of these names, and I could hear that it wasn't coming from a very nice place, the further it went. And I don't even think it was that there was a problem really, he just seemed to like making me feel bad in the end, making me feel like there was something about me that I should be ashamed of. Yeah, he didn't turn out to be such a good friend after all,” Harry chuckles a bit. “And when I quit college we went separate ways, I haven't seen him since, luckily.” He pauses for a few seconds, but Zayn keeps quiet.

“I don't know, maybe I'd just been with a lot of shitty people who enjoyed being bullies and put others down for whatever they could come up with to make them feel like shit.” His voice sounds more bitter than mad, like he's been thinking about this for long enough to not be bothered to be angry about it anymore.

“But then all of that stuck with me when I tried to be with other people afterwards, and I think it messed with my head a bit, and...it made me nervous I guess, and feel self-conscious, and clearly that is not a great combo when you're trying to get it on with someone.”

Zayn laughs a bit at that, and Harry smiles chuckling at himself as well.

“So,” Zayn starts, looking down at their hands, still holding onto each other between them. “The whole,” He makes a decision. “ _Premature ejaculation_ thing,” He says the words they've both been dreading to say loud and clear, and Harry cringes. Zayn laughs softly, stroking his hand with his thumb. “That's happened before?”

Harry lets his face fall into a normal expression and nods. “Yeah.”

Zayn nods slowly. “Right,” He says, almost to himself, trying to let everything sink in, a peaceful expression on his face at finally knowing.

“I think it's mainly just a psychological thing? That's what I've read anyway.” Harry shrugs. “And I honestly haven't really been having a lot of sex for a while now. A _while_. And then the fact that you were there all-” He stops himself like he doesn't know how to continue and Zayn looks up at him.

“What?” He asks, his eyes fixed on Harry, not a hundred percent sure what he's going to say next.

“You know, just- so fucking _gorgeous_ and perfect and I just-,” He lets out a sharp breath and then it's as if a door is pushed opened and it all just comes bursting out.

“It's just so fucking _stupid_ , you know?” Harry looks angry now, and Zayn can only listen. “It's just the dumbest shit ever, and I haven't even been able to talk about it, I haven't wanted to, with anyone, because I don't wanna go around sounding like a knob, all 'my dick is too fucking big, let me cry on your fucking shoulder', like what the fuck kind of problem is that to have? And then I meet you and I fall in love which was even stupider, and of course now your opinion is the only one that matters, that will ever matter, and, it's not even _that_ big, but I love you so much that it made me even more nervous and paranoid, because I don't want you to push me away or look at me weirdly and it's all such bullshit, and I just wanna fuck my fucking boyfriend for fuck's sake!” He's breathing heavily as he finishes.

Zayn waits a couple of seconds before he can't anymore and a snort leaves his mouth, his hand flying up quickly to his mouth to stop any more from coming out, which doesn't really succeed.

Harry looks at him with big eyes, offended and shocked and still not completely recovered from his little outburst. “Are you being fucking serious?” He asks, tone still loud from the adrenaline rush, looking very betrayed.

Zayn shakes his head, moving his hand down. “I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry,” He starts, still laughing a bit.

“It's not funny!” Harry's voice has moved on to a more whining tone and his shoulders slump.

“No, it's not funny, it's not,” Zayn says, moving his hands up to cup Harry's face and letting them roam down over his arms.

“I'm really struggling here!” Harry whines, a pout starting to form on his face when he realises that Zayn isn't doing it on purpose.

“I'm sorry,” Zayn laughs out, trying to stop, and he leans over to kiss Harry's pouting lips, repeating his words and giving him another kiss before leaning back again.

“I'm just so happy that it was only this, and not something worse.” He says, smiling at Harry in relief, feeling lighter and calmer than he has in a while.

Harry frowns through his pout. “What do you mean 'only'? I haven't had sex in a year!”

Zayn chokes down a laugh and moves Harry's hands up to press his mouth to his knuckles, leaving them there until he's sure he won't burst out into laughter when he moves away.

“I just, I don't know what I was expecting but, this certainly wasn't it. This I can work with.” He says, smiling warmly at Harry, not missing the way Harry's eyebrows twitch at his choice of words. He still needs to reassure Harry about something though, so he keeps going.

“You know that I would _never_ willingly make you feel bad about yourself? Like there was something about you that you needed to be ashamed of? You know that right, Harry?” He says, looking deep into Harry's eyes until Harry finally nods, a defeated but serene look on his face.

“Yeah, I just...I just don't want you to- I don't want it to be bad. For you.”

“Don't worry about me, babe. I just wanna be with you, if you'll let me.” He looks at Harry, and a slow smile spreads on Harry's face. He nods, and Zayn strokes his thumbs over Harry's hands again.

“But you believe me, right?”

Harry nods again. “I do.”

Zayn smiles, and leans back a bit. “And those guys? They just sound weak as shit to me.”

Harry laughs, a blush spreading on his cheeks. He looks down at their hands, shrugging shyly. “I- yeah, maybe.”

Zayn studies him for a bit, smiling gently.

“A year is a pretty long time, isn't it?”

Harry looks up, swallowing. “It is.”

Zayn lets go of Harry's hands and moves his own to Harry's knees where he's sitting crosslegged in front of him.

“You know, if you need me...you just need to say.” Zayn says, and starts to rub his hands up and down Harry's thighs.

Harry looks down at the movements and Zayn can see his cock already beginning to fatten up under his sweats. He bites his bottom lip, hearing his heartbeat in his ears.

Harry looks up at him. “You sure?”

Zayn nods. “I'm sure.”

Harry is still looking just a bit hesitant, those old memories probably floating around his mind once again, so Zayn continues.

“And I'm not gonna laugh at you, or look at you weirdly. I wouldn't do that. I promise.”

 

Zayn has got Harry on his back in the middle of his bed. His shirt lies discarded on Zayn's floor, along with Zayn's own, and Harry's chest is moving slowly up and down. Zayn is pressing kisses all over his torso, down to his navel and then up again to his chest. He kisses up his neck and jaw until he reaches Harry's mouth. Their mouths move together slowly before Zayn pulls away to look down at Harry. His pupils are blown and his mouth is open and Zayn needs to duck down again, pressing his lips firmly against Harry's.

“Okay?” He asks as he lifts up again.

Harry nods at him, but Zayn waits for a vocal answer. Harry looks like he knows what he's thinking and smiles. “Yeah.”

Zayn kisses him again and Harry moves his hands to Zayn's sides carefully, stroking them up and down along his ribs and making Zayn break out into goosebumps. He moves away from Harry's mouth again, leaving open mouthed kisses all the way down his chest and stomach, down to the waistband of his sweatpants. They're very loose and Harry's cock is creating the most obvious tent but Zayn ignores it for a bit, continuing to leave kisses along the waistband, sucking gently on the skin beside Harry's happy trail. He looks up again to see Harry watching him with big eyes, and Harry gives a little nod at Zayn's questioning look. Zayn turns his face down towards Harry poking up underneath the sweatpants, and finally he sneaks his fingers in under the waistband and slowly begins to pull them down. He lets them fall to the floor as soon as he gets them off properly and moves back so his head is right above Harry's cock, long and thick under his pants, and Zayn breathes out slowly.

He lifts a hand to cup it slightly, running his fingers along it, his touch light, and Harry squirms, his breathing getting heavy. Zayn lets his hand fall to rest on Harry's hip and leans down to nuzzle his face on his cock, mouth open, and letting his lips run along it. Harry lets out a huff and his hips rise inadvertently off the bed a bit, Zayn firmly pushing them down again with his hand on Harry's hip.

He starts kissing along Harry's length, his tongue darting out in between his lips to dampen the fabric and Harry whines high in his throat. Zayn smiles against his cock and runs the flat of his tongue along it from base to tip, making Harry choke out a strangled gasp. Zayn lets the tip of his tongue flick gently against where Harry's slit is a couple of times and Harry moans desperately.

“Zayn,” He breathes and Zayn kisses him just below the head of his cock.

He looks up at Harry again and waits for a bit before he hooks his fingers into the waistband of Harry's underwear and pulls them down. His cock gets stuck for a second just behind the waistband before Zayn pulls the pants away further and Harry's dick finally is let out of his underwear. It's rock hard and it slaps up quickly against his stomach, the head falling to rest as far up as beside his bellybutton, and Zayn can do nothing but stare. It twitches under his gaze and he lets out a long, heavy breath, moving his hand up to touch it. He fits his fingers around the girth of it and bites down on his lower lip. It's thick, and he can just about fit his hand around it properly. He angles it upwards so it's standing up straight and he can look at it in all of its big, hard glory. Harry is breathing so heavily now and Zayn almost groans as he starts moving his hand up and down, pumping Harry's cock slowly and watching the head being covered by his foreskin over and over again.

Harry is biting down on his lip so hard as Zayn moves forward again, swiping his tongue quickly along the cockhead, as if he can't help himself any longer.

“Shit, Harry,” He breathes out, his warm breath falling on the tip and Harry's whole body shudders.

“It's perfect. You're perfect,” Zayn says, twisting his wrist on the upstroke and Harry chokes down on a groan. He is biting his lip so hard Zayn is afraid he's gonna hurt himself, trying to hold back any sounds from being let out. Zayn wishes he wouldn't, and he gives a little grin up at Harry, moving in once again, and as his mouth fits over the head of Harry's cock, Harry's mouth falls wide open and a deep moan is released from his throat.

Zayn starts to hum around his dick almost instantly, already loving the feeling of it heavy on his tongue, and the taste from the precum beginning to leak out. He tastes sweet and Zayn moans around him, hollowing his lips and sucking slowly. Harry is a mess, trying not to twist too much on the bed, his hands desperately gripping the sheets and the pillow under his head, forcing his hips not to buck up into Zayn's warm, inviting mouth. Zayn lowers his head even more, trying to see how much he can fit in his mouth, getting as far as a third of the way down before he feels Harry's cock grazing the back of his throat. He breathes calmly through his nose before pressing down another inch and holding himself there for a few seconds before pulling off completely, a string of saliva mixed with precum connecting his lips to the tip of Harry's dick. He licks his lips, looking at Harry's dick shining with spit before lifting his gaze up to Harry who has his eyes closed shut. Zayn starts pumping his cock once again, already missing the feel of it in his mouth. He waits for Harry to open his eyes again, and look down at Zayn lying so comfortably between his legs.

He chokes out a moan at the sight of his wet cock in Zayn's hand, the movements making slick sounds fill the room.

“Zayn, please,” He pants, moaning suddenly as Zayn moves his thumb up to swipe against his slit.

Zayn smiles at him sweetly.

“Is that good, babe?”

Harry nods his head quickly, his hair flying around his face.

“Yes, so good, please Zayn,” He stops himself before he starts blabbering and Zayn keeps smiling before he leans in again and fits as much of Harry's cock in his mouth as he can. Harry groans loudly at the shock of being enveloped in the soft wetness of Zayn's mouth again, and Zayn quickly starts moving his fist over Harry's dick in a steady pace.

He bobs his head up and down, the ring of his lips meeting his fingers before he syncs himself to go in the same direction. Harry is a moaning mess above him, his breathing going so fast Zayn is worried he might be having an actual asthma attack before Harry chokes out his name.

“Zay- Zayn, Zayn, I'm close,” He gets out between quick breaths. Zayn looks up at him from under his eyelashes, his head coming to a stand still while his hand keeps fisting him, slowing down the pace. Harry is looking down at him with wild eyes, both of his hand gripping his pillow making the veins in his biceps visible. Zayn swirls his tongue around the tip of his cock and Harry can't help but buck his hips up, moving Zayn's head up with him. Harry starts shaking his head in a rapid motion and Zayn lets his cock slip out of his mouth with a pop. Harry moans again.

“You wanna come, Harry?” Zayn asks softly, his hand moving steadily over Harry's cock, looking into his eyes with his mouth open, inches from where his hand is pumping him.

Harry nods his head before turning the nod into a shake. “I- I, we-” He gets out before having to focus on breathing, closing his eyes at the feeling of Zayn's hand on his cock.

“It's okay, babe.” Zayn slows his hand down. “You want me to make you come?”

Harry bites his lip, looking down at Zayn again, nodding quickly. “Please.” He whispers.

Zayn gives him a small smile and swallows Harry down again, before Harry even has time to react. He moves his head up to fit his mouth around the tip and sucks hard, his fist moving up and down in a blur and Harry is moaning breathlessly above him, his voice high in his throat. Zayn can feel Harry's balls tighten up as his hand grazes against them and all of a sudden Harry goes completely silent, his right hand quickly flying up to grip Zayn's hair tightly and Zayn can feel him start to release himself into his mouth, a long strangled groan leaving his throat as he shoots spurt after spurt down Zayn's throat. Zayn moans softly around Harry's cock – half at the taste of him and half at the feeling of him roughly gripping his hair –, swallowing all that he can and slowing his hand down to squeeze it all out of him, every last drop.

When Harry's dick is just twitching weakly in Zayn's mouth, finally completely spent, he pulls off and lets it slip back out to lay on Harry's stomach once again. Zayn swallows what is left in his mouth and wipes his chin with the heel of his hand, looks at it to see a couple of drops that had slipped out and licks it all up again.

He moves up the bed again, pressing soft kisses to Harry's flushed chest and face as he gets level with him. Harry has his eyes closed and he is breathing heavily still, a little smile on his lips.

Zayn kisses the corners of his lips, smiling too, before he reaches over to his nightdresser to pull out his bottle of lube. He's used it on himself a couple more times, along with the toy lying further inside the drawer, so it's about half full. Giving Harry's chest one more kiss, he lays beside him on his back and starts to peel his own jeans and pants off in one go.

Harry's breathing has slowed down a bit and he looks to his side at Zayn, hearing the rustling of him getting undressed. Zayn can feel Harry's eyes on him as he's laying down on his back after having pulled his clothes of and dropped them over the side of the bed, and he turns to look at him, their faces inches apart.

“Mind if I get myself ready for you?” He asks, his voice soft as he looks straight into Harry's eyes. Harry stares for a bit before his eyes flick down to the bottle in Zayn's hand. He breathes for a second before he starts to shake his head and looks up at Zayn. Zayn leans in for a quick kiss before he looks down at himself, opening the bottle and pouring some out onto his fingertips.

He moves his hand down between his legs first to just smear the slick around himself, massaging his hole to make it relax a bit, before he squeezes out more onto his fingers, rubbing them all together so they're completely covered. He doesn't hesitate to shove two fingers in right away, not caring about the slight burning sensation. Luckily he has been using the vibrator on himself a few times in the past weeks, but it wouldn't matter anyway. He wants to feel it, all of it, so he starts pumping his fingers in and out as quickly as possible, keeping up a steady pace and hearing the squelching noises it makes. Taking a few deep, calming breaths, he closes his eyes and presses a third finger in beside the other two, his breaths getting shaky and his chest moving up and down at a quicker pace.

The bed creaks beside him and he looks up to see Harry leaning over him, propped up on an elbow. His pupils are dialated, leaving only a thin ring of sea green around them, and he is staring at Zayn, at all of him, like he isn't sure where to even look when Zayn is laying like this beside him, spread out and completely bare. Harry lifts a hand to slowly rest on Zayn's stomach, letting it rub over his chest and down towards his hips in long strokes, his eyes following his movements almost as if he's in a trance. Harry huffs out a breath and Zayn bites his lip, still pumping three fingers in and out of himself, looking up at Harry's face. He manages to twist his wrist in a new angle and the very tip of his longest finger barely grazes his spot and his breath hitches in his throat, Harry studying the movements with a hungry gaze. Zayn lets out another gasp as he brushes against his prostate again and Harry makes a low noise in the back of his throat, leaning in to suck a bruise on Zayn's neck.

“Fuck, Zayn,” He breathes against the skin before leaning his forehead against Zayn's temple and looking down to where Zayn's fingers are still moving steadily in and out of his arse. Harry moves a hand down to grab Zayn's cock and starts stroking it slowly, and Zayn breathes out a moan, both of their gazes following the movements. Zayn lets that happen for a while before he starts shaking his head, not trusting himself to speak properly at the moment, and bats Harry's hand away gently, pulling the fingers out of himself. He sits up, feeling himself soiling the sheets but not giving a fuck, and moves to kiss Harry who is still on his back.

“Want me to go on top?” He breathes into the space between them. “I think that might be easier.”

Harry nods into another kiss. “Yeah, yeah.” He pants, his pupils blown wide.

Zayn nods back and kisses him again before moving down his body, grasping his cock that has gone completely hard again while Zayn was prepping himself. He pumps it in his hand a couple of times, hearing Harry pant heavily above him, and reaches for the lube again, uncapping the bottle and moving it to squeeze some out on Harry's cock before he stops as a thought hits him.

“Shit,” He whispers to himself harshly, staring down at Harry's dick in his grip, letting the hand holding the bottle fall.

“What?” Harry asks breathlessly, watching his every move intensely. “What is it?” His eyebrows are furrowed and all of a sudden there's a hint of worry in his eyes, so Zayn shakes his head at him comfortingly, rubbing a hand on his hip bone.

“It's just,” He starts, releasing a sharp breath at his own stupidity. “I haven't got any condoms.”

Harry keeps staring at him, Zayn's words not seeming to register completely if the way his eyebrows are still furrowed is anything to go by. He is still rock hard in Zayn's hand so if all of the blood usually used to make his brain function properly has suddenly set camp elsewhere then Zayn can understand how thinking might be a bit difficult right now.

Harry opens his mouth, no words coming out for a bit. “I-,” He starts, looking like he's just heard the most terrible news of the decade.

“I mean I do,” Zayn continues, interrupting him, and Harry looks more grateful than anything. “I just, I'm- well, I don't think they're gonna be able to fit you, to be honest. Definitely not, actually.” He laughs a bit, looking down at Harry in his hand again, fighting back a groan at the whole situation.

“Well,” Harry says, grunting slightly as he raises himself up on his elbows. “I mean I guess it's a bit late for this anyway but, I'm clean?” He says, his chest raising up and down slowly, his voice still a bit breathless, and Zayn lets go of his cock completely. Harry hisses as it slaps up against his stomach again.

Zayn nods at Harry's words. “I believe you. But I don't know if-,” He bites his lip, and Harry's brows furrow slightly. “And I'm not saying that I'm _not_ ,” Zayn continues quickly. “I'm just- I haven't been tested for a while. Since-” He cuts himself off and Harry clenches his jaw at the words left unspoken.

“Well,” Harry looks down at him, shaking his head. “I trust you.” His eyes are open and so unguarded. Zayn smiles at him, feeling so many things swell inside his chest.

“I know you do, babe. Fuck.” He bites his lip and stares down at Harry's cock, flushed red and leaking on his stomach, the conversation not having made it soften one bit.

He racks his brain for an idea or a solution but the thought of just risking it and going without is starting to push everything else away, before a lightbulb is suddenly swithed on inside his head, and he snaps his head up quickly, looking at Harry whose eyes are equally as wide but considerably more confused.

“Wait,” Zayn says, scrambling up off the bed, and Harry's eyes go even wider.

“What are you-” He starts, watching Zayn get up and almost trip over himself as he moves to leave the room.

Zayn whips around quickly as if having completely forgotten about Harry still lying on the bed, bewildered as ever, and he stops by the door with a hand on the frame. “I'll be right back, stay there,” He says, holding up a finger at Harry before rushing through the flat and into Louis' room.

During the peak of summer Louis had had one of his many brilliant ideas of ways to pass the time. It had been a very hot couple of months and the two of them had woken up one morning and decided to bust out their matching water guns and head for the park. On the way there, Louis decided that having some waterballoons as well would make it extra fun, but instead of heading for the supermarket like a normal person, Louis had stepped into the nearest corner shop and purchased some extra large condoms, and as Zayn is rummaging through the drawers in Louis' dresser he thanks the heavens for granting him with such a ridiculous human as his best friend.

“Come on, come on, I know it's in here somewhere,” He mumbles to himself, ripping the final drawer open and sticking his hand into the very back, moving it around before gripping around a familiar shape and pulling out the packet.

“Yes!” He whispers, holding the packet in his hand like a trophy before slamming the drawer shut and getting up to run back into his bedroom, still stark naked, holding his cock still between his legs.

Harry is sitting up in bed, leaning back with his hands on the mattress and waiting for him when he bursts into the room again and slams the door, still looking a bit lost. Zayn grins at him and gets back on the bed, shoving him down again with a hand on his chest.

“Got it,” He says to Harry who's still just looking on with raised eyebrows before he sees Zayn pull out a condom from the packet, and raises himself up on his elbows again.

“Oh,” He says, sounding interested now. “I've never used that kind before.”

Zayn laughs a bit breathlessly. “Me neither.” He rips the foil off of the condom in his hand and takes it out, the circle a lot bigger than what he is used to. Grabbing Harry's cock again, he gives it a couple of tugs, Harry slumping back down on his back, looking on with his mouth gaping slightly open.

Zayn places the condom on his tip and starts to roll it down, one hand holding Harry still at the base.

“Please, please, please, please, please...” He whispers to himself as he keeps rolling it down before he gets it right down to the base, and just like that, it's on. Like a glove. Zayn grins widely.

“Fuck, remind me to tell Louis how much I love him the next time I see him,” He says, still with a big smile on his face as he uncaps the bottle of lube once again and squirts some out right onto Harry's cock. Harry's nod gets interrupted by Zayn smearing the lube all over his dick and he moans low in his throat, his breathing picking up its pace.

Zayn wastes no time anymore and gets into position, straddling Harry's hips. He reaches back with his sticky hand and rubs some of the liquid around his hole before he shuffles up a bit more and grabs ahold of Harry's base behind him.

“Alright?” He looks down at Harry's wide eyes. Harry's looking at where Zayn is holding him but he meets Zayn's eyes at the word and nods.

“Yeah, just- go slow okay?” His eyes look hungry but there is an underlying hint of worry in them and Zayn smiles down at him, nodding, and then he starts pressing Harry into himself.

Harry is big. Not unnaturally so, and Zayn has seen dicks a lot bigger, in like porn and stuff. But he is big, and this isn't porn, this is real life and Harry is bigger than anyone or anything he's ever had in him before and it hurts as he gets the whole head inside.

He stops and lets himself breathe, a hand on Harry's chest to hold himself up and another still on Harry's dick, gently making sure it doesn't slip out by mistake.

Harry is breathing heavily, trying to match his pace with Zayn's slow inhales and exhales, and his hands are on Zayn's thighs gently stroking his thumbs over the skin.

Zayn feels the burn lessen a bit and decides to just go with it, starting to lower himself so very slowly down on Harry's cock, not stopping until he's sitting down on him fully, his bum resting firmly on Harry's hips. He feels more full than he ever has in his entire life and his head is spinning a bit with it all. He is putting every effort that he has into forcing his breathing to stay calm and steady and he lowers his head, letting his eyes fall shut for a bit and just waits. The pain passes quicker than he expected and he opens his eyes again, his cheeks feeling like they're on fire, and looks up at Harry lying underneath him.

Harry's cheeks look about as red as his feel, and his whole chest is flushed and glistening from the phsyical exertion of probably forcing himself not to let his hips buck up. His eyes are shut tight and his mouth is open wide, sharp breaths falling out of them, his hands still gripping Zayn's thighs, a bit firmer now than before. Just looking at him makes Zayn want more, he fucking needs it, and he starts to slowly grind his hips back and forth, Harry's cock moving big and hard inside him. Harry groans and Zayn lets his head fall back, smiling at the sensation. He moves his hips in circles and a whimper leaves his mouth, Harry's dick grazing his prostate slightly, making his head move down again to watch him on the bed.

“Harry,” He breathes out, and Harry opens his eyes. A moan gets stuck in his throat as he watches Zayn move gently on his cock and he almost looks like he's about to cry before a proper groan is released from his throat as Zayn raises his hips slightly before sinking down again.

“Does that feel good, babe?” Zayn asks, repeating the motion, making his breath hitch around a smile. Harry nods furiously, not being able to say anything with the way Zayn's pace has started to quicken slightly.

“Yeah?” Zayn continues, sitting down properly again and grinding his hips down hard, groaning deeply at the feeling. “You feel so good inside me, Harry, _fuck_ ,” His brows are furrowed, mouth hanging open and he looks down at Harry again who has his hands clutching the sheets by Zayn's knees now. Zayn leans down with his hands on the bed beside Harry's head, nuzzling his neck and keeping his hips moving up and down in a steady pace.

“You like that?” He breathes out against Harry's ear, mouthing at his jaw. “Me sitting down on you like this? On every fucking inch of you?” Harry releases a strangled moan and his hands move to grip Zayn's hips firmly. Zayn moves so he can look at Harry properly, and Harry tears his eyes from where they're looking down at where the two of them are connected to meet Zayn's gaze.

“ _Fuck_ , Zayn,” He chokes out, looking so overwhelmed that Zayn has to kiss him. It's a messy tangle of tongues and Zayn bites down gently on Harry's lower lip before parting, Harry's breathing so rapidly now, and Zayn clenches down on him slightly, seeing the way Harry's eyes roll back into his head. His grip on Zayn's hips get even tighter and Zayn bites his lip, loving the feel of them, his fingers probably forming bruises on his skin for him to look at later in the mirror, the thought making goosebumps break out on his body. He speeds up his movements, his thighs and bum making soft slapping noises as they fall down on Harry's hips over and over. He clenches around him again, his mind going slightly fuzzy at the feeling of him so thick and hard inside of him.

Harry whines and gasps out a breath. “Shit, Zayn, I'm- I can't-,” He gets out and Zayn looks down at him, still lying so tense on the sheets, his pecs twitching with every move of Zayn's hips. He moves up slightly, his hands still flat on the bed, holding himself steady.

“It's alright,” He says, his voice a breathless whisper. “You can fuck me, go on.” Harry locks eyes with him, both of them panting, and Zayn nods. Harry releases a desperate moan and plants his feet flat on the mattress, gripping Zayn's hips and pushing him down as he finally bucks his own hips up, his cock pressing up inside Zayn making him choke out a gasp. He manages to get a proper hold of the sheets in his clenched fists before Harry starts thrusting into him properly, his pace fast and desperate and suddenly Zayn can do nothing but try to keep his position steady and just take it. Harry angles his hips and brushes against Zayn's spot and Zayn cries out, letting himself slump down on Harry with his face in his neck and his hands clutching his shoulder, Harry holding onto his hips and moving him up and down on his dick.

The feeling is so intense that Zayn can barely think. He hears Harry panting in his ear and bites down on the skin infront of him, a long muffled whine escaping his lips as Harry keeps hitting that spot inside of him. Harry's thrusts start to get uneven and he sneaks a hand between them to grab at Zayn's cock and starts to jerk him off furiously. Zayn's thighs are starting to tremble from holding himself up and he releases his mouth from Harry's shoulder and buries his face in his neck instead, his voice completely stuck in his throat, only being able to let out harsh breaths at the incredible feeling, Harry's cock moving big and hard inside of him and his hand on his dick making him see stars, and just like that, he's coming, shoving an arm around Harry's neck between the mattress and holding on so tight he would probably be worried about hurting him if he wasn't experiencing the orgasm of a lifetime and not being able to think about anything but the feeling of pleasure shooting through his whole body and making him shudder and clench wildly around Harry who gives a strangled groan, gripping Zayn's hips even harder and thrusting up only once before Zayn can feel the warmth of him coming inside him through the condom. He keeps the firm grip around Harry's neck, his forehead pressed against his shoulder and trying to suck in as much air as he can, still shaking from the force of his own orgasm.

Harry is still moaning softly in his ear, his hips grinding up slowly into Zayn, riding out the rest of his orgasm while wrapping his arms fully around Zayn's waist, burying his face in his neck.

They're still both breathing heavily as Harry comes to a standstill, letting his bum rest down completely on the bed and pulling Zayn with him. Zayn is laying on him completely lifeless, not even mustering up the strength to let Harry's cock slip out of his arse.

Harry is the first one to get his wits about him somewhat and he moves his head from Zayn's neck to whisper in his ear.

“I'm gonna pull out, babe, okay?”

Zayn just lets out a huff of air, but Harry takes that as a yes, grabbing the base of his cock, and gently moving Zayn up a bit to let himself slide out, as slowly as he possibly can. It's still a bit much on Zayn's sensitive body and he whines at the feeling. Harry presses a kiss to his temple before pulling out completely, sighing heavily and moving his hand up to rub Zayn's back comfortingly.

They must lay there for at least a solid twenty minutes, just breathing together, Harry not having even pulled off his condom, and Zayn still lying in his own mess on Harry's chest, before Zayn finally hoists himself up on his elbows to look down at Harry. They stare at each other for a bit, before they both break out into grins and start giggling. Zayn moves down to give Harry a soft, lingering kiss.

“Worth the wait?” He whispers when they part. Harry lifts up a hand to run gently over Zayn's cheek.

He grins and nods. “Every fucking second.”

 

They stand on the platform at Euston station, waiting for Harry's train to arrive. Luckily, he'd thought to bring all of his bags with him to Zayn's the day before, because waking up late they only had time to grab a quick cuppa before having to head to the station so as not to miss Harry's train completely. He's going away over Christmas, back home to see his family, his mum already having left a couple days earlier. Zayn is staying in London this year, and his parents are having a bunch of relatives come down over a few days to stay with them in their big new house. It's only a couple of days but Zayn is still pouting slightly as they listen for the call outs over the speakers where they're standing on the platform.

Zayn's got his hands around Harry's waist, hugging him from the side, his head resting on Harry's shoulder. Harry has a duffle bag on his other shoulder and an arm around Zayn as they watch the train tracks for the train to arrive.

“Fuck, I forgot to say goodbye to Louis and Liam,” Harry says suddenly, looking down at Zayn, who lifts his head at his outburst.

“It's okay, I'll tell them. It's only a couple days anyway, innit.”

Harry nods at that.

“I was gonna call them yesterday but, I guess I got a little distracted.” He smirks a bit.

Zayn grins back at him. “I guess you did,” He agrees, moving up for a kiss. “It was alright though, wasn't it?” He asks still smiling as they part.

Harry's face goes serious in the blink of an eye. “No, it wasn't. I'm not coming back.” He says and Zayn pinches his nipple with narrowed eyes.

“Ow!” Harry laughs, rubbing over his poor nipple.

“There'll be none of that,” Zayn says, moving to stand in front of him, still with his hands linked together behind Harry's back. “I'll miss you, you twat.” Harry laughs again.

“Of course you will, I'll miss you too, terribly.” Harry says, his smile turning into a fake pout. Zayn narrows his eyes again, not being able to keep the smile away from his face.

“You turn into a right diva when you've gotten your dick wet, don't you?”

“Is that code word for you bringing me chocolate?” Harry's eyes squint at him before turning hopeful. Zayn snorts.

“As if. I think you've had quite enough from me, don't you?”

Harry's smile gets a lot more intimate and he shakes his head, a certain glint in his eye that Zayn is quickly growing to love. “Not even close.” Harry says before moving in for a kiss. Zayn opens his mouth almost instantly and they share a lazy kiss on the platform, Harry's hands moving up to gently cup Zayn's face. A sound of rumbling train tracks interrupt them and they pull apart to see the train arriving at the platform, slowly coming to a standstill.

They both look back at each other at the same time, small smiles on their faces.

“I'll text you when I get there.” Harry says, brushing a strand of hair away from Zayn's face. Zayn nods.

“Good. And say hello to Anne for me, yeah?”

Harry smiles warmly and nods.

“I will. Maybe, hopefully, next year we could go together. I could show you around a bit, point out all the places where Louis' taken a drunken piss?”

Zayn snorts loudly, bowing his head down at the force of it. He nods as he turns up to look at a grinning Harry again, his first words registering in his head and he smiles.

“Yeah. I think I'd like that.”

The woman in the speakers calls something out about Harry's train about to depart and Harry bends down for one long, firm kiss, before he lets go of Zayn to lift up his other bag. He pulls his hair back from his face when he has everything he needs with him in his hands, and can't help himself from leaning in once more, cupping the back of Zayn's head and closing his eyes for one more liplock.

“Okay,” He says when he lets go and hoists his duffel bag further up on his shoulder. “Bye, babe.”

“Bye,” Zayn says, smiling at him with warm eyes, and Harry grins back brightly before turning around and getting on the train.

 

Zayn spends the holidays at his parents house, having a great time with his cousins that he hasn't seen in a while and loving the time spent with his family and relatives, just eating and drinking and laughing and sleeping. His father takes him aside at one point to tell him that word had travelled to him that Gregory at his firm had been dropping some very inappropriate and downright nasty comments about Zayn for some reason, making Zayn sound like an absolute whore, and asked Zayn if he knew anything about why he would possibly be saying that. Zayn had just shrugged his head, and grinned evilly when Yaser had muttered about having to discuss it with their superiors, and that he certainly didn't appreciate people working under him going around spewing nasty lies about his children (He had then proceeded to give him the birthday gift disguised as a Christmas present that he'd been hiding from Zayn, leading him out to the garage to show him the motorcycle that he'd bought for him, giving a gobsmacked Zayn the keys and laughing happily when Zayn started swearing wildly before jumping up to hug his father).

He misses Harry, pretty much all the time, but it's in a good way. He honestly just feels great in general, feeling very at peace with himself and his life, more so than he has in a long while, and he revels in it, the calmness and the warmth that has settled inside him without him even noticing.

He takes Waliyha to see Louis perform at the Prince of Wales Theater, and it's excellent, and seeing his little sister so excited and happy almost makes his entire year.

Harry gets back on the 27th, coming straight to Zayn and Louis' flat, bags and all. Louis and Liam are fortunately out, because the look in Harry's eyes when he sees Zayn leads to something decidedly private in .2 seconds.

“God, I've missed you,” Harry breathes out as they fumble with their clothes, standing in Zayn's room. They get their shirts off before Harry pulls Zayn in again, not kissing him, but just to run his hands all over Zayn's naked skin. “I thought about you all the time,” Harry's eyes have a hunger in them when they look at Zayn, a hunger that makes Zayn's whole body break out in shivers. “I thought about you, and your body.” And that's all Zayn needs to quickly guide himself back towards the bed, pulling Harry down on top of him.

Their kisses turn desperate and Harry grinds his hips down into Zayn's, both of them still with their trousers on. Harry's hands move to Zayn's arms, and Zayn moves them up to rest beside his head, Harry's hands trailing up before linking their fingers together. Harry manages to stumble all of a sudden, forgetting about holding his weight up properly in the new position and lets go of Zayn's hands to steady himself before he squashes Zayn completely, his hands happening to settle on Zayn's wrists instead.

“Shit, sorry,” He breathes out, laughing at himself, Zayn joining him as soon as the danger is over. His hands are still on Zayn's wrists and a tingle suddenly flows through Zayn's body. Harry moves to grasp Zayn's hands again, but Zayn stops him before he can.

“Wait,” He says quickly, and Harry freezes. He looks at Zayn and waits for him to continue, a confused look on his face, and Zayn gently moves his arms under Harry's hands. Something clicks inside Harry's head and his gaze turns a bit sharper. He grips Zayn's wrists more firmly, tightening his hands around them just a bit and Zayn bites his lip.

“You like that?” Harry asks quietly. Zayn nods his head, looking up at him, still with his bottom lip between his teeth.

Harry lets out a slow breath, almost to collect himself, before putting more of his weight onto his hands, pressing Zayn's wrists into the mattress, and Zayn lets a small gasp escape his lips.

A teasing grin spreads on Harry's face and Zayn smiles back, a challenging look in his eyes.

“Alright then,” Harry says, before grinding his hips down roughly against Zayn's and moving down to suck a love bite on Zayn's neck, making Zayn moan and buck his hips, grinning to himself and biting his lip.

 

The pub on the corner of Hyde Park is crowded when they get there, more so than Zayn was expecting and he looks around feeling both slightly nervous for Harry and proud of his band for attracting such a large amount of people. There's a pretty good amount of people in his age, but a lot of the crowd is also made up of people that he'd guess to be in around his parents age range. It's New Years Eve, and as the minutes tick by, the place gets more or less packed.

They arrive fairly early and just in time to down a shot and order a beer before the bar gets near impossible to get to, and they manage to find a good spot against a wall, with a nice view over the stage at the back of the pub.

“I didn't even know he was in a band?” Liam says loudly over the rumbling of the crowd, and Louis and Zayn turn to him at the same time.

“They've only been together for like a month,” Zayn explains, just as loudly. Harry had only remembered to tell him about the gig he was playing at the pub as an afterthought in a text over Christmas, and Zayn had scolded him for a bit before starting to ask questions about how it all came about. “They're all in the same class together.” He continues.

“They any good?” Louis asks, blunt as ever, and Zayn elbows him in the side. “What?” Louis says, pressing closer to Liam to shield himself from any further attacks. Zayn just smiles and shrugs.

“I don't know, I've never heard them play have I?” He gets an elbow back and laughs at the look on Louis' face.

“Hey, hey,” Liam says suddenly, turning their focus back to the stage where the members of the band are starting to get ready. Harry moves to stand in front of the stage as the other guys start to play, testing the sound. He's got an iPad in his hand that he fiddles with while listening to them play, probably adjusting the volume on the different mics. He's wearing a very busy shirt with flamingos on them and Zayn grins to himself, watching him return to the stage after being satisfied with the sound and set the iPad on a stand in front of him. He moves up to grip the mic, adjusting his in ears a bit before nodding to the other guys and looking out at the crowd and all the people that have now turned their attention towards the stage.

“Alright, good evening everybody, we are the Party Band,” Louis snorts at the name, and Zayn tries to bite down a smile himself. “And we're here to play you a couple of songs to get you all in the right mood to count down the lovely new year.”

He looks so comfortable on stage just talking to the audience and Zayn can't keep the smile off his face.

“Don't be afraid to sing along and have a little boogie if you're feeling the music, that is after all what we are here for,” He smiles a bit cheekily before turning to the rest of the band and counting them in before they launch into a thumping version of Valerie by Amy Winehouse. And they sound good, really good. Harry's voice is raspy and deep but smoother than velvet and Zayn can do nothing but stare in complete adoration and awe.

 

The whole place is dancing and singing along to the band playing a very funky version of Celebration, when Liam looks down at his watch after giving a very loud and enthusiastic holler towards the stage that Harry has been absolutely owning for the past hour.

“It's five minutes to midnight,” He yells just before the band ends the song to a roaring applause and Harry steps up to talk into the mic, considerably more out of breath than he had been fifteen songs ago.

“Thank you very much, thank you,” He grins as the crowd keeps whistling and clapping. “Alright, it's almost midnight so we're gonna take a little break and come back sometime next year, if that's okay,” Harry says grinning at his own quip and Louis boos loudly, Zayn laughing at the whole ordeal.

Harry quickly hops off the stage as people begin to pile out on the street, heading straight to the three of them that he managed to spot a couple of songs in. He gives Zayn a kiss before anything else, grabbing onto his hand and pulling him outside, yelling for Liam and Louis to follow.

They get outside to move into the park with everyone else, looking out at the grass where fireworks are already being shot up into the sky, and Harry moves to stand behind Zayn as they find a good spot, his hands around his waist to keep him from being too cold. None of them are wearing any jackets, but it's a pretty warm night all things considered, and Harry who has been jumping up and down for an hour is still sweaty and appears to be immune to the new temperature.

“You enjoying yourself?” He says into Zayn's ear, moving his arms up to wrap around Zayn's shoulders, pulling him back into his chest. Zayn smiles, nodding.

“I am, very much. You sound incredible, babe,” He says, sounding like a mixture between surprised and impressed and turning his head to look up at Harry, holding onto Harry's arms around him.

Harry looks at him and shrugs, a pleased grin on his face before he raises his eyes to look up in pretend modesty. “We're doing alright.” Zayn just shakes his head and kisses his cheek.

Liam and Louis suddenly start to count down where they stand beside them, also with their arms around each other, along with everyone around them and they both look up into the sky, listening to the people shouting the numbers.

“Happy New Year!” People are cheering and clapping and a bunch of fireworks all shoot up into the sky, making Harry jump, his arms tightening around Zayn, and Zayn laughs, gripping his arms tighter.

“Fucking hell,” Harry mutters under his breath before Zayn turns his head, reaching up with a hand to pull Harry in for a kiss, smiling happily against his mouth.

“Happy new year, babe,” He mumbles into the kiss, before moving away to look up at the sky bursting with colours, and smiling when Harry presses a long kiss to his cheek.

 

Zayn wakes up on the first day of the new year feeling unexpectedly revived and unsuprisingly satisfied. Harry and him had left as soon as he'd finished his set, and headed straight home to Zayn and Louis' flat.

Harry had fucked him slowly and gently, thrusting deeply in a deliciously toecurling pace, their foreheads pressed together, breathing the same air as the lights still flickered in the distance outside the windows. He'd fallen asleep with a smile on his face, and Harry's wild curls tickling his chin.

The bed is empty as he rolls over, rubbing his eyes, and the smell of something sweet reaches his nose almost instantly. He sits up and looks around the room, still blinking awake. Harry's ridiculous flamingo shirt from yesterday is lying neatly folded on the dresser and there's music coming from somewhere in the flat. Zayn smiles through bleary eyes, and throws the covers off himself to get dressed.

Padding out into the kitchen he sees Harry standing by the counter, swiping some flour down into his hand and bobbing his head to the music coming out of Zayn's portable speakers that Harry's connected his phone to, all sitting on the breakfast bar. It's an old song by the Surpremes and Zayn grins.

“Hey!” He yells loudly, because it's a new year and he's feeling way too perky for having just woken up. Harry jumps wildly, looking over his shoulder and closing his eyes and bowing his head, breathing heavily from the shock, his floury hands resting gingerly on the counter.

“Fuckin- come here so I can hurt you,” He says, his eyes narrowed with no heat in them whatsoever. Zayn is still cackling from Harry's reaction, but he walks over anyway, putting an arm around Harry's waist and kissing his naked shoulder.

“Sorry, babe,” He giggles, and Harry throws a sticky hand down towards Zayn's crotch, Zayn catching it at the last second. “Stop it!”

“Twat,” Harry mutters before looking over his shoulder with pouty lips that Zayn immediately leans in to kiss. They part and Zayn runs his hands up and down Harry's sides.

“What you doin'?” He looks down at the slight mess Harry is trying to clean up on his counter.

“I made some muffins,” Harry smiles as he keeps tidying the counter, grabbing the dishcloth and running it over the wooden surface. “Did you know I used to be a baker?” He asks, grinning at Zayn over his shoulder, who's bent down to look inside the oven at the muffins starting to swell in their trays.

“I did not know that,” Zayn says, still with his hands on Harry's waist, standing up straight again.

Harry frowns. “Did you not?”

Zayn shakes his head, raising his brows.

“Really? I thought I'd told you that?”

“Then why would you ask me?”

Harry opens his mouth to speak, before he stops himself, shaking his head. “Nevermind, Louis'd get it.” Zayn is getting increasingly more confused, but shrugs regardless.

“You need help cleaning up?”

“Yeah, if you want, I think I'm about done though,” Harry says, giving the counter a couple more swipes. “You could put the sugar away, please.”

Zayn puts away the bag of sugar into its cupboard and sits down at the breakfast bar, watching Harry wash his hands thoroughly with the fairy liquid.

“You know, I've been thinking.” Zayn starts, watching Harry's hands under the water. “I think I might quit the restaurant.”

Harry looks up at him with raised eyebrows. “Really?”

Zayn nods firmly, sucking in the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, I've been thinking about it for a while and, I just, I don't know, I don't feel like doing it anymore,” He frowns a bit, still watching the steady stream of water pouring down from the tap. “It's just really not what I wanna do with my life. And I always knew it was gonna be temporary but I've been there for like a year now and it's just like, I don't know. Instead of just waiting for something to happen while I do what I think I need to until I can do what I _want to_ , I should just _do it_. Like what's the point of waiting for something when you could just make it happen yourself, you know?”

Harry is nodding while listening to him speak, drying his hands on the kitchen towel. “That's a big deal.” He says, looking at Zayn like he's truly made a breakthrough.

“Don't say it like that,” Zayn whines slightly, pouting at Harry.

“What?” Harry says, laughing at Zayn's face. “It is!”

“You think it's a stupid decision?” Zayn bites his lip.

“No!” Harry says firmly, frowning at the thought. “I think if that's what you really want, then it's a great decision. The best decision.” He throws the towel on the clean counter and walks over to the breakfast bar, standing opposite Zayn and lowers the volume on the speakers before resting his hands on the table. “It's all your decision, Zayn. You've gotta make it on your own. But whatever you decide, I'm gonna be here for you.”

The slightly worried look on Zayn's face is replaced by a smile. He looks down at the table, still in deep thought.

“What would you like to do?” Harry asks softly.

Zayn shrugs a shoulder. “I don't know.” He looks up. Harry's got his eyebrows raised. Zayn shrugs again.

“I guess I've always wanted to write. That's what I came here for.” He huffs out a laugh and frowns, almost as if he'd forgotten about the fact. For a while, he realises, he kind of had.

“Now's as good a time as any to give it a go, don't you think?” Harry says. “Hey, one of the guys in the band has a dad who works in publishing. You want me to see if they're looking for like, interns or something?”

Zayn looks up at his boyfriend. Lovely, lovely Harry, who never seems to run out of surprises.

“Yeah,” He says, a big smile on his face. “Yeah, I'd love that.”

Harry grins and leans over the bar, Zayn moving in to meet him for a kiss. Harry turns up the volume again and The Four Tops singing ' _Sugar pie honey bunch_ ' starts blasting from the speakers between them. Zayn starts moving his shoulders to the music sitting in his chair as Harry leans down to check on the muffins.

“I love this song,” He says, humming along to the melody. Harry looks up and grins.

“Come on then,” He smiles, moving away from the table and swaying his hips side to side stupidly.

Zayn laughs and shakes his head. “Nah, I haven't even had coffee yet, much less a shot of alcohol.”

“Oh come on,” Harry says, walking over and grabbing his hand, beginning to pull him out of his chair. “New year, new you.” Zayn gives him a weird look but goes anyway, Harry still moving his body to the music, grabbing both of Zayn's hands and pulling them back and forth. Zayn laughs and joins in just as the saxophone starts playing properly and Harry grins brightly pulling him into him, an arm around his waist and his right hand clutching Zayn's. They sway wildly back and forth, giggling at each other and singing along, before Harry slows them down a bit, the music playing in the same fast pace.

“I know it's gonna sound ridiculously cheesy,” Harry starts as they keep swaying gently side to side, looking into Zayn's eyes with a small smile. Zayn smiles back, a look of pure adoration in his eyes.

“Go on,” He says quietly.

“But, even though, this past year has been really fucking brilliant, to me at least,” Harry shrugs, his lips still quirked upwards, looking pointedly down at Zayn. “I feel like, this one could prove to be really, _really_ fucking good.”

Zayn snickers. “Quite the linguist, aren't you.”

Harry pouts. “You don't think so?”

Zayn looks at Harry, sweeping his eyes over his face before settling on Harry's, still so bright in the early morning, despite the slight rings underneath them from the night before. He nods, because he does think so.

“Yeah, I do, babe.”

He really fucking does.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts, or give some kudos if you happened to enjoy it.
> 
> Also hit me up on [tumblr](http://behbisthatyouyeah.tumblr.com/), I'm always up for a chat. xx


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